Tolu2d Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 I ha to leave the country to sort a few things in my own country before going back to her. Things were great when I left and we had almost been together a year. Had done plenty of travelling together and bought a puppy. 2 weeks before I'm due to fly she tells me it's over and intends to ship my stuff back. I'm crushed and devastated by this, but i terms keep things on good terms as i love her. She literally gave me every cliche in the book for the reasons for breaking up. A week later she is dating a new guy from work!! I say some really harsh and personal thongs to her, which i now really regret. How can I begin to forgive myself?
marcelo.santos Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 dont regreat - ok, dont do it again with another girl and is ok! - she was cheating on you, she knows she did something wrong... move on and dont worry. 1
crazycanuck86 Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 Here's the thing if she gave you every "cliché" in the book and not a valid reason for braking up with you, and is already dating a different guy then chances are she gave up on the relationship a long time ago. Also you saying those crule and hurtful things to her was a normal reaction to having a broken heart. You did nothing wrong, just follow the good old NC rule, and eventually you'll get over the whole situation, I know I've been there myself and dome the same thing.
sabd Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 I think most of us say stuff we later regret. Heat of the moment, emotions running high and all that. It's not the end of the world. Don't be so hard on yourself. What's done is done. Be kind to you.
Author Tolu2d Posted March 3, 2015 Author Posted March 3, 2015 I'm just doing a lot to work on myself right now. Hitting the gym and fitness hard. Im really fat now, but I used to row for my college, so I'm getting myself back into shape. I cant see myself getting in another relationship anytime soon, just going to stick with the more casual stuff until I've sorted a lot of problems with myself. Any good books on relationships and self improvement? As i've lost so much, i'm determined to make this a changing point in my life! I'm determined to come back better and stronger than ever!
erklat Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 Codependent no more by Melody Beattie helped me to find my place under the sun. Furthermore, there is nothing you have to forgive yourself. Lashing out is a normal reaction to terrible pain she put you through. I also wish I just turned and walked away as she never meant anything to me, but you definitely have nothing to forgive yourself for.
Author Tolu2d Posted March 3, 2015 Author Posted March 3, 2015 I was actually very kind to her when she broke up with me, and even gave her a list of all the things I loved about her and I wished her the best for the future, plus some encouragement on the issues she's dealing with. All this while I was bleeding inside. Then she starts talking to me over something and bang, I see her new guy on her FB page. I just went completely mad. I've never been in so much pain in all my life, and I've been through some bad crap. What I said was terribly mean and very personal, but I did apologise to her afterwards when I'd cooled of. Been NC three weeks, and I can't wait to be back in shape and start meeting new, better girls.
EgoJoe Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 So love the memory and detach. Accept reality don't attempt to interpret it and realize when you can't influence it.
Recommended Posts