citygrrl Posted April 7, 2005 Posted April 7, 2005 I have been seeing this guy for about 3 months...a very awkward situation came about that I didn't quite know how to handle - we were both naked in his bed, and he asked me, " So what do you think of my penis?" and i said, "It's perfect!". So he said "No, you know what I mean...have you ever had bigger..longer...?" So I was stunned, not knowing why he would compare himself to other guys... So once again, I said" It's the perfect size!" He kept after me for an answer other than the ones I was giving him... so I said, "If it was any bigger, it would hurt". So I did not directly answer the question, and he seemed to give up and move on to another subject. Was I wrong?? Should I have (lied) and said, " Oh no, yours is BY FAR the biggest"?? I tried to answer that as diplomatically as possible... Why do guys seem to want to compare themselves size - wise to other guys??? It shouldn't matter. I don't ask him " Have you ever gone out with anyone whose breasts are bigger than mine"?? He is drop-dead gorgeous, sexy and very intelligent to boot - I just don't understand why the answer to this question was so important to him - he knows that he is amazing in bed, and that I want him 24/7, so I am very confused... He was in the process of moving the day after we had this conversation, and I have not talked to him in 3 days- I am afraid he is mad at me for not giving him the answer he wanted to hear. What would guys rather hear when it comes to this subject - the truth or an outright lie? And why is it so important to know if a woman has had bigger or longer, etc..?????
laRubiaBonita Posted April 7, 2005 Posted April 7, 2005 B/c instead of men asking their gf if their boobs are too small, they ask if their penis's are too small. it is a body issue, and many men base their worth on the size of their penis.
Linlin Posted April 7, 2005 Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by citygrrl so I said, "If it was any bigger, it would hurt". So I did not directly answer the question, and he seemed to give up and move on to another subject. What would guys rather hear when it comes to this subject - the truth or an outright lie? And why is it so important to know if a woman has had bigger or longer, etc..????? This is a sensitive subject for guys. Some seem to base their masulinity on this very fact. I think since they were little this has been droned into their heads that size is important. I think that you gave a great answer. It is one I have given. My FWB isn't very big. Just average is guess. We had this converstation about a month ago. Length is just as important as circumference. He needs to focus on the two of you together and the pleasure you both create. Rather than size. Of course, saying that, I do prefer a guy who is a bit bigger but I certainly wouldn't not have a realtionship with someone because they were average. Just as I am sure guys who like big boobs to look at wouldn't date a great girl who is smaller.
Fuzzy Chickens Posted April 8, 2005 Posted April 8, 2005 If any man is told that something about them is "perfect," they either assume you're lying or they have the world's biggest ego. NOBODY is perfect. Just tell him something stupid like "the head isn't purple enough" so he believes you and shuts up.
faux Posted April 8, 2005 Posted April 8, 2005 I would advise you to be honest. If a man asks such a question, the response he gets should be completely honest.
AngelEyz Posted April 8, 2005 Posted April 8, 2005 Be honest if you don't tell him what he wants to hear then he can get over it. What an ego he has!
Cecelius Posted April 8, 2005 Posted April 8, 2005 It's a little weird for him to ask that; most men who are with women who have some size comparison experience know that there's a decent chance she's had someone bigger. Most guys don't care. After all, are you going to only date girls who have had smaller guys? That's goofy
EC Posted April 8, 2005 Posted April 8, 2005 I hate this hang up that most guys have. My friend for instance went to a sex store with her bf to buy a vibrator....He was going to buy it for her... well they get to the wall and hes like well pick one out....So she took her time and looked around and picked one. Well she goes and shows it to him and he's like "THAT ONE" THAT ONE IS HUGE.IM NOT THAT BIG" Is that what you want, is that what you like? Then why are you with me if thats what you want? He got all mad and walked out of the store and didnt talk to her for like a week. ARE U SERIOUS C'mon...
