Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 6, 2015 Author Posted March 6, 2015 I dated a guy who didn't drink. It was a little strange. I felt like he was judging me for drinking. He told me he'd rather be the DD for people, but I also felt like he was pointing finger back at me. I'm in a stressful degree (in the health care field) and on occasion I like to knock a drink back with some friends to relax. I typically would not mind. But I do have an issue if the person starts judging me. I was with another guy who did not mind that I did not drink (he did not drink since he was in the military--that it self was extremely odd to me) But as long as I am respected. I do not care if the person does or does not drink. Just extremely hard to be with someone who does not (more than likely they will judge at some point). This is why I always stress that I could care less if a woman drinks. Doesn't bother me at all. My only pet peeve is when people don't respect that I avoid alcohol and try to get me to drink. My family does this all the time just to mess with me at holiday functions or family dinners. My brother is always shoving a beer in my face saying to just drink already..LOL
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 What's so hard about having an occasional beer or glass of wine =/ I don't get it. And yeah - if you say "I don't drink" the wrong way they may feel like you'll judge them.
Maleficent Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 What's so hard about having an occasional beer or glass of wine =/ I don't get it. And yeah - if you say "I don't drink" the wrong way they may feel like you'll judge them. It's not. But if a person decides not to drink, it's their choice. For athletes, alcohol sometimes affect performance so they just don't drink. Singers cut off dairy because it creates flegm, etc etc.
NJ123 Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 Basically if someone judges you for not drinking or do drink when you don't, are they really worth your time anyway? I could completely understand if they were heavy drinkers & you don't want to deal with that, which I wouldn't want to personally. I've personally seen what drinking heavily can do to someone so no thanks. Too much to deal with.
Under The Radar Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 I'm a little late to this party ...... uhhh, I mean thread ...... but I did arrive sober Kidding aside, I personal train for a living, do not drink coffee, do not drink any alcohol (in fact, I've never been drunk before), and have not experienced negative feedback while dating because of this. I've been straight edge my entire life for no particular reason ...... just happened organically. Every girlfriend I've ever had drank recreationally and it was not a problem for me. As well, all of my male friends are social drinkers and I've never been judged or shamed for not participating. I just don't like the taste. It has nothing to do with religion, being uptight, fitness, etc... I don't come off anxious (as another poster suggested men who don't drink are labeled as "squares") or high strung. I think dating success as a non drinker comes down to being balanced ...... the ability to listen, have fun, make people laugh, appearing comfortable in your own skin, well spoken, etc... despite being in the minority for not drinking. If you bring enough to the table most people are not going to view it as a deal breaker ...... especially if you don't mind them drinking. I'm not interested in "party girls" or women who need alcohol daily ...... so I don't go for those individuals. Nevertheless, every LTR I've had, the woman was a social drinker and it worked out fine. They respected me and I respected them irregardless of our differences. It does help in the dating world to be more flexible unless it's an absolute deal breaker ...... like for me an example would be smoking ...... smoking isn't something I'd flex for. So, I pick and choose my battles while trying my best to make people feel comfortable around me. I think being more open minded has, if anything, made me more curious to the women I've met ...... they don't find my "not drinking" a problem. Just my 2 cents. 1
Starship Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 The OP must live in an alternative universe. I personally do not have friends who would not agree to meet a man they were otherwise interested in because he does not drink Happens several times? I just do not believe this. From the nature of the original post, there are other issues that are a reason for not meeting other than the fact that he does not drink....like too much exaggeration. Curious...how many women on this site would reject meeting a man because he did not drink? It would be more about his 'attitude' about it or some other social issue.