CalvinM Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 I expect to get some flack for this, but I'm hoping to get some useful advice. I saw the first woman (34) for the third date, I slept over. We had sex. She's very affectionate, good gf material. I saw the second woman (30) for the first date Sunday night, she was very affectionate. She asked me out for a second date. Mexican this week. It seems possible that I may be able to sleep with both of them, which would be nice after the stress in the last relationship I had. Beyond the obvious of not scheduling dates on the same day, going to the same places in a week, or posting photos with either on facebook, are there any tips to make this go smoothly?
lollipopspot Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 It's fine, as long as you're very clear with them that you are not exclusively dating them. Sometimes people think that having sex makes them exclusive. Be explicit. 22
h0000 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 agreed you should tell them both. or just become a douche 8
mightycpa Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 I expect to get some flack for this, but I'm hoping to get some useful advice. I saw the first woman (34) for the third date, I slept over. We had sex. She's very affectionate, good gf material. I saw the second woman (30) for the first date Sunday night, she was very affectionate. She asked me out for a second date. Mexican this week. It seems possible that I may be able to sleep with both of them, which would be nice after the stress in the last relationship I had. Beyond the obvious of not scheduling dates on the same day, going to the same places in a week, or posting photos with either on facebook, are there any tips to make this go smoothly? Honestly, my advice would be to put a third one into your "sales funnel" and then keep the two "best" ones (whatever that means to you), drop the third, and rinse, lather, repeat until you find one you like. Then grab her. I don't think it will take too long. What do they say? Make hay while the sun shines! The quality of your relationships will rise immensely if you do this because a) you will be comparison shopping and b) you will be learning a great deal faster about what you like, what you don't and how to keep a relationship good and fresh and c) your confidence will rise and your demeanor and personality will reflect this, making you more attractive Just don't get cocky, and as the ladies have pointed out, be honorable. Not everybody will be up for being part of this. That's fine, because there are plenty who will. You might just meet some very extraordinary people, and you might just meet some lifetime friends along the way. 5
guest569 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Tell them both that you are screwing others, its unfair otherwise. 7
Gary S Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Whatever you do, don't offer information that you are dating another girl. And don't call them by the wrong name And I hope you are only doing this circular dating temporarily to get to know them so you can choose one. If not, shame on you 1
Els Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 The best way to make things go smoothly is to be honest. I don't necessarily mean tell them about the other girl - it's none of their business when you're not in a R with them - but clarify with both of them that you are only dating casually and not exclusively. That way, you can really do whatever you like (even going to the same places if that's your thing!) and you should be fine. 7
Author CalvinM Posted March 4, 2015 Author Posted March 4, 2015 Solid advice, I was expecting a **** storm here, but it's been very infirmative.
guest569 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 If they're both aware and agree on the setup then you cant go wrong. 2
planb1973 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 I just went through the same situation. My advice, let them know you are dating others for now. And by all means don't let them both get attached to you because you are going to hurt one of them eventually which is hard to live with. It can be a great way to solidify what you really want, and having options is a huge ego boost. Unfortunately for me I waited too long to make a decision and lost the one I was most compatible with. I hurt her badly and now feel like a jerk. So be prepared. 1
Toodaloo Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Solid advice, I was expecting a **** storm here, but it's been very infirmative. Your setting yourself up for that if your not careful and honest so no need for us to pitch in as well... You think one woman was bad enough now you have two on the go! Be careful here... very careful... there is a very good reason why people advise one at a time!
redglass Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 If you're honest with these women, sleeping with them both is fine in theory. But I bet you it ends up ugly. I give it three weeks before one or the other - or both - hints towards exclusivity and you end up in a pile of drama. 1
Otter2569 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Red is onto something here - It all sounds good but it's easier said than done. Dude, if this is what you want, be honest and go for it. Some woman will be fine with it and some will not. I think the key is to let them know that you enjoy being with them but you are not ready for a relationship at this time.
central Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 What the others have said, plus of course use condoms. I have dated several women and had sex with all of them, with all of them knowing we weren't exclusive (and often with them knowing I was having sex with others). I would also assume that they may be dating and having sex with other men, too, whether or not they say anything about it. 2
Maleficent Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 I expect to get some flack for this, but I'm hoping to get some useful advice. I saw the first woman (34) for the third date, I slept over. We had sex. She's very affectionate, good gf material. I saw the second woman (30) for the first date Sunday night, she was very affectionate. She asked me out for a second date. Mexican this week. It seems possible that I may be able to sleep with both of them, which would be nice after the stress in the last relationship I had. Beyond the obvious of not scheduling dates on the same day, going to the same places in a week, or posting photos with either on facebook, are there any tips to make this go smoothly? Be straight with both of them that you are seeing and sleeping with other women. There is no other way to do this. 1
lgspot Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Enjoy your good fortune!!!! But, don't get upset if they are sleeping with two or twenty guys each.... What's good for the goose, etc...etc...etc...:bunny: 2
PinkInTheLimo Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 I think that if you had real feelings for one of them you simply could not sleep with both of them. It would simply not be in line with your emotion. Your story is one of the reasons I will never sleep with a guy on the third date. Way too early. I first want a romantic emotional bond to develop which is exclusive and only then sex is possible. Plus I will not sleep with a guy before he has been tested for STDs and shows me the results. And I will do the same thing of course. I guess that might be too much of a hurdle for a lot of guys which is not bad because it will be a good filter. 2
Author CalvinM Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 I've been seeing two women now for a couple weeks, and they know about each other. I've only slept with one of them, but the second one invited me over to dinner this coming Tuesday, with the offer for me to stay over if I'd like. I'm leaning towards the second woman (30), based on the fact that we have a more compatible work schedule, similar income levels and she's a total knockout. In short, she makes me work for everything, and I enjoy the chase. She also wants kids fairly soon, so do I. The first woman (34) already has a daughter and has said she's comfortable not having any more kids, she makes a lot more money than I do, and is very eager to please me, which is sweet, but also lowers my interest level a bit. I know both woman would be really good gfs, but I'd be sacrificing less with the second, since she's my ideal partner. Looking for suggestions on how to proceed, sooner the better.
Perrier Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Main reason I'm replying - your post highlights that men love to 'chase' or 'work' to get the woman. Many new texts and forums suggest men are cool with women doing the approaching or not making 'work' for the guy. I can't suggest which woman you choose suffice to say your gut is steering you towards the first one. Good luck
Buddhist Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 So dump the one you've slept with already. Maybe even tell her she's not your ideal partner and the other one is totally hot. 1
rocketman122 Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 interest level and attraction is everything in the beginning. I have a feeling the first will make a poodle out of you. the second doesnt want children so theres not much to talk about here. I would have gone for the 2nd one but my needs in a relationship is different than yours. for you, the first seems ok....for now. but wth does "she makes me work for everything" mean? you didnt write anything about her making you work. personally I hate multidaters and I hope they both know youre dating others, otherwise, I hope they both dump you. 1
Author CalvinM Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 Rocketman, you're just jealous I've been on the internet chatting with babes all day. She makes me chase, doesn't offer sex on the 2nd date. I probably could've slept with her tonight, but I want it to be more of a challenge. 1
Author CalvinM Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 If I didn't want kids, the one with a daughter already would be a very good match. She's affectionate, and considerate, but she has her daughter almost every day I'm off. She's cute, I'm definitely attracted to her, but she doesn't necessarily wow me, but we have very good chemistry. The other woman is easier to see schedule wise, and I feel like she's much more attractive than the women I normally date. I know looks aren't everything, but she's as close to my type as anyone I've ever been out with.
rocketman122 Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 (edited) Rocketman, you're just jealous I've been on the internet chatting with babes all day. She makes me chase, doesn't offer sex on the 2nd date. I probably could've slept with her tonight, but I want it to be more of a challenge. There is no jealousy. In looks dept i put u in my back pocket. People here have seen my picture I had in my profile. Tall Hardcore bodybilder. I get more than enough options. Its not thE offers. Its that I have ethics. Something I can tell u Clearly lack. I highly doubt you told the women of the other and youre a liar as well since your post said sleepibg with two women then u say u only slept with one and u see I pay attention to the small details and u have mo credebility. If i was one of the womens brothers and found out they slept with my sister while being with another and not telling her. Id come for that guy. Think twice before you think with your tiny timmy. Youre messing with peoples emotions and its all good as long as they both know.or u can be douche like was said. Which i think is the case. I hope both dump u Edited March 8, 2015 by rocketman122
Author CalvinM Posted March 8, 2015 Author Posted March 8, 2015 (edited) Step aside for rocketman's ego. The only thing you sound like is a chump. Your grammar sucks, and I'd be willing to bet your iq is as small as your hamster sized testicles. Your "type", appeals to a very small demographic of women who aren't looking for substance. Precisely the type of women I avoid. As for the title, it was merely a hypothetical in the event that I happen to get the opportunity to sleep with both women. But since you're clearly too up your own ass to read or respond in relevant fashion, I'll be skipping your replies for the remainder of this thread, should you choose to fill it further. Edited March 8, 2015 by CalvinM 2
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