writergal Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 OP from everything that you've posted about him and the way he treats you, and how you respond to his treatment of you; I think you're in a dysfunctional, friends-with-benefits relationship. It's definitely not a normal, healthy relationship. What you ultimately decide to do is up to you. Do you know what you want from a man in a relationship yet? Until you have a strong, clear, sense of what a normal, healthy, functional, romantic relationship looks like, then you will be able to judge the men who come into your life against that paradigm. If they don't fit the criteria, then you dump them until you find the one that does.
Gary S Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 (edited) Well, based on the fact that she said she only likes him..... and I asked her if she loved him and she did not respond.... perhaps she's just an attention seeker. I mean, who cares if you don't love the guy, if your heart is not in it? Edited March 5, 2015 by Gary S
Author annadean Posted March 5, 2015 Author Posted March 5, 2015 Well, based on the fact that she said she only likes him..... and I asked her if she loved him and she did not respond.... perhaps she's just an attention seeker. I mean, who cares if you don't love the guy, if your heart is not in it? I don't like that accusation. I did respond when you asked if I love him, and I'll copy and paste it from the first page here: "I've grown to like him more and more the longer I've been with him, which usually happens for me. I know some people start to lose interest, but my interest always tends to increase. I don't love him right now, but I do really like him. There's just kind of something that makes me wonder about the relationship, though. When he met my friends, they told me afterward that his body language indicated he didn't seem to really care about me. But I mean, his texts and wanting to see me indicate otherwise to me." I have to say I've never been in love--or maybe I have and just don't know it yet. I do like him, and I do care about him. How does that make me an attention seeker? OP from everything that you've posted about him and the way he treats you, and how you respond to his treatment of you; I think you're in a dysfunctional, friends-with-benefits relationship. It's definitely not a normal, healthy relationship. What you ultimately decide to do is up to you. Do you know what you want from a man in a relationship yet? Until you have a strong, clear, sense of what a normal, healthy, functional, romantic relationship looks like, then you will be able to judge the men who come into your life against that paradigm. If they don't fit the criteria, then you dump them until you find the one that does. Thank you for this. It makes a lot of sense. I have decided I should break it off with him. I'm just left with kind of a guilty a feeling of whether or not I did something wrong or wasn't enough for him. If I had been more open or loving, would our relationship be different? These things are running through my mind. It was not "just a joke." He's a passive-aggressive PITA jagoff. Repeatedly making offensive jokes to people is NOT ACCEPTABLE; that is not "life of the party." Does he use racial slurs? I bet he does. And if people make repeated jokes at my expense, I cut them off. Life is too short to put up with a-holes. He sounds like he has the maturity level of a 15-year old. Man, at 29, I wonder if he'll EVER mature...Why do so many people like his company and why does he get away with being the way he is if he comes across as an offensive jerk? I fell for it, and just reading back through this thread, on paper, he sounds horrible. Is it his confidence that charms everyone?
1040 Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 (edited) Why do so many people like his company and why does he get away with being the way he is if he comes across as an offensive jerk? I fell for it, and just reading back through this thread, on paper, he sounds horrible. Is it his confidence that charms everyone? Asking me to explain female behavior is a fool's errand. Y'all are black boxes to me most of the time. I do know, however, the old cliche that many women are attracted to jerks is true. I remember in high school how girls kept getting hurt by these guys and I was always so puzzled, because every single guy in school knew who every a-hole was. It was totally obvious to us, like being able to distinguish between red and blue. The girls were oblivious and had to get burned and even then they usually did not understand. IME, women have a very hard time distinguishing between confidence and arrogance ****tiness in men, and it's the source of most of their problems. Edited March 5, 2015 by 1040
Author annadean Posted March 6, 2015 Author Posted March 6, 2015 Asking me to explain female behavior is a fool's errand. Y'all are black boxes to me most of the time. I do know, however, the old cliche that many women are attracted to jerks is true. I remember in high school how girls kept getting hurt by these guys and I was always so puzzled, because every single guy in school knew who every a-hole was. It was totally obvious to us, like being able to distinguish between red and blue. The girls were oblivious and had to get burned and even then they usually did not understand. IME, women have a very hard time distinguishing between confidence and arrogance ****tiness in men, and it's the source of most of their problems. Haha, understood. With that question, I wasn't specifically referring to women. A lot of guys love hanging out with him, and I've realized some of them even emulate themselves after him. It's weird, like he has some sort of a hold on everyone he meets--especially the fun-loving "party" crowd.
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