Eighty_nine Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 If the second one is very attractive she may have lots of options. Just beware that picking her could mean ending up alone.
SearchingForMyself Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Step aside for rocketman's ego. The only thing you sound like is a chump. Your grammar sucks, and I'd be willing to bet your iq is as small as your hamster sized testicles. Your "type", appeals to a very small demographic of women who aren't looking for substance. Precisely the type of women I avoid. As for the title, it was merely a hypothetical in the event that I happen to get the opportunity to sleep with both women. But since you're clearly too up your own ass to read or respond in relevant fashion, I'll be skipping your replies for the remainder of this thread, should you choose to fill it further. I was so pulling for you man, until I read your last two responses. Did you say you had a bad relationship? Gonna take a wild guess and assumed she dumped you. You come off as pretty immature from your last two posts. I also do not believe you're going to tell those girls you're seeing the both of them. While that would be the mature thing to do, it also hugely risks you losing them both, at least thats the way you see it. Your posts indicate that this is a huge ego boost for you. Youre in a position most men could dream of. Why would you risk that by telling them the truth when you could be banging two women at the same time and possibly add a third? Im not saying that is what youre actually doing, but as a guy, most men wouldnt ruin this opportunity, especially if they never had a chance at having it before. But dont treat these women as trophies of conquest. Despite the amazing sex they are still human. 1
katiegrl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Main reason I'm replying - your post highlights that men love to 'chase' or 'work' to get the woman. Many new texts and forums suggest men are cool with women doing the approaching or not making 'work' for the guy. I can't suggest which woman you choose suffice to say your gut is steering you towards the first one. Good luck I think many men "are" cool with it. Calvin doesn't speak for ALL men, now does he? No.
katiegrl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Rocketman, you're just jealous I've been on the internet chatting with babes all day. She makes me chase, doesn't offer sex on the 2nd date. I probably could've slept with her tonight, but I want it to be more of a challenge. What happens when you catch her and the chase is over? Will you still be interested? Your best guess. I have always wondered about this. I have always presumed that once the challenge and chase are over, and you're "in" a relationship, the guy loses interest and is off and running to his next challenge. Calvin...true..not true? If not true, please explain why. Thanks a bunch! As I said, I have always wondered about it. 1
Versacehottie Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 While I think it's fine to have sex with both as long as they know they are not exclusively dating you, my suggestion is not to have this go on too long. At some, relatively early point, you should make a choice of which girl you want to keep dating, otherwise it's a jerk move. Does that make sense? I guess what I'm saying is if each woman freely decides to have sex as her own decision knowing that you are dating others, well that's her choice. It's like exploring the possibility of relationship together for the both of you--well all three of you. Past a certain point where you have enough information to pick one, it's the right thing to do. Otherwise you are just leading them on. That encompasses the sex and dangling the possibility of a relationship in front of the one you will pass on. 1
minimariah Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Beyond the obvious of not scheduling dates on the same day, going to the same places in a week, or posting photos with either on facebook, are there any tips to make this go smoothly? make sure you wear a condom. STDs are so real.
alphamale Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Beyond the obvious of not scheduling dates on the same day, going to the same places in a week, or posting photos with either on facebook, are there any tips to make this go smoothly? yeah, buy your rubbers at costco
minimariah Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 If I didn't want kids, the one with a daughter already would be a very good match. She's affectionate, and considerate, but she has her daughter almost every day I'm off. She's cute, I'm definitely attracted to her, but she doesn't necessarily wow me, but we have very good chemistry. The other woman is easier to see schedule wise, and I feel like she's much more attractive than the women I normally date. I know looks aren't everything, but she's as close to my type as anyone I've ever been out with. i don't understand - what's the problem? you already know who you like better. dump the woman with a kid & move on. 1
SearchingForMyself Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 i don't understand - what's the problem? you already know who you like better. dump the woman with a kid & move on. Man logic...why risk it all with one when you can have two.
