Author MightyHeracross Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 I am really glad that barcode88 had success but that is exactly the kind of comment that would make me stop talking to a guy. The mere mention of sex in that context by someone I hadn't met yet who was only on a dating site, would cause me to reply. "How vulgar. We're on completely different pages. Good luck finding what you seek but I'm not her." You have to understand the person you are talking to when you make sexual comments. You don't know what will upset a stranger. I completely agree with you. If I were in the girls shoes, I'd be incredibly creeped out by this Link to post Share on other sites
Author MightyHeracross Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 Yeah I don't think I'd be ballsy enough to deliver that one IRL unless I had good rapport with the person on the receiving end lol. Haha exactly! I couldn't say it to a stranger... Not even online Link to post Share on other sites
Author MightyHeracross Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 I think just regular talking and being friendly is ok. Laughing, smiling. "I like your top is kind of perverted" I remember this old man at the grocery store told me he liked my top. I was grossed out. And it came off as perverted. Well I'd be creeped out to if it were a real old guy haha, but if it were someone in your age range (I'm kind of assuming everyone on here is in college/high school/grad school), would you be creeped out? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MightyHeracross Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 Stay away from talking about sex. Even the young ladies prefer a gentleman. But if you are under 25 you can cuss, lol Watch Carry Grant in the movies To Catch a Thief and Charade. Watch how he banters with the ladies but he has class, is gracious, and a gentleman. I've never seen the movie, but I am always a gentleman. I pride myself on it. I don't treat women or anyone- including guys - for that matter) as objects, I really try to respect everyone Link to post Share on other sites
Author MightyHeracross Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 Stay away from talking about sex. Even the young ladies prefer a gentleman. But if you are under 25 you can cuss, lol Watch Carry Grant in the movies To Catch a Thief and Charade. Watch how he banters with the ladies but he has class, is gracious, and a gentleman. I've never seen the movie, but I am always a gentleman. I pride myself on it. I don't treat women or anyone- including guys - for that matter) as objects, I really try to respect everyone Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 LongBeach00 Even though I wasn't there I bet there was something about the old guy's body language, how his eyes looked, his facial expression something beyond the mere words of the compliment that made you creeped out. A plain sincere compliment would not have had the same effect. It's all in the context. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
runitonce Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Its flirting if women consider you attractive & its creepy if they dont. Glad we cleared that up Women on here are cherry picking the examples of guys who did something spontaneous that led to them "dating for 2.5years" because its convenient for their narrative. Yet, there are likely dozens of examples of guys being spontaneous with these same women only to be completely ignored or looked at like they've got 2 heads...because they werent good looking. Women treat these interactions as so insignificant that they dont even register them Obviously behaviour should be relative to your environment. But a good looking guy can often get away with saying & doing outrageous things to/with a random woman - especially in a nightclub - that would get an ugly man slapped or worse. Walking up behind a woman on the dancefloor & grinding with her can lead to her kissing your face off, or throwing her drink over you, depending on how attractive you are (as well as other variables). Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 There are levels to flirting. 1. showing interest from afar. 2. making someone feel good about themselves through a compliment, and leaving 3. making someone feel good about you, by talking sincerely with them after making them feel good about themselves 4. adding sexual innuendo to raise the temperature of the interaction If you skip right to 4 or go beyond with direct sexual comments, that becomes crude and perhaps creepy - it depends on the circumstances. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Women on here are cherry picking the examples of guys who did something spontaneous that led to them "dating for 2.5years" because its convenient for their narrative. Yet, there are likely dozens of examples of guys being spontaneous with these same women only to be completely ignored or looked at like they've got 2 heads...because they werent good looking. Women treat these interactions as so insignificant that they dont even register them Not every flirtation turns into anything more than a fun moment. My point in sharing those experiences was to show the OP that there can be long term positives. But even the guy who flirted with me last week at the gas station made me smile in that moment. I'm certainly not leaving my husband for him. The interaction did not change my life but it wasn't creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MightyHeracross Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 Its flirting if women consider you attractive & its creepy if they dont. Glad we cleared that up Women on here are cherry picking the examples of guys who did something spontaneous that led to them "dating for 2.5years" because its convenient for their narrative. Yet, there are likely dozens of examples of guys being spontaneous with these same women only to be completely ignored or looked at like they've got 2 heads...because they werent good looking. Women treat these interactions as so insignificant that they dont even register them Obviously behaviour should be relative to your environment. But a good looking guy can often get away with saying & doing outrageous things to/with a random woman - especially in a nightclub - that would get an ugly man slapped or worse. Walking up behind a woman on the dancefloor & grinding with her can lead to her kissing your face off, or throwing her drink over you, depending on how attractive you are (as well as other variables). That's kind of what I thought. So basically it's trial and error to see if the girl finds you attractive then? I mean, if I was in a girls shoes when a guy did something spontaneous, I would slap him, tell him off, or anything like that. I would just play along until the conversation ended. Then after the conversation ended, if I still didn't have any interest, then I just wouldn't meet him again after the fact. Maybe I'm just friendly, but I'd assume this is how most people would respond as well Link to post Share on other sites
Author MightyHeracross Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 There are levels to flirting. 1. showing interest from afar. 2. making someone feel good about themselves through a compliment, and leaving 3. making someone feel good about you, by talking sincerely with them after making them feel good about themselves 4. adding sexual innuendo to raise the temperature of the interaction If you skip right to 4 or go beyond with direct sexual comments, that becomes crude and perhaps creepy - it depends on the circumstances. So I'm kind of assuming 1-3 are to be applied to strangers, while 4 is for someone you're already involved with? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MightyHeracross Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 Not every flirtation turns into anything more than a fun moment. My point in sharing those experiences was to show the OP that there can be long term positives. But even the guy who flirted with me last week at the gas station made me smile in that moment. I'm certainly not leaving my husband for him. The interaction did not change my life but it wasn't creepy. Right, I understand it's not a magic formula like spontaneous comment=girlfriend. I with it was that easy but it's obviously not. I do like hearing about all the random comments people make and what happens (good or bad results) because they are good lessons! Link to post Share on other sites
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