leia1028 Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 I'm curious for those who broke up with their ex more than once. I have a lot of questions in my head and I wanted to hear people's experiences. Thank you for your time! Did you both really try to make things work the second time around? What led to the breakup? Was there something you wished you did differently with them? Who broke up with who the second time around? Was it more painful or less painful and why? Did you regret trying again with them?
Situasian Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 I've broken up with my ex 3-4 times. First few times she broke up with me after i found out she went behind my back. The last was mutal break up but i went back to her but she didn't take me back. In all cases i found out she went behind my back and i think after the 2nd time i honestly still loved her but i was very reserved with telling her how much i cared about her and just generally i held back. To be completely honest this latest break up is probably the hardest because this feels very final especially since she has started seeing someone else but at the same time i want her to be happy and if shes happy with her new guy then so be it. If i could change anything it would differently be less reserved... probably would of stood up for myself a bit more but also showed her i loved her more than she would ever know. I think it could have possibly worked out between the two of us if i didnt hold back a few times with how i felt towards her because she was getting better with communication but i just didnt know if she was playing me around or not. hope this helps!
Author leia1028 Posted March 6, 2015 Author Posted March 6, 2015 I've broken up with my ex 3-4 times. First few times she broke up with me after i found out she went behind my back. The last was mutal break up but i went back to her but she didn't take me back. In all cases i found out she went behind my back and i think after the 2nd time i honestly still loved her but i was very reserved with telling her how much i cared about her and just generally i held back. To be completely honest this latest break up is probably the hardest because this feels very final especially since she has started seeing someone else but at the same time i want her to be happy and if shes happy with her new guy then so be it. If i could change anything it would differently be less reserved... probably would of stood up for myself a bit more but also showed her i loved her more than she would ever know. I think it could have possibly worked out between the two of us if i didnt hold back a few times with how i felt towards her because she was getting better with communication but i just didnt know if she was playing me around or not. hope this helps! I appreciate your reply and sharing your experience. It's sweet that you wanted her to just be happy. Would you say she tried to make things work on her part to make the relationship better? You seem like a great person and took away things from the relationship.
Situasian Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 I would say yes to a certain point. She definitely tried the first few months every time we got back together but i think we were at different points in our lives. I honestly can say if we meet a few years from now we would happily be married with children etc. I work a high stress job with long hours and rotating shifts so when we lived together she would find it hard not having me around all the time hence why she might of tried to find company from other people. I can honestly say though besides that one fault she had she was an amazing person. I assume your partner and yourself have broken up and your wondering if you want to give it another go?
Author leia1028 Posted March 6, 2015 Author Posted March 6, 2015 I would say yes to a certain point. She definitely tried the first few months every time we got back together but i think we were at different points in our lives. I honestly can say if we meet a few years from now we would happily be married with children etc. I work a high stress job with long hours and rotating shifts so when we lived together she would find it hard not having me around all the time hence why she might of tried to find company from other people. I can honestly say though besides that one fault she had she was an amazing person. I assume your partner and yourself have broken up and your wondering if you want to give it another go? My ex and I have broken up months ago and recently we began talking again. It's complicated to explain the situation and how I feel. I am cautious about where him and I stand at the moment. I'm just being aware of chances breaking up in the future (if we got together) being a possibility. But of course breaking up is something I would want to avoid and just do my best to make things healthier and stronger in the relationship. I wanted to hear other people's experiences.
frigginlost Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 Broke up with my ex 3 times. First time I broke it off for lying to me. I took her back. Second time, I broke it off because she cheated on me with an ex. I took her back. Third time, she broke up with me 1 week before I found out she cheated on me with a different ex. If I could do it over again, I would have not taken her back after the first. It is only now that all the pieces are starting to fit together. She has a personality disorder of self sabotaging because of a belief she is not worthy of love. Extremely painful for someone like me who loves unconditionally to come to terms with...
Situasian Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 I think its important to realise that if you do try again, it must be a completely new relationship(which would be hard to do) because if it is not then the same mistakes will be getting repeated. For instance if for some miracle my ex wants to try again i would say yes but this time i would be a lot more open with my feelings and generally be more upbeat about our relationship rather than hold back and wait for disaster. I know there are so many things i wish i did or said before the latest break up
Jonp219 Posted March 6, 2015 Posted March 6, 2015 I think its important to realise that if you do try again, it must be a completely new relationship(which would be hard to do) because if it is not then the same mistakes will be getting repeated. For instance if for some miracle my ex wants to try again i would say yes but this time i would be a lot more open with my feelings and generally be more upbeat about our relationship rather than hold back and wait for disaster. I know there are so many things i wish i did or said before the latest break up That's the same thing I would do if I got back with my ex. That and continue to work on myself in therapy and try to get my insecurity and anger issues under control.
Author leia1028 Posted March 6, 2015 Author Posted March 6, 2015 I think its important to realise that if you do try again, it must be a completely new relationship(which would be hard to do) because if it is not then the same mistakes will be getting repeated. For instance if for some miracle my ex wants to try again i would say yes but this time i would be a lot more open with my feelings and generally be more upbeat about our relationship rather than hold back and wait for disaster. I know there are so many things i wish i did or said before the latest break up You're right, it is very important not to repeat the same mistakes. I did wish I've done things differently before the first breakup happened, but then we realize our mistakes, learn from them, and do better in the next relationship with whoever it is. What scares me is just not knowing what the future holds. So far it seems like breaking up the second time around is more painful than the first. I appreciate everyone's comments and sharing your experiences.
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