preraph Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I've been on the receiving end of this and I didn't like it much. You have to consider this a temporary thing and make sure both women understand you just started dating the other person and that she's new to you so that she at least understands you aren't cheating. Then she can decide whether to sleep with you or not. Meanwhile she can go date and sleep with other guys. At least that's how I handle situations like this. Don't take either of them somewhere the other will see you. That was what happened to me because of the "small world" I was part of. 1
alphamale Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I've been on the receiving end of this and I didn't like it much. You have to consider this a temporary thing and make sure both women understand you just started dating the other person and that she's new to you so that she at least understands you aren't cheating. Then she can decide whether to sleep with you or not. Meanwhile she can go date and sleep with other guys. At least that's how I handle situations like this. Don't take either of them somewhere the other will see you. That was what happened to me because of the "small world" I was part of. on the other hand if you want to sleep with both at the same time you must not let one know about the other... 1
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 i don't understand - what's the problem? you already know who you like better. dump the woman with a kid & move on. He's not going to dump the woman with the child (at least not yet) because he still wants to have sex with her while he enjoys "chasing" the other woman with whom he hasn't had sex with yet. When I read posts from guys like the OP, it makes me wonder if dating is all it's cracked up to be. . 4
katiegrl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I expect to get some flack for this, but I'm hoping to get some useful advice. I saw the first woman (34) for the third date, I slept over. We had sex. She's very affectionate, good gf material. I saw the second woman (30) for the first date Sunday night, she was very affectionate. She asked me out for a second date. Mexican this week. It seems possible that I may be able to sleep with both of them, which would be nice after the stress in the last relationship I had. Beyond the obvious of not scheduling dates on the same day, going to the same places in a week, or posting photos with either on facebook, are there any tips to make this go smoothly? The only risk I see, beyond what's been said already, is not gaining the clarity needed with respect to your feelings in order to ultimately make a decision to date only one. Let's say on a Monday you have a great date and sex with no. 1. You walk away thinking, wow I'm really into her, not thinking much about no. 2. On Wednesday you have a great date and sex with no. 2, walking away feeling you are totally into "her" and not thinking much about no. 1. This leaves you feeling ambivalent about BOTH and unable to make a decision. You are essentially giving little bits and pieces of yourself to both, instead of all of yourself to one. It creates a certain distance between you and each girl, which each will no doubt sense and not like. You run the risk of losing both girls as a result. Hope that makes sense! 1
SearchingForMyself Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 He's not going to dump the woman with the child (at least not yet) because he still wants to have sex with her while he enjoys "chasing" the other woman with whom he hasn't had sex with yet. When I read posts from guys like the OP, it makes me wonder if dating is all it's cracked up to be. . Im glad someone else can see through this guys bs. The one he is screwing is his safe girl hes not really into while he tries to land the other one. I could tell you not all guys are like that, but that wont make you believe me because of what guys are very capable of. OP isnt ready for a mature relationship. It might end up hurting the women hes with. Dating is a minefield, but I dont mind navigating the really sucky parts for a chance at getting to know someone who isnt like the rest. You got a good head on your shoulders, gamerchick. 1
SearchingForMyself Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 The only risk I see, beyond what's been said already, is not gaining the clarity needed with respect to your feelings in order to ultimately make a decision to date only one. Let's say on a Monday you have a great date and sex with no. 1. You walk away thinking, wow I'm really into her, not thinking much about no. 2. On Wednesday you have a great date and sex with no. 2, walking away feeling you are totally into "her" and not thinking much about no. 1. This leaves you feeling ambivalent about BOTH and unable to make a decision. You are essentially giving little bits and pieces of yourself to both, instead of all of yourself to one. It creates a certain distance between you and each girl, which each will no doubt sense and not like. You run the risk of losing both girls as a result. Hope that makes sense! Ladies, if you think that is this dude's endgoal, then I have a bridge in San Fran to sell you. I notice that some of the women here are thinking that there is an emotional component to this guy's predicament, and that is something that I have noticed in some women. But from a guy's perspective, he just wants to see which woman he can securely sex with the most. I don't really have a feel that this guy is really into either of them. But I could be wrong. 3
preraph Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 on the other hand if you want to sleep with both at the same time you must not let one know about the other... Yeah, you shouldn't be talking about it, but eventually the thing will implode because one or the other women will want to know why things aren't moving to exclusivity. That's why I said it should be considered a temporary situation. 1
katiegrl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Ladies, if you think that is this dude's endgoal, then I have a bridge in San Fran to sell you. I notice that some of the women here are thinking that there is an emotional component to this guy's predicament, and that is something that I have noticed in some women. But from a guy's perspective, he just wants to see which woman he can securely sex with the most. I don't really have a feel that this guy is really into either of them. But I could be wrong. I refer you to the OP's post no. 18. He talks about choosing "one" although he acknowledged that both would make a good "girlfriend." Hence the reason I presumed he "was" ultimately hoping to eventually choose one. 1
alphamale Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Yeah, you shouldn't be talking about it, but eventually the thing will implode because one or the other women will want to know why things aren't moving to exclusivity. That's why I said it should be considered a temporary situation. fair enough
katiegrl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 I refer you to the OP's post no. 18. He talks about choosing "one" although he acknowledged that both would make a good "girlfriend." Hence the reason I presumed he "was" ultimately hoping to eventually choose one. ^^...hoping to eventually choose one to pursue a relationship with...beyond just the sex. But I could be wrong too.