Stylin22 Posted April 8, 2005 Posted April 8, 2005 Okay, here's a guys POV on it. I feel like I can shed a little bit of light on the situation, if it will help. You need to understand how guys are brought up. We are brought up to be able to handle anything, be the man of the house, and take care of what's ours. We are "doers", we love to have a goal and cross that finish line so that everyone can applaud us for being alive. Sounds pretty lame, but that's how it goes.... When it comes to the bedroom, that's when we tend to get a bit insecure about stuff. It's like the goal from "hell". Guys, read so much into this it's crazy. We see: your satisfaction or happiness is a result of our working it. So, we tend to be a bit sensitive about it, to the point where we worry about the size of our "manhood" even though we can't control it. As for the penis size stuff, I think alot of guys think that size is a huge thing. They want to stick out in your eyes. Be the best, above all others. And, when we aren't, it's an ego blow. I also think that there are girls out there that like size and some that don't. So, it depends on the relationship as well. I would think that the red flag isn't size, but the way he asked you about it. Is he gay? I would have to wonder, seriously...or maybe bi? If he is everything you say, maybe he's had his ego stroked way too much before you...Maybe he's spoiled. The story above about the guy and girl going to buy a vibe, that would be typical. It shows a guy's concern about not being able to do the job adequately. If this guy is asking you loaded questions though, expecting to hear what he wishes to hear, walk carefully...Insecurity can lead to some pretty bizarre stuff. I suggest, if he brings it up again, to point to the evidence. Say, "I orgasmed, so you know it must have been good." Every now and then, toss in "boy, that was good". That's all the stroking he needs (no pun intended)...
Author citygrrl Posted April 9, 2005 Author Posted April 9, 2005 So.....a question... how does that make him gay or bi? When I happened to bring up my hairdresser in a conversation, who happens to be gay, ,my guy says how he doesn't understand that whole thing, and that he is definitely into women only!!! I just thought it was strange how he could ask a question like that, and what he expected my answer to be - and how important that question was to him that he kept persisting... and if I didn't like him as much as I do, I would have almost liked to have said, "Well, I hate to break it to ya, but it's the smallest I've ever seen!" - not true, but would have been interesting - just to see the look on his face. How can guys ask a question like that and expect us to answer it???
moimeme Posted April 9, 2005 Posted April 9, 2005 I think it's their version of 'does this dress make me look fat' LOL
Stylin22 Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Well, it's good that you(being a straight girl) have found a man who does like women...that's 98% of the battle right there...Anyhow, I think the point is that the whole community is agreeing that it's weird. I see it as a red flag, not something to break it off for, but to keep in mind.
moimeme Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Why is this any wierder than a woman wondering if a guy thinks her boobs are big enough? I think it is extremely wierd to suspect every man is 'gay' for everything he does. It's ridiculous. We've had 775497385573453747 threads about 'is my penis big enough' - this guy asks his girl instead of us and all of a sudden that's 'gay'? CRIPES.
Author citygrrl Posted April 12, 2005 Author Posted April 12, 2005 I really don't think he is either gay or bi, but his question was a little "cocky" !!! I think if he had any insecurities in this department, he wouldn't have asked the way he did... now that I think about it, that question has has become a major turn-off!!!
Illusion24 Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 What does he care if you had bigger??? What should matter if you're enjoying it...If you felt it wasn't enough I'm sure you would have said something...right? That's so weird...I've never had a guy ask me that...Must be a deeper issue he is dealing with in his head!! When he ask you again say..."I've had better"... That will shut him up!!
HokeyReligions Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme I think it's their version of 'does this dress make me look fat' LOL Great analogy! citygrrl - can you just say "I don't know, I've never measured"? It is weird that he would ask that, but then again who knows what was going on in his head(s) at the time. Sounds like you handled it well, if I were caught offguard by that question I don't know how I would respond.
Cecelius Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 moimeme put it well, both times. I still think it's insecure and odd (maybe vain too since you said he was good looking). That said, how many times on this board does a guy get counseled to dump a girl because she voiced some insecurity? Rarely -- he gets told to be considerate. If you think it means he's got a weakness/insecurity, and that reduces his attractiveness, then dump him.
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