LooperDooper Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 I know this relationship wasn't perfect but yet I wanted to fight through. I've gone NC as close as possible to my situation because we see each other every day. Today I'm having a bad day. How do I stop having hope or thinking that NC will bring her close to me, even though I know this relationship isn't the one for me. I mean I think if we go back, things obviously might not be as great as I expect or hope them to be. But how do I get rid of this? I'm tempted to talk to her but I think I have enough will power not to, and yet my mind goes to thinking that NC will bring her back to me. I'm in a swirl of emotions and thoughts. No idea how to work this out.
NC-Thomas Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Hey Looper, It was good to see you write that topic " how to start a damn good day!". Gave me a short boost. But yes, we all do have these bad days. Up's and downs. Emotions tend to flucuate, its like the weather, it can rain for a few days, but no matter what, the sun will return! I think your sun will also return. Hope, emotions, thoughts are like a bruise. A big fatt bruise needs healing, it will turn red, blue, yellow, brown... Thats like healing from a breakup, denial, hope, anger, grief and acceptance. This might all sound stupid, maybe because it's late and I got me a few beers. But still, accept it as a natural process. There is no QUICK FIX! (I already tried, even made a thread a year ago about this). I do have some tips for you that work for me: - focus on you - look at the bad things in her and RS as a whole - don't talk yourself down, you are but human and fallable. So be mild! NC will pay off sooner or later! It's hard i know, and yes I still hope she will come back. But hey, I'm a good person and I deserve some good lovin. 5
xinaxxsdertf Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 I'm in the exact same predicament as you man. the last few days have been bad days for me because she texted me the other day which gave me hope even though i didnt break NC. I think for now, all we can do is wait it out and hope NC will heal us. Obviously trying to do things for yourself while in NC. And eventually the time apart will just help us move on as more and more weeks go past, they will fade into a memory. why do u see each other every day? Maybe just dont go out of your way to see or talk to her and keep to yourself. My heart always hopes that NC will bring my ex back to me too but im trying to convince myself to use NC to heal and move on. Im trying to do anything and everything to completely avoid my ex because i miss her so much and dont want to hear or see anything about her. really no contact is all we can do right now. Try new things also, and go out of your comfort zone every now and then, it helps get your mind off her. I usually like being lazy on days off so instead i try go do things with friends even when im too tired. It just helps consume my time more so im not sitting at home thinking about her.
Elsa281 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Dear looper, I was in your shoes.. I know how difficult this is. In my story we got back together, and more than a year later we broke up again, but now we don't see each other anymore, and it is much easier for me than it was the first time we broke up. I think the right thing to do is to surround yourself with good people, especially in the specific environment you guys share, and try and focus on having fun with them, caring about them and learning from them. It WILL get better with time, and you will get used to the sight of her. It hurts like hell, but you can use the situation to your advantage; don't forget that she sees you everyday as well, and she will be there watching when you'll feel amazing. Of course that shouldn't be all about her, but we are all humans, and the best revenge is moving on and enjoying your life. Hopefully you'll get what you want and what you deserve...
Author LooperDooper Posted March 4, 2015 Author Posted March 4, 2015 Dear looper, I was in your shoes.. I know how difficult this is. In my story we got back together, and more than a year later we broke up again, but now we don't see each other anymore, and it is much easier for me than it was the first time we broke up. I think the right thing to do is to surround yourself with good people, especially in the specific environment you guys share, and try and focus on having fun with them, caring about them and learning from them. It WILL get better with time, and you will get used to the sight of her. It hurts like hell, but you can use the situation to your advantage; don't forget that she sees you everyday as well, and she will be there watching when you'll feel amazing. Of course that shouldn't be all about her, but we are all humans, and the best revenge is moving on and enjoying your life. Hopefully you'll get what you want and what you deserve... I broke NC today for my own good, I knew I had to get closure and I'm glad I did it. I did it in an effort to understand why it didn't work out and in the process we ended up talking about how right now isn't the moment, although I said I can't talk about the future. However, she said she had no hope in things ever changing. You might think it makes me feel worse, in fact it was a reality check. I had hope with NC now I see things much clearer and I think I need to approach my recovery differently. I asked her to please steer as away from my life as she could, including messages and during class (our university puts the entire class together for certain programs like mine). Although breaking NC isn't good for the heart, it helped me release that sense of hope. Now I do mean it when I say certain people aren't worth the hearts we have and even though I never did anything to her, she says it just didn't work out. Although she will probably never admit it, I think one day down the line she might think "what if" she had acted differently with me. "Do not scorn a weak cub, for he may become the brutal tiger" -Mongolian Proverb Move on people, NC should not be meant for false hope. And if you have any, break NC and bring yourself down to earth, they aren't worth it. If anybody would like to vent privately every now and then like me and not bother the rest of LS community, gimme a shout.
AprilTears Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Hey Looper, It was good to see you write that topic " how to start a damn good day!". Gave me a short boost. But yes, we all do have these bad days. Up's and downs. Emotions tend to flucuate, its like the weather, it can rain for a few days, but no matter what, the sun will return! I think your sun will also return. Hope, emotions, thoughts are like a bruise. A big fatt bruise needs healing, it will turn red, blue, yellow, brown... Thats like healing from a breakup, denial, hope, anger, grief and acceptance. This might all sound stupid, maybe because it's late and I got me a few beers. But still, accept it as a natural process. There is no QUICK FIX! (I already tried, even made a thread a year ago about this). I do have some tips for you that work for me: - focus on you - look at the bad things in her and RS as a whole - don't talk yourself down, you are but human and fallable. So be mild! NC will pay off sooner or later! It's hard i know, and yes I still hope she will come back. But hey, I'm a good person and I deserve some good lovin. Hilarious! And sound advice. Well done.
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