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Im glad someone else can see through this guys bs. The one he is screwing is his safe girl hes not really into while he tries to land the other one. I could tell you not all guys are like that, but that wont make you believe me because of what guys are very capable of. OP isnt ready for a mature relationship. It might end up hurting the women hes with. Dating is a minefield, but I dont mind navigating the really sucky parts for a chance at getting to know someone who isnt like the rest. You got a good head on your shoulders, gamerchick. Yeah, I realize that not all guys are like that...but um, I'm starting to see that most guys ARE like the OP; and that doesn't bode well for my chances at finding a decent sweet guy who isn't a player. Dating absolutely IS a minefield! I didn't mind navigating through all of the muck at first...but, after a few months of doing so, it's starting to lose it's appeal. Unless a really special guy manifests into my life, I think I'm just going to stop dating for a while and concentrate on my work and the other parts of my life that are going well for me. As for the compliment, backatcha, Searching. . 1
preraph Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 My inner dialogue, when I found myself in this situation, wasn't "The guy is cheating." It was "The guy doesn't have very good taste if he finds me and this other women comparable." I have a high enough opinion of myself that I need a guy to be able to be focused on me for as long as it takes to get to know me better. If he can't do that, he's fishing in shallow waters, as far as I'm concerned and I lose respect for him for that. I prefer a guy recognize I'm unique and think I'm great for as long as it lasts and hopefully years beyond, even if it doesn't work out in a conventional way. If they don't, they just don't deserve me and don't get me. I can accept if they are seeing a woman I can have respect for in some way, but to me there's nothing more insulting than being juggled with a woman who's got nothing going for her upstairs. 3
Gcgurl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 It's never nice to string people along when they see the possibility of a relationship but it seems to be the way of modern dating. The only rule .... Be as open and honest with both women as possible. They can then protect themselves from getting hurt. 1
SearchingForMyself Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Yeah, I realize that not all guys are like that...but um, I'm starting to see that most guys ARE like the OP; and that doesn't bode well for my chances at finding a decent sweet guy who isn't a player. Dating absolutely IS a minefield! I didn't mind navigating through all of the muck at first...but, after a few months of doing so, it's starting to lose it's appeal. Unless a really special guy manifests into my life, I think I'm just going to stop dating for a while and concentrate on my work and the other parts of my life that are going well for me. As for the compliment, backatcha, Searching. . I removed myself from the dating game because the muck keeps messing up my shoes, lol. But your compliment gives me hope. But sadly, my future Mrs. will have to wait, for right now I want to improve myself so I can give her my best. Even if we don't last, she should get that, at least. I don't mind waiting for a few years. Ive been through years of bad experiences, I can wait. I got other things to keep me occupied. I'm black so by the time im 30, Ill still look 20. Hahahaha. I got my call of duty, my guitar, my bike, and my personally written novels and blog to keep me happy. Now all Ill need is some martial arts classes and a gym and Im set. #nomorecrazies
Author CalvinM Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 I was so pulling for you man, until I read your last two responses. Did you say you had a bad relationship? Gonna take a wild guess and assumed she dumped you. You come off as pretty immature from your last two posts. I also do not believe you're going to tell those girls you're seeing the both of them. While that would be the mature thing to do, it also hugely risks you losing them both, at least thats the way you see it. Your posts indicate that this is a huge ego boost for you. Youre in a position most men could dream of. Why would you risk that by telling them the truth when you could be banging two women at the same time and possibly add a third? Im not saying that is what youre actually doing, but as a guy, most men wouldnt ruin this opportunity, especially if they never had a chance at having it before. But dont treat these women as trophies of conquest. Despite the amazing sex they are still human. Grow a pair. I used a pop culture line from a movie (Napolean Dynamite) to poke fun at rocketman's petty response, and he launched into an attack that could only be described as petty and insecure. My previous relation was very loving and one of the best relationships I've ever had. I was completely loyal to her. If we had been living in the same city, I probably would've married her. Anyway, to answer your question, I don't view either woman like a trophy. I wasn't raised that way.
katiegrl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Calvin, would you be so kind as to respond to my post no. 29? I am so very curious about this... Thanks a bunch!
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