HoldOn Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Ok, Swedace, He knows you like him. He has no excuse any more.... Now you have to leave the ball in his court. That means NO calling and NO asking him out any more. Let him have control and decide whether he wants to date you!
ConfusedInOC Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by HoldOn Ok, Swedace, He knows you like him. He has no excuse any more.... Now you have to leave the ball in his court. That means NO calling and NO asking him out any more. Let him have control and decide whether he wants to date you! Agreed. You've done all you can. If he doesn't call you, it's very much his loss. He may not be in a position to date right now...or, he could be gay!
scarlyjones Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by Lucky Dog Well, I don't know what 'subbing' a class means, but if you are in any type of teacher/student relationship with him, you should wait until you are not in that posiotion any more before you try and get serious with him. Otherwise, I would just use your 'computer tech' as an excuse to talk to him - say that you have to check the 'hard disk' of the computer he is working on or something more subtle Good luck It means "substitute"........................Didnt you ever have a "sub"?
morrigan Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 This guy does sound pretty shy. The next time you see him, if he smiles or makes eye contact at you, or goes out of his way to say hello, go ahead and talk to him some more. If he avoids you, just chalk it up to life. I agree with the poster that said that shy people suddenly don't become social butterflys when someone else approaches them for conversation. There are guys who are as afraid of rejection as a lot of girls are who wouldn't dream of asking a guy out. If he is that interesting, and you have more conversations with him, go ahead and ask him out for an actual date. Then if he hedges, brush his a$$ off. Regardless if he says yes or declines, it'll give you more confidence either way about meeting and dating the people you want to, rather than waiting around for someone to ask you out first. Good luck!
BigB Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 Wow, good job, I'm glad we were able to help with your approach. Just keep being friendly, and see where it goes. Ball's in his court now.
Author swedeace Posted May 4, 2005 Author Posted May 4, 2005 GOT an email from the guy today!!! AHHH!!!! I mean, that is just SO sweet of him to do!!! He was sorry for having kept me a while, and he had a sense of humor telling me I can curse him out and even place Voodoo on him - how funny! He mentioned to me he's not into dating now (he also said he's not gay or taken right now) because of stuff he's going through (the personal stuff I picked up on during our convo - I was right!), but it's just not in the cards for him at the moment. He's interested in being friends, and said he's enjoyed talking with me!!! I'm not in the least sad or anything, and I admire he, at least, tried to contact me!!! Wow!!! I had that feeling, too, when I was opening up my email I just had a gut feeling to find an email from him! Much to my surprise, I did!! But anyway... I just wanted to share my news with everyone.... Friends is fine, too. Friends are special.
Author swedeace Posted May 4, 2005 Author Posted May 4, 2005 I've gotten some confusion from other threads I have shared my good news with, so I think I will explain in this one too, should the "friend" issue come up. He actually did not say "I just want to be friends" in that manner. He mentioned, "I liked talking with you and hope we can do it more." He also mentioned, "If you want to talk about anything, you know you can come to me" and "I'm always interested in what you have to say" and asked me a question about my favorite group (he used his listening skills to remember our convo!) in that sense..... This is all I can write without actually posting his email. Well, friend now, more later, or whatever....I just enjoyed his company. Oooops.. my bad....I read the email wrong. He didn't say "I'm not taken." He actually said, "I'm not seeing anybody." I jumped the gun and wrote it wrong. Sorry... The overall tone of the email was very sincere and very gentleman-like. It goes to show he's considerate on others - a great person quality. In anyway, being a friend first counts so much more and is important first, right? I am just going to be that friend (if that's what he means) to him because of his difficulty he's having these days. In generality, it means A LOT to me that he enjoyed talking with me and offered I can go to him for anything. Wow...
HoldOn Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 I don't think he's too shy to ask anyone out. I think that he's not interested or ready for a relationship right now. Thus, the reason that girls shouldn't ask guys out! If he likes you, there's a reason that he's not asking you out. So...let him deal with that and he'll come around if it's meant to be. In the mean time, get on with your life and date others. Seems like you're easily impressed, Swedace. "he's such a gentlemen" "Wasn't that nice of him to take time out of his day to e-mail me?" Maybe you should set your standards higher.... like.... he asked me out for a real dinner date...Hmmmm. I mean, e-mailing doesn't really mean anything. It's just a click of the mouse. Sorry.
Author swedeace Posted May 4, 2005 Author Posted May 4, 2005 It's quite difficult to explain situations and non-verbals online because others are not there. What I did pay attention to was body language. Non-verbals and body language say a lot, so I did sense "enjoyment" coming from him. Even my co-worker friend noticed and said he was walking with pride and had a big smile after talking with me. I just feel proud and happy to have connected by initiating contact. It's difficult to explain without being there or without posting his email, but it was sincere. It didn't feel cold or anything. You know know what the future brings. So for now, talking with him (as he mentioned he wanted to hopes we can talk more - sounds like he's sensitive) is good if he's not ready to actually date. I just respect his personal space. If he truly wasn't interested and didn't care about that encounter, he wouldn't have emailed me. Supposing he wasn't shy, he would've just told me then-and-there about his not dating interest that Friday because he wouldn't have cared. Maybe he was pondering things all these days because he sounded like he felt bad for taking a while and added humor - he was humorous during our chat, too. I am not going to count on any for-sure future "dating" possibilities wholeheartedly, nor am I going to ignore the possibility. I'll just carry on and talk with him. Life works in mysterious ways from all corners. That's the way I see it, anyway. He had a rather obscure quote in his signature talking about "shyness." Hmmm....
RecordProducer Posted May 5, 2005 Posted May 5, 2005 What I figured out from his email is that he understood very well that you liked him, but he is not interested in dating you. He wants to be just friends with you. But it also seems that he is in love with someone else so don't take it personally. I am in love with my BF and I wouldn't go out with anyone else even if George Clooney asked me out. So I think George should not take this personally!
Author swedeace Posted May 5, 2005 Author Posted May 5, 2005 RecordProducer: Hehehe!!! He told me in that email that he is "not seeing anyone, is not gay" but his problem "is just complicated." That Friday when we chatted, he disclosed he was going to doctor appointments, so I think he's having health-related situations. He's begun self-disclosing, so that goes to show he is slowly trusting me. Trust is very important, in general.
HoldOn Posted May 5, 2005 Posted May 5, 2005 I say it doesn't matter why he doesn't want to be more than friends. Either he doesn't like you enough ooor... he has issues that are keeping him from being able to date. What difference does it make? Either way you don't get to date him. I'm sorry for not being able to share in your joy of getting an e-mail, but I'm just trying to get you to realize that you should be looking around for men who DO like you enough and who DON'T have any issues to prevent him from dating you. you know, maybe you're looking for that man who is great enough to e-mail you. But I am (was) looking for a guy who was great enough to pick up the phone, ask me out in advance and woo me. I am (was) not looking for a guy who would half-heartedly say he'd like to be friendly after I pursued him. I am sorry, because I know that I am harsh sometimes. Put you really shouldn't put ANY of your EGGS into this basket. the basket is broken.
scarlyjones Posted May 6, 2005 Posted May 6, 2005 Sounds to me like shes using very selective hearing. She read his e-mail,....then instead of taking it at face value,...she interprets her OWN meanings behind it. He said hes interested in being your FRIEND. Dont read anything into it. THATS what he meant.
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