h0000 Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 I am seeing a guy for a month now and things are really light and casual. We would just exchange few messages everyday(almost) and see each other every weekend(almost). Usually when I just met someone we would be very hot for each other at the beginning. But this guy is very chilled and I am uncertain how to approach here.. Any chance it will turn into a relationship or is his moderate interest already a red flag?
jwhite Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 I am that guy(at least I was as of Sunday). Are you sleeping together?
Lernaean_Hydra Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 Generally no. I mean, I'm sure it's happened in the past but not that I have ever seen.
Author h0000 Posted March 3, 2015 Author Posted March 3, 2015 I am that guy(at least I was as of Sunday). Are you sleeping together? What's ur story ?
Author h0000 Posted March 3, 2015 Author Posted March 3, 2015 A hookup of mine turned into a 1 year relationship. What's the difference between a hookup and casual dating ?
Author h0000 Posted March 3, 2015 Author Posted March 3, 2015 Generally no. I mean, I'm sure it's happened in the past but not that I have ever seen. What is a relationship potential dating like?
d0nnivain Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 The hot & heavy burns out quickly. Since that pace hasn't worked for you in the past, just let this slower pace evolve. It may turn out better than you anticipate.
jwhite Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 What's ur story ? Generally the same in that we only really saw each-other on the weekends and periodically communicated; not sure where it went wrong. On the chill subject: I have a life and I try to live it; can't exactly have both an individual life and intense relationship, it is stressful to manage. I think he may be trying to do the same and just take it step by step. I wouldn't necessarily chock it up to lack of interest. Also, I think that d0nnivain is correct in that hot & heavy frequently burns out faster, so look for a extended duration of happy thoughts.
Author h0000 Posted March 4, 2015 Author Posted March 4, 2015 Generally the same in that we only really saw each-other on the weekends and periodically communicated; not sure where it went wrong. On the chill subject: I have a life and I try to live it; can't exactly have both an individual life and intense relationship, it is stressful to manage. I think he may be trying to do the same and just take it step by step. I wouldn't necessarily chock it up to lack of interest. Also, I think that d0nnivain is correct in that hot & heavy frequently burns out faster, so look for a extended duration of happy thoughts. So did you not feel like seeing her more often? How long did that thing last and what's the ending like? If you are quite interested will you still be seeing her once a week? My past relationships all started off hot, and half lasted, half burnt.
Author h0000 Posted March 4, 2015 Author Posted March 4, 2015 Since I'm not used to this pace I lost it once and almost ended it when he made some plans and might not be able to see me last weekend. Somehow later I felt I overreacted..and surprisingly he apologised so I guess I will wait and see what's gonna happen 1
soithascometothis Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 This sounds a lot like the situation I'm in right now. We've been on three dates together (once a week, almost), and we don't really do much communicating in between. Although she never initiates contact first, so I text her maybe once every other day (our dates are great though). I know she has a full social calendar, and I'm pretty low key so I don't feel the need to text a lot. Although I would love it if I heard from her. Have you had much physical contact? In my situation, we have not crossed that barrier yet. It's my fault, I haven't really pushed it. That said, I think if the casual dating thing goes on long enough, I think you eventually cross a line where it becomes too awkward for it to become serious. I've managed to go on these great dates with this girl, but we haven't had any physical contact, and we don't communicate much between dates. It's starting to feel like we may have crossed a point of no return.
Author h0000 Posted March 4, 2015 Author Posted March 4, 2015 We both initiated things (texts or dates) yes we had sex already. I Like his body and he likes mine so why not ;) I Did tell him this is not some hookup or fwb though. More like seeing how things go. At least we both have a good intention. What do you mean too akward to become serious?
Gary S Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 Usually you just know when it's meant to be after a couple weeks. But it can take a couple months to fall in love.... you could give it another month if you want to. If you are still indecisive after that, it's probably not a match. 1
jwhite Posted March 4, 2015 Posted March 4, 2015 So did you not feel like seeing her more often? How long did that thing last and what's the ending like? If you are quite interested will you still be seeing her once a week? My past relationships all started off hot, and half lasted, half burnt. Of course I thought about seeing her more, but time just didn't allow. I would have to give up too much and was also wondering about how she felt with about things. Nobody wants to get hurt, so if you give so much of your life away and start to gain a high level of feelings, the harder the fall will be. He may be thinking of those things. We were a thing for almost two months. I am unsure of what the ending is like as I am unsure of how she currently feels, but I have not had contact for four days now and I am assuming it is finished. I am using this NC time to recover and move on...it is better than to sit around wondering. I wouldn't read into it too much. Just take it as it goes. After a bit, ask him about it.
Author h0000 Posted March 4, 2015 Author Posted March 4, 2015 Of course I thought about seeing her more, but time just didn't allow. I would have to give up too much and was also wondering about how she felt with about things. Nobody wants to get hurt, so if you give so much of your life away and start to gain a high level of feelings, the harder the fall will be. He may be thinking of those things. We were a thing for almost two months. I am unsure of what the ending is like as I am unsure of how she currently feels, but I have not had contact for four days now and I am assuming it is finished. I am using this NC time to recover and move on...it is better than to sit around wondering. I wouldn't read into it too much. Just take it as it goes. After a bit, ask him about it. Time didn't allow? Meaning you were really just busy? Then you were also afraid to get hurt cuz she didn't show obvious interests? It made me wonder did she never tell you or act like she likes you? You two had sex, right? Why didn't you ask about her feelings? Most importantly, what did/do you want with her? Me and the guy both initiate texts and dates so I think I am fairly obvious with my interest. However our last conversation happened 2 days ago (I initiated it) and since then he hasn't texted me anything....
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