alphamale Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 I guess I have three modes: 1) friends 2) hookup and 3) dating. 3 doors, whats behind each one?
Author Toodaloo Posted March 4, 2015 Author Posted March 4, 2015 See I have absolutely no idea what to think or "feel". I hardly know the chap and yes we had a very pleasant stroll and he is good company. But the whole time I just thought well he isn't interested so lets just enjoy the time because he is a nice chap and go home and chalk it up to experience. Don't get attached ol' girl and remember he doesn't have to fancy you is what I was repeating through my head the whole time. The only bad points are; a. he lied about his height (2" shorter) b. he has very well manicured but long finger nails Not exactly anything you could say was a massive no no... I sent the thank you. The following day he replied it was a bland response. So I didn't worry. Then yesterday afternoon the I want to see you again... blunt as a brick through a window. Not even I could miss that one. Normally I can tell if a chap is remotely interested but this one? I have no clue. Bizzare...
Author Toodaloo Posted March 4, 2015 Author Posted March 4, 2015 3 doors, whats behind each one? 1. french knickers 2. Granny pants 3. thong
insert_name Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Hes an analyst- this is very typical behaviour. It will probably take him a while to feel secure enough with you that he is able to make a move without committing some sort of social faux pas/scaring you off. Its worth adding that whilst a lot of people have no time for introverts when it comes to dating, it needs to be remembered that dating is a minefield for people with poor social skills who have feelings for people because you probably know you are not good at this sort of thing and if you do make a move when you arent very socially calibrated you are highly likely to get it wrong or make a move too early. Add on to that that guys dont like risking causing a scene and being called a creep if their advance is rejected. So yeah, its tough for men who dont know the ropes as they are expected to lead but either havent learnt how, or have had bad experiences when they have tried which makes things worse. Tl;dr: You many have to make a move on him if you want to accelerate things. 1
alphamale Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 1. french knickers 2. Granny pants 3. thong :lmao:...
mightycpa Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 See I have absolutely no idea what to think or "feel". I hardly know the chap and yes we had a very pleasant stroll and he is good company. But the whole time I just thought well he isn't interested so lets just enjoy the time because he is a nice chap and go home and chalk it up to experience. Don't get attached ol' girl and remember he doesn't have to fancy you is what I was repeating through my head the whole time. The only bad points are; a. he lied about his height (2" shorter) b. he has very well manicured but long finger nails Not exactly anything you could say was a massive no no... I sent the thank you. The following day he replied it was a bland response. So I didn't worry. Then yesterday afternoon the I want to see you again... blunt as a brick through a window. Not even I could miss that one. Normally I can tell if a chap is remotely interested but this one? I have no clue. Bizzare... I don't know why this makes me laugh, but it does. You could try this: Take me, Percival! and if he replies Where? then just forget about it. Have you considered that this reluctance to express himself, ahem, "enthusiastically" could extend to other facets of the relationship? In fact, now that I think about it, other parts of his life where expressiveness counts for a lot?
alphamale Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Have you considered that this reluctance to express himself, ahem, "enthusiastically" could extend to other facets of the relationship? In fact, now that I think about it, other parts of his life where expressiveness counts for a lot? are you saying he may be a closet homosexual?
Author Toodaloo Posted March 5, 2015 Author Posted March 5, 2015 I still can't get my head round it. Never dated anyone like this before. Now you could say that is a good thing as lets face it I am still single so the "types" I have dated before clearly are not for me. But I really have no clue how to approach this. I have no clue if he is uncomfortable, happy, miserable, annoyed, content. It is just one level. I am sure he feels all these things. But there is no indication of how I should react because there is no obvious sign in body language or how he reacts. I don't think I will be able to make the first move because I would be too worried about upsetting him or doing the wrong thing because there is no indication that he would welcome such behavior. I think thats why I am finding it so difficult to figure out if I do like him that way or not. Its like eating bland food. There is nothing to say either way. Its food, it will sustain you, but your not going to go mad over it either as a yes or no. He comes out with some fun comments every now and then, he is bright and intelligent. He is thoughtful and considerate. As I have said the fib about his height (which seems to be common if annoying) and his finger nails are the only negatives... He has said that his greatest fear is making a fool of himself. I have also noticed that he has a "speaking voice" that he uses when he is unsure. His tone and manner of speaking changes subtly but significantly. He enunciates very precisely and correctly. So "yea" or "yep" will be a very clear "yes". But this happens if you ask a silly question that hardly anyone ever remembers like "Do you know what the name of the yellow Jelly baby is?" as well as when I asked if he did actually want to see me again and explained that he didn't have to just to be polite... Dunno. Just call me Stan... lots of head scratching going on here.
Author Toodaloo Posted March 5, 2015 Author Posted March 5, 2015 I don't know why this makes me laugh, but it does. Have you considered that this reluctance to express himself, ahem, "enthusiastically" could extend to other facets of the relationship? In fact, now that I think about it, other parts of his life where expressiveness counts for a lot? I'll be lucky if I get laid at all let alone swing from chandeliers? The thought had crossed my mind... If getting to know him is going to be this difficult getting his pants off will be a herculean effort. Not really into "raping" men unless they are willing!! Perhaps I could be subtle and get him "the Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus" as a surprise present. I am told it is a very good read!!! We shall see.
