SoDepressed Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Hi Everyone, Mods please move if this is the wrong forum. Been lurking awhile and thought I would share. I know everyone will tell me I am stupid, believe me I have heard this already from everyone around me. I was with my ex gf for almost 4 years. Found out 2 months ago that she has been cheating on me in a long distance relationship with someone I know for the last 1-1.5 years. I always knew something was going on but she would always deny until I caught her red handed. She has told me that I am the perfect bf but the passion and attraction in our relationship has died. Basically since that has happened I have been trying to show her that I can be more fun and caring to bring back the passion. We have actually grown a lot closer and that relationship has actually improved a lot. However, she continues to talk to and the other guy continues to see her once every couple weeks. She is lying to the other guy and telling him that she is no longer seeing or talking to me, but has basically just been telling me that she is still seeing him because she is single and can do what she wants. During this time I have been going out and meeting other girls but can never take my mind off of her. She also gets jealous when I am talking to other girls even though she is asking me to date other girls. I know this because she goes through my phone. The last few weeks have been going great. However, every time we start getting really close again she starts pulling away and says that we shouldn't see each other as much. We just spent the weekend together on a trip and everything was perfect. She has been telling me she loves me and talking about our future together. Even saying I am the only person in her life that she can be herself with. Then once we get back she starts pulling away saying we are spending too much time together. Then she tells me that the other guy is coming the following weekend. At this point I am fed up so I just say if he's coming then don't talk to me anymore. We get into a fight and don't really talk, then we get into another fight later that night and she says that we shouldn't talk, but then messages me an hour later. This is all through text. This brings us to yesterday when one of her best friends saw me on a date with another girl. When I saw my ex gf later that day at the gym she was noticeably angry and wouldn't speak to me. She also won't admit why she's angry because she knows its ridiculous. Even after all this I want her back. I know everyone is just going to tell me to move on and that I'm stupid or to go NC. I have used NC with exs in the past and it has worked, but Im afraid with my ex gf it won't work because she is so stubborn. Every time we have broken up I have gotten her back by being persistent, but then again she was cheating on me the whole time so I guess I didn't really get her back. Would everyone recommend NC from here on out? Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Sadly, this woman doesn't respect you. Probably never will. After this current bit on the side, there will be another bit on the side. You are on an emotional rollercoaster and your lady is steering the way. You really don't have a say. Link to post Share on other sites
badpenny Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Not only does she not respect you, it would seem you have little respect for yourself, too... You seriously let her get way with this kind of behaviour...? she continues to talk to and the other guy continues to see her once every couple weeks. She is lying to the other guy and telling him that she is no longer seeing or talking to me, but has basically just been telling me that she is still seeing him because she is single and can do what she wants.... Then she tells me that the other guy is coming the following weekend.... We get into a fight .....she says that we shouldn't talk, but then messages me an hour later.....one of her best friends saw me on a date with another girl. When I saw my ex gf.....she was noticeably angry and wouldn't speak to me. You really do need to take a good, long, hard look at yourself in the mirror, and get a grip. She is treading all over you, and gets away with it because you let her. You need to salvage your dignity, go complete No Contact and cease letting this girl manipulate you in such a cavalier and cruel way. Link to post Share on other sites
An0nymiss666 Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 All I really had to see was "cheating on me the whole time." Even if it was ONCE that would end it for me, for good. Especially since this is an ongoing thing it sounds like she wants to manipulate or somehow control both situations. She is definitely treading all over you. Not to mention incredibly disrespectful. To both of you since she's lying to the other guy. It sounds like she's playing both of you, and you're better off avoiding the situation, as tough it might be. Bless you for wanting to make things work with a cheater....that takes some balls in my opinion. But she's so not worth it, my friend. Years ago I knew my ex was lying to me and I caught him cheating. For almost two years I stayed in that nightmare of a relationship. I could never trust him and I'm pretty sure he never stopped going behind my back. I know "every situation is unique" etc. but these types of things rarely end well. Link to post Share on other sites
Light Breeze Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 That's a deal breaker right there, buddy. Besides, why are you acting like a doormat? She's walking all over you and you're letting her get away with it. You should value yourself more, you know. Anyway why do you want someone back that's treating you like crap with impunity? My advice is to initiate NC and let it stay that way forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts