Disappointed05 Posted April 7, 2005 Posted April 7, 2005 I have been seeing this girl since January, and things have been going really well. We see each other every day, and I often stay at hers everynight during the week, and she stays at mine on weekends. However, I have a lot of extra baggage, including an ex who I despise and a young son. All during the relationship, I have tried to make sure we do not see each other all the time, simply because I dont want it to become too overbearing for her, however, she loves seeing me everyday and still says we dont see each other enough ... until recently. We have talked about moving in later in the year and even slightly discussed the future. Basically both admitting to each other we love them and how we can see a future together. Recently, my ex has been overbearing in terms of when I can and cant see my son, to the point that she rejected a holiday I had planned with him. I therefore am now not going on holidays. When my girlfriend got wind of this she was disappointed, and suddenly thought how many problems can arise between me and my ex. She has now turned around and says she has been naive thinking there will be no problems, and is even a little jealous because I have to see and talk to my ex in terms of our son. I have tried to reassure her, that there is noone I despise more than my ex ... Anyway, she is now talking about spending more time away from each other so she can think about things. Even though I have tried to tell her all along she should continue to see her friends etc. It all came as a bit of a shock and turnaround for me. Anyways, we are now a little distant and she is making up excuses to not see me, and often being short and sharp in any communication we have. WTF is going on here?!?!
westernxer Posted April 8, 2005 Posted April 8, 2005 I think she's doing you a favor... at least she's honest about her feelings. Some people just aren't cut out for a relationship with someone who has kids, not to mention a nasty ex on top of it. That creates a lot of stress, especially if she has no kids of her own to contend with. Personally, I don't think I can handle dating a single mother, no matter how hot she is. This is why I steer clear of them. Call me selfish, but I don't want to deal with everything that comes with it, and why should I? And why should your girlfriend? I totally understand where she's coming from. She sees what's going on, and it's not something she's wants to tolerate. Not much you can do about it, unless she changes her mind.
Disappointed05 Posted April 9, 2005 Posted April 9, 2005 Ya, but you see its been 3 months now, and she has known about it all before we even got serious with each other. She has never met my ex, and I dont want them to ever meet, and she adores my son. I have asked her flat out if he daunts her, and she says he doesnt - far from it. Its just that at the moment she keeps doing 180 degree turns, and I just dont get it. I have asked her if she wants to be with me or not, and she says she does want to be with me, and that she loves me, she just wants some nights to herself every now and then. Plus she is under a bit of stress, with being sick, lots on at her work, finances and the fact that she has to find a new place to live ...
westernxer Posted April 9, 2005 Posted April 9, 2005 It's one thing to talk about it and say you're okay with it... it's another thing to experience it. Maybe she is, like you said, just stressed out and all that. Just keep an open dialogue and hope for the best. Hopefully others will pick up on this thread... they may be able to see through your situation more effectively. At the very least, they'll be able to sympathize better, since I've never been married and what have you. Hang in there, and stay strong for your kids. That's what matters most.
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