NYC-BigKat Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 Yea I feel a little guilty since I'm spoiling this girl I met 2 weeks ago at a fashion show I was at with my coworker. She's 25 & so so pretty & sexy & I know she got interested in me cause of my job & money but she wont admit it though. She keeps saying its cause I'm kind & sweet & she never met a guy like me & all her exes was abusive jerks that used her. Is this true? Um... I wanna kiss her so bad but she put it off a few times so I got annoyed & was gonna drop her but she begged me to be patient with her cause of her past. Should I? She just text me to go to a movie tonight & says she thought about me all day. Does she sound genuine? Should I take her & make another move? If she rejects again, should I stop seeing her? I don't wanna keep wasting time with no payoff u know.
Moy Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 Yea I feel a little guilty since I'm spoiling this girl I met 2 weeks ago at a fashion show I was at with my coworker. She's 25 & so so pretty & sexy & I know she got interested in me cause of my job & money but she wont admit it though. She keeps saying its cause I'm kind & sweet & she never met a guy like me & all her exes was abusive jerks that used her. Is this true? Um... I wanna kiss her so bad but she put it off a few times so I got annoyed & was gonna drop her but she begged me to be patient with her cause of her past. Should I? She just text me to go to a movie tonight & says she thought about me all day. Does she sound genuine? Should I take her & make another move? If she rejects again, should I stop seeing her? I don't wanna keep wasting time with no payoff u know. She begged you to keep seeing her because of your ca$h. She wants to go to a movie tonight? Let me guess, it's going to be on your dollar, right? TL - DR: Hot girl meets naive yet affluent guy and plays him like a fiddle for his money. She won't even kiss you? Next this one and move on..........and don't throw your money around with the next one!!!
redglass Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) This thread is just a bombardment of questions - and how can we know the answers when you barely know this girl yourself?! However, first-off, how do you know she only got interested in you because of your money? What indicated this? I'm not sure I get the money-crazy-user vibe at the moment. She may well be a user, but what has actually happened to indicate this? How many dates have you had? When you try to kiss her, are you being pushy? Some women don't like to jump in too fast. You never know, she may have had a difficult past with some difficult guys. The point is, there isn't enough to go on at this point. You could be being paranoid, or she may be a gold digger. So she wants to see a film... She isn't asking you to take her to the Ritz. If you want to test your money theory, split the cost of the tickets. Why don't you just go with the date and try to enjoy it? Edited March 3, 2015 by redglass 3
katiegrl Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 You say you are "spoiling" her...how so? If you are buying her things, giving her money, taking her out to expensive restaurants, stop doing that. You want to know if she genuinely likes you and is not using you? Stop spending money on her. Your time? Yes. Money? No. Take her out but not too expensive. Plan dates that don't cost much. If she sticks around, she likes you for YOU and not your money. If she doesn't...good riddance. You can't buy love.. Love doesn't work that way. 4
Shining One Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 This sounds very similar to what I went through a couple years back. I took the bait and I was patient. 6 months later, I find out she was sleeping with someone else for most of that time. I would take her out, bring her home, then she would call him over after I dropped her off. Don't be an idiot like I was. Close your wallet and see if she sticks around. If you're not yet worthy of her affection, then she is not yet worthy of your generosity. 4
Mr.D.E.B.T. Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 I'll take your word on "spoiling her" and suggest that you stop and see what happens. You seem like you want to sleep with this girl more than anything else, is that why you are spoiling her? What else about her even interest you? Her previous relationships were with a lot of creeps, so what made her go for your type all of a sudden, or are you a future creep too? I just hope for your sake, you are being honest about your intentions and can honestly see hers.