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 6, 2015 Author Posted March 6, 2015 I'm a little late to this party ...... uhhh, I mean thread ...... but I did arrive sober Kidding aside, I personal train for a living, do not drink coffee, do not drink any alcohol (in fact, I've never been drunk before), and have not experienced negative feedback while dating because of this. I've been straight edge my entire life for no particular reason ...... just happened organically. Every girlfriend I've ever had drank recreationally and it was not a problem for me. As well, all of my male friends are social drinkers and I've never been judged or shamed for not participating. I just don't like the taste. It has nothing to do with religion, being uptight, fitness, etc... I don't come off anxious (as another poster suggested men who don't drink are labeled as "squares") or high strung. I think dating success as a non drinker comes down to being balanced ...... the ability to listen, have fun, make people laugh, appearing comfortable in your own skin, well spoken, etc... despite being in the minority for not drinking. If you bring enough to the table most people are not going to view it as a deal breaker ...... especially if you don't mind them drinking. I'm not interested in "party girls" or women who need alcohol daily ...... so I don't go for those individuals. Nevertheless, every LTR I've had, the woman was a social drinker and it worked out fine. They respected me and I respected them irregardless of our differences. It does help in the dating world to be more flexible unless it's an absolute deal breaker ...... like for me an example would be smoking ...... smoking isn't something I'd flex for. So, I pick and choose my battles while trying my best to make people feel comfortable around me. I think being more open minded has, if anything, made me more curious to the women I've met ...... they don't find my "not drinking" a problem. Just my 2 cents. Good to see another personal trainer on here besides me that has the same mindset. As you say, it's a lifestyle choice and like you, I've never enjoyed the taste of alcohol. One of my close friends is also a trainer as well, and he doesn't drink alcohol or coffee either.
alphamale Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 Good I've never enjoyed the taste of alcohol. One of my close friends is also a trainer as well, and he doesn't drink alcohol or coffee either. people generally don't "enjoy" the taste of alcohol, its the effect they like
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 people generally don't "enjoy" the taste of alcohol, its the effect they like Ironically I've found drinks stronger in alcohol taste more smooth. Lol.
NopeNah Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 people generally don't "enjoy" the taste of alcohol, its the effect they like I actually enjoy the taste of beer,maybe a little too much at times.
1040 Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 people generally don't "enjoy" the taste of alcohol, its the effect they like Don't know about generally, but I LOVE the taste/smell of beer; to me it's the greatest on earth. If I could find non-alcoholic beer of the same quality, I'd drink 12 of them a day.
MissBee Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 Funny, I've seen a few dating profiles of vegetarian women expecting their future mates to also be vegetarian. Hate to break it to her, but not many men are vegetarians. Where did you get this idea from? I know many vegetarian men. I also dated a guy who was vegan and that was a bit much for me, but some gender breakdowns I see people throwing around, I'm like what does this have to do with being a man or woman? Lots of people period are vegetarian or vegan for different reasons. 2
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 Idk whenever I hear of vegetarian men, I immediately think of Beta Men lol.
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 I wouldn't mind dating a guy that didn't drink alcohol, it's his choice and he has his own reasons for not wanting to. So long as he didn't judge me for liking to have a few drinks on a Friday night (which I'm planning on doing later lol), then it's all good. If I'm sitting across the table from a cute and interesting guy and getting to know him via having intellectually stimulating convos, it doesn't matter to me if he's drinking a Mai Tai or a Pepsi. I can't believe that you've had so many problems with the women you date having an issue with you not being a drinker, OP. .
alphamale Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 I wouldn't mind dating a guy that didn't drink alcohol, it's his choice and he has his own reasons for not wanting to. So long as he didn't judge me for liking to have a few drinks on a Friday night (which I'm planning on doing later lol), then it's all good. If I'm sitting across the table from a cute and interesting guy and getting to know him via having intellectually stimulating convos, it doesn't matter to me if he's drinking a Mai Tai or a Pepsi. I can't believe that you've had so many problems with the women you date having an issue with you not being a drinker, OP. . would you date me BOZG? I'm an ex-alcoholic and don't drink anymore and i'm in AA.
