Author alliemai Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 Would you mind your boyfriend going to lunch with his ex? I would not. I trust him. And he should trust me too.But his last gf lied to him a lot about a lot of really heavy things, such as drug abuse, so I get that he is insecure. I realize hiding this from him would be bad so I told him about it and he is ok with it, even though he probably feels uneasy about it. But once I had lunch with the ex and tell him about it, i am sure he will feel more secure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alliemai Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 It's ironic you say this. Your jealousy is acceptable but your boyfriend's is not. You de-prioritize your boyfriend's concerns, simply calling him sensitive. The fact that you mentioned your ex-boyfriend is a confident man, you are comparing your boyfriend to your ex, and denigrating your boyfriend's concerns because you think they are not at the same level as your ex-boyfriend's confident nature. I already wrote earlier that I believe a healthy amount of jealousy is normal. Everybody is jealous. But I don't shove it in his face. His concerns are completely irrational and stem from his trust issues he has due to his last relationship. I have never done anything to make him feel uneasy. I dont really compare my ex to my boyfriend. They are very different. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alliemai Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 For what it's worth... I think that IF you want to keep an ex as a friend... you are going about this the correct way. I don't advise doing that in general, but I feel like you have it under control from your end. I just think your xBF may be seeing this differently, so you should have that conversation with him. Otherwise... Ignore the haters... don't feed the trolls... and best wishes with your relationship! Thanks. I am just trying to do the right thing while not having to compromise too much (such as a good friendship) and still don't hurt anybody (my boyfriend). Link to post Share on other sites
SawtoothMars Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Thanks. I am just trying to do the right thing while not having to compromise too much (such as a good friendship) and still don't hurt anybody (my boyfriend). I was very critical at the beginning because I've seen so many situations like this blow up in someone's face. However, you have made me a believer. Not by arguing points so much as by doing and saying things that make me understand you really care about your BF and about doing things right. That makes me think even if your xBF does something silly like try to kiss you... you will have the strength of character to resolve the situation properly. Link to post Share on other sites
Raines Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 I guess we are all different. The thought of having lunch with an X, if I'm in a committed relationship, wouldn't even enter my mind. I see no point in meeting up with an old flame if I'm in a relationship Link to post Share on other sites
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