lgspot Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 As a sometimes reserved guy, next time you're with him, I would suggest at some point just lay one him... Give him a toe-curling kiss and see how he reacts. Take him by surprise and his reaction will be your answers. Two side thoughts: Fib about height not issue. In my life, being a guy---I never trust a man with "long" manicured nails. lol All of my gfs wanted my nails short. lol 1
Author Toodaloo Posted March 5, 2015 Author Posted March 5, 2015 As a sometimes reserved guy, next time you're with him, I would suggest at some point just lay one him... Give him a toe-curling kiss and see how he reacts. Take him by surprise and his reaction will be your answers. I have had men run away *surprisingly fast* when I have done this in the past! Two side thoughts: Fib about height not issue. In my life, being a guy---I never trust a man with "long" manicured nails. lol All of my gfs wanted my nails short. lol Yeah... the nails... Very clean, very well manicured but long nails... Those could erm... scratch in intimate places... I have a "thing" about long nails (I hate them) and I get your "thing" about not trusting a man with long finger nails...
lgspot Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 Yeah... the nails... Very clean, very well manicured but long nails... Those could erm... scratch in intimate places... I have a "thing" about long nails (I hate them) and I get your "thing" about not trusting a man with long finger nails... About the surprise kiss---yes some may run.... Some may not. I had a three year relationship begin with one that did "curl my toes." I still love that girl today years later... About the nails, almost nothing will kill a mood faster than a scratch in an intimate place.... :sick: If you get him the book, buy two and send me the other.
Author Toodaloo Posted March 5, 2015 Author Posted March 5, 2015 If you get him the book, buy two and send me the other. Well I got the "Ultimate Guide to Fellatio" many years ago and I can tell you now that anyone who thinks they know how to give good head really doesn't until they have read that book! A male friend asked for recommendations after we spoke about some of the reactions I have had from my erm "activities". So I suggested as he was unlikely to be going near a penis to try that one as its the counter part to the one I learnt so much from... He read the book in next to no time! Apparently its opened his eyes forever! Vagina's be warned! Really don't know how to play it so will just go with the flow and see how it goes.
lgspot Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 Wellllllll, since you've already read your book and if you get him the vagina appreciation book---sounds like a match made!!! If he trims the nails!?! Yeah. The flow is probably best. And you did read the book. Can't waste your knowledge.
fred123 Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 how does the guy or a guy know he is even on a date?! the girl has so much power i realise if she is not interested its not a date and if she is, it is a date. maybe he is scared of being humiliated or rejected. i do the same as this guy cos last time i had feelings for a girl and really liked her and when we finally met i acted more than friends, like flirty and and wanted to talk to her and stand next to her etc she got weird and ignored me. us guys dont want to be ignored or labelled creepy so we just act polite and as friends. we get hurt too.
Author Toodaloo Posted March 5, 2015 Author Posted March 5, 2015 how does the guy or a guy know he is even on a date?! the girl has so much power i realise if she is not interested its not a date and if she is, it is a date. maybe he is scared of being humiliated or rejected. i do the same as this guy cos last time i had feelings for a girl and really liked her and when we finally met i acted more than friends, like flirty and and wanted to talk to her and stand next to her etc she got weird and ignored me. us guys dont want to be ignored or labelled creepy so we just act polite and as friends. we get hurt too. But Fred - perhaps it was creapy because by the stage you actually did/ said something you had already put yourself into the friendzone with out knowing? When a friend does that its weird. Very weird. This guy is swiftly going there because there is absolutely no indication to say he is overly keen on me at all until he decides to send a message saying he wants a second date??? Something, anything, a tiny bit of flirting, a touch on the arm anything would do... just so I know he is interested romantically not just as good company.
Haydn Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 Blokes in for a really good time with all those tome's of sexual shenanigans you've perused, plus the mention of strong equines' with powerful bodies and long faces;) Good luck Toodaloo. 1
Gaeta Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 Long fingernails - does he play the guitar? I am thinking he cross-dresses on weekends 3
Haydn Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 I am thinking he cross-dresses on weekends Don`t we all?
Author Toodaloo Posted March 5, 2015 Author Posted March 5, 2015 Don`t we all? No, I thought weekend attire is a dinosaur suit or tutus...??? You mean to tell me that all these years I should have been dressing as a man at weekends too???? Doesn't play guitar put used to play the horn... no the actual horn as in, in a band (this one time at band camp...)... 1
Gaeta Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 Doesn't play guitar put used to play the horn... no the actual horn as in... You had me laugh out loud here lol. I hope he turns out to be the man of your life but I am getting a stranger vibe from him ! But then we all know my men picker is off so what do I know ! lol I am certainly looking forward to next date report !! 1
BluEyeL Posted March 5, 2015 Posted March 5, 2015 I think it's too much over analysis. I hardly ever kissed on the first date. Many times not even on the second or third.... Most of my dating situations where slow physically. What's the rush? First date is just a meet and greet. The long nails, I don't care for, but in general, if he asks for a second date (a firm second date, day, time activity) it means he's interested. If he doesn't ask you out, then he's not.
Author Toodaloo Posted March 5, 2015 Author Posted March 5, 2015 I think it's too much over analysis. I hardly ever kissed on the first date. Many times not even on the second or third.... Most of my dating situations where slow physically. What's the rush? First date is just a meet and greet. There must have been something though? Normally men have been very obvious and quick. OK perhaps not full blown sex but they have clearly wanted to touch me or be near me and shown great interest. Its been obvious. Have never got past second date with out kissing. Second date booked. Sooner than I thought as I know his schedule is busy (mine is frantic over next few weeks too), but we managed to find some time over the weekend.
Author Toodaloo Posted March 5, 2015 Author Posted March 5, 2015 You had me laugh out loud here lol. I hope he turns out to be the man of your life but I am getting a stranger vibe from him ! But then we all know my men picker is off so what do I know ! lol I am certainly looking forward to next date report !! Gaeta honey I am just waiting for him to tell me he is actually gay... or something similar... you think your picker is off - at the moment I have very little to actually pick from!
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