NopeNah Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 would you date me BOZG? I'm an ex-alcoholic and don't drink anymore and i'm in AA. Good for you! One day at a time! 1
mightycpa Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 would you date me BOZG? I'm an ex-alcoholic and don't drink anymore and i'm in AA. I thought that AA's position is that there is no such thing as an EX alcoholic. You either is or you ain't. I thought it was recovering alcoholic. You pose an interesting question. I read a post recently where she gave me the impression that she would not be willing to date someone whose biggest accomplishment on any given day is that they did not take a drink, even though alcohol was not discussed. That's a pretty damning way to put it, isn't it? But you have to acknowledge that there's a big difference between a person who doesn't drink, and one who can't drink. I can't wait to read the answer. 1
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 would you date me BOZG? I'm an ex-alcoholic and don't drink anymore and i'm in AA. LOL:p Sure I would! Starbucks, here we come! .
alphamale Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 I thought that AA's position is that there is no such thing as an EX alcoholic. You either is or you ain't. I thought it was recovering alcoholic. you are correct You pose an interesting question. I read a post recently where she gave me the impression that she would not be willing to date someone whose biggest accomplishment on any given day is that they did not take a drink, even though alcohol was not discussed. That's a pretty damning way to put it, isn't it? But you have to acknowledge that there's a big difference between a person who doesn't drink, and one who can't drink. I can't wait to read the answer. alcoholism is a disease that can only be kept in check by some higher power. the higher power being one of your choosing
mightycpa Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 alcoholism is a disease I prefer to call it a compulsive behavior. I think addiction has less in common with the concept of disease than it does with the concept of compulsion. You can't get infected, it is not degenerative, and there is no incapacity of bodily functions. If alcohol is withdrawn, all symptoms vanish. If alcohol did not produce bad outcomes, it would be no different than compulsive washing of dirty dishes. I doubt anybody would call that a disease. But I don't have a dog in that fight. Whatever works for you.
alphamale Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 I prefer to call it a compulsive behavior. I think addiction has less in common with the concept of disease than it does with the concept of compulsion. You can't get infected, it is not degenerative, and there is no incapacity of bodily functions. If alcohol is withdrawn, all symptoms vanish. If alcohol did not produce bad outcomes, it would be no different than compulsive washing of dirty dishes. I doubt anybody would call that a disease. But I don't have a dog in that fight. Whatever works for you. ask any doctor and they will tell you that alcoholism is a disease as are heroin, pcp, cocaine, crack, meth, etc...
CFW Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Why don't you order a drink and take a couple of sips and by then you will have ascertained if perhaps she has a problem. It's a crutch for them but they may not need it down the line. I would bet a high percentage of relationships are lubed into existence initially by alcohol. Also am regret since beer goggles occur when an intoxicated person perceives symmetry in an asymmetrical face only to wake and find a Picasso portrait lying beside them. It won't kill you to compromise. Show up early and have the tender make it weak with olives (interactive prop.) Now you are blending and you are both quietly judging each other. That's what I would do but I an alcoholic Mormon and reformed Muslim. JK. Really if you can drink why make such a big deal out of a couple of minisips and a meals worth of garnish? Just a suggestion and only for the real gems. Why can't he have what he chooses? but it's typical. I get a lemonade and she makes fun of it. I'm not telling you what to drink so why make him compromise? I do not drink either.
CFW Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I will not date someone who doesn't drink. I have once and it ended up being a point of contention in our relationship, as he was very judgemental of my drinking and would constantly point out how much I had drunk. I went into the relationship open minded. It didn't really matter that he didn't drink, as he would still go to the pub and drink lime and soda or something like that. But it became an actual issue and now I make it a conscious decision. TBH, I find it rarer that people don't drink at all anyway, so it's not like I'm limiting my chances considerably. The open minded one isn't you. why can't a guy choose if he drinks or doesn't. It's nothing short of bullying of non drinkers and why should we have to explain? Ordering lemonade makes me evil? Really?
Phoe Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Huh, I find that rather surprising. I don't know many women who I honestly think would care. I personally am not a drinker (maybe 3 glasses of wine a year at a special occasion). I would likely prefer someone similar to me.
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