Lernaean_Hydra Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 You haven't even kissed her, in fact she got "annoyed" when you even tried yet she lets you keep spending money on her.......and you keep doing it?? all her exes was abusive jerks that used her. Jesus.....I've seen smaller red flags flying over the Kremlin... Does she sound genuine?Nope. OP, stop spending money on her immediately and see how "sweet" and "nice" she thinks you are then. 2
MissBee Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 Yea I feel a little guilty since I'm spoiling this girl I met 2 weeks ago at a fashion show I was at with my coworker. She's 25 & so so pretty & sexy & I know she got interested in me cause of my job & money but she wont admit it though. She keeps saying its cause I'm kind & sweet & she never met a guy like me & all her exes was abusive jerks that used her. Is this true? Um... I wanna kiss her so bad but she put it off a few times so I got annoyed & was gonna drop her but she begged me to be patient with her cause of her past. Should I? She just text me to go to a movie tonight & says she thought about me all day. Does she sound genuine? Should I take her & make another move? If she rejects again, should I stop seeing her? I don't wanna keep wasting time with no payoff u know. If you think she is only interested in you for those reasons, follow your gut. Also, I don't understand you're the one who chose to "spoil her" yet seem to be upset she is accepting your money and gifts and so on. I get the sense that you don't think you have much going for you besides your money so lead with that and try to reel women in that way, but of course that only attracts a certain kind of woman. Nothing is wrong with spoiling a GF who has established that she is into you but spending a ton of money on a woman you've known 2 weeks and then say oh you think she only wants you for money seems disingenuous. Also, the idea about payoff for me seems really tacky like you try to buy women's time and affection and expect if you spend a certain amount of money there should be a "pay off" in the end. Stop spoiling her. Sure paying for dates is fine, not sure what you mean by spoil to be honest, but if it goes beyond paying for dates, STOP and try to get to know her and take things slowly and see if you both really like each other. Also, do you simply want sex or what?
Author NYC-BigKat Posted March 3, 2015 Author Posted March 3, 2015 This thread is just a bombardment of questions - and how can we know the answers when you barely know this girl yourself?! However, first-off, how do you know she only got interested in you because of your money? What indicated this? I'm not sure I get the money-crazy-user vibe at the moment. She may well be a user, but what has actually happened to indicate this? How many dates have you had? When you try to kiss her, are you being pushy? Some women don't like to jump in too fast. You never know, she may have had a difficult past with some difficult guys. The point is, there isn't enough to go on at this point. You could be being paranoid, or she may be a gold digger. So she wants to see a film... She isn't asking you to take her to the Ritz. If you want to test your money theory, split the cost of the tickets. Why don't you just go with the date and try to enjoy it? Uh, she says she wants to go dutch with me so I guess that's a good sign u know. She also asked me if I still wanted to kiss her since I tried before & I said yea & she said okay, we can do some since this will be our 3rd date in the city together. I do like her. She's an aspiring fashion model & wants to be with a nice sweet guy that wont hurt her. This is what she said when we talked today. I guess its safe to try her out . My coworker said I'm a real big dummy if I dont 'cause she's hot & stuff. I don't know. It seems like the more girls are into me now after knowing I got a good job with benefits & stuff. Will see how it goes & keep u posted.
Moy Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 It seems like the more girls are into me now after knowing I got a good job with benefits & stuff. You don't say!? 2
CrystalShine2011 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Keep us posted! I would give her a chance but stop spending so much money on her!! 1
venusishername Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 (edited) You don't say!? LMAO! Yup, NYC... all women like men who have jobs, and especially jobs with benefits, that is for certain. Actually, I don't ever date men who don't have jobs with benefits It doesn't mean it's about money (with the girl you write about anyway). It's about a sense of responsibility and the ability to go out and do things like go out in the city, have lunch, get dressed up, etc. I'm sorry, the Republican in me is coming out. Good luck. Edited March 4, 2015 by venusishername
Els Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Wait... so... this girl asked you to a MOVIE and wanted to go dutch... and you're concerned that she's using you for MONEY!?!? You have got to be kidding me. If you're so concerned about 'payoffs', I would sincerely recommend an escort instead of a girlfriend. That way your 'payoff' is guaranteed. Better for everyone involved.
Author NYC-BigKat Posted March 4, 2015 Author Posted March 4, 2015 Wait... so... this girl asked you to a MOVIE and wanted to go dutch... and you're concerned that she's using you for MONEY!?!? You have got to be kidding me. If you're so concerned about 'payoffs', I would sincerely recommend an escort instead of a girlfriend. That way your 'payoff' is guaranteed. Better for everyone involved. Uh...I meant payoff by getting intimate & stuff just that. Anyway we went to the movies last night to see kingsman & it was good. We tried to make out a little bit in the dark up top in the corner but it was awkward & she wasn't into it so I stopped & just went back to watching the movie. I didn't feel good about this at all u know. I walked her back to the train station & she wanted me to call her but I really dont feel like it now. I keep thinking about the kissing & it felt forced & unnatural & its bad & I hated it . I went to tell my uncle about it last night & he said getting a girl to be passionate with a guy is one of the tougher challenges in connecting with them. I explained to him that I always have so much difficulty doing that & wanted to know how he's so good at doing this & he doesn't have any answers for me except thats its not gonna be easy for me ever. This really hurts especially since I no longer am seeing the girl at my job & have skipped work a few days just to get away from the atmosphere & was hoping to find someone new & its not happening right now. Unsure of where to go from here after this .
fitnessfan365 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Any girl that's actually interested will want to kiss you. That's why you need to start looking past how hot a woman is, and pay attention to her ACTIONS. What cracks me up is when you hear a woman say that she doesn't want to date anymore players, liars, jerks, etc.. Yet that's obviously her type because she keeps going for them. Any woman that has such bad taste in men like this woman does, is going to be nothing but trouble and drama. But she sees you as the nice guy therapist/activity buddy and nothing more. Drop her like a bad habit. Besides, you've known her for two weeks? There's no way you should be this attached already anyways,
Easyguy14 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Uh...I meant payoff by getting intimate & stuff just that. Anyway we went to the movies last night to see kingsman & it was good. We tried to make out a little bit in the dark up top in the corner but it was awkward & she wasn't into it so I stopped & just went back to watching the movie. I didn't feel good about this at all u know. I walked her back to the train station & she wanted me to call her but I really dont feel like it now. I keep thinking about the kissing & it felt forced & unnatural & its bad & I hated it . I went to tell my uncle about it last night & he said getting a girl to be passionate with a guy is one of the tougher challenges in connecting with them. I explained to him that I always have so much difficulty doing that & wanted to know how he's so good at doing this & he doesn't have any answers for me except thats its not gonna be easy for me ever. This really hurts especially since I no longer am seeing the girl at my job & have skipped work a few days just to get away from the atmosphere & was hoping to find someone new & its not happening right now. Unsure of where to go from here after this . I knew this arrangement was doomed from the start reviewing the info you wrote on it. Once the money factor got involved, you dampened any chance of making a connection because said woman saw you in a different light. How could it be rectified? It cant now so forget about her and move on to better things. My only suggestion about trying to connect with women is to continue to go out with your coworkers/friends and meet people. Leave the money stuff alone. It won't work unless said woman is a flatout gold-digger and is seeking a man to take care of her. Said woman will never grow fond of you in the way that you want. She'll only grow fond of your wallet and you'll be left feeling empty and disappointed. Take it from me. I learned myself.
Auspecial Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Why does your uncle think you will always have problems connecting with women?
smackie9 Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Easy fix....date independent women that have their own money. And stop letting the little head do all the thinking. 1
MGX Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 She's using you. She's dating your wallet, not you. Dump her.
ThaWholigan Posted March 10, 2015 Posted March 10, 2015 Why does your uncle think you will always have problems connecting with women? Honestly, and I don't say this lightly as normally I hate online diagnosis of stuff, but reading OPs posts over the last few years, I've long suspected some kind of learning difficulty or disorder. He's doing well for himself in work which is great to see though - but still needs to learn more about girls IMO
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