ThisisIt606 Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 I went out on one date with a guy off an online dating site. The date was OK up until the point he got a little too buzzed and was just invading my personal space a bit too much for my like, no inappropriate touching but still too close. He also made a "rape joke" which is was really put an end to the date in my mind. I still thanked him for the date, said it was fun, hugged, and left. He texted me last Friday asking if I wanted to grab a drink that night. I replied that I couldn't because I already had plans. (true) Also, I didn't want to go on a date again, plus it was very last minute on a Friday. Anyways he texted again today asking if I was free this week for a drink. I replied: ME: "It was nice meeting up, but I just didn't feel the connection I'm looking for. Best of luck!" HIM: OK! You too. This ended fine. But in the future, what are some ways to decline a date? I told a white lie "it was nice meeting up" (even though I did NOT approve of his close contact and rape joke). What sort of "no thanks" texts have you sent, or would like to receive? Especially for a 1st date that didn't go that well... 1
stillafool Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 Well it was nice meeting a new person, right? Anyway, I think what you texted is the perfect statement to make when you are not interested. There's no harming in being nice. 2
losangelena Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 That sounds exactly right. I've sent those types of texts before, and I think after one or two dates, it's fine to do. Don't worry about making sure you scold him for his boneheaded behavior and supposed sense of humor. You're not dating him, so unless you feel STRONGLY about letting him know, let it go. You did fine in how you communicated with him.
mammasita Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 Your response was just fine. No harm, no foul. You don't want to tell someone they suck as a person even if you truly think they do lol. Keep it simple and carry on.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 OP you handled it perfectly. You put closure to things. Even if we don't like the other person, it's good to be polite. 1
LongBeach00 Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 Yeah, that was on point and you were being direct. Gosh, most people can't tell the truth. Some do the classic "ignoring" texts or the "busy" excuse.
fred123 Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 him invading your personal space wasnt the reason you didnt like the guy. you didnt like the guy so you didnt like him invading your personal space. if you did you wouldnt care, in fact you would be another poster crying about why he didnt touch you or kiss you etc. boy i love women logic. 3
kendahke Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 a guy who can't handle his liquor on a first date would be a huge turn off to a lot of women. IMO, drinking on the first date is bad policy.
LoveRefreshed Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) what ****ing guy tells a rape joke on a first date... or really tells rape jokes in general. Rape jokes I find immature. I also hate those people are are like I'm not racist, but.."racist joke"... ****ing A. I make a lot of witty, sexual, and crass jokes, but ****, what an idiot. I would have just told him honestly that rape jokes are unbecoming. Edited March 3, 2015 by LoveRefreshed
Gary S Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 You got lucky. If you had rejected a hot-head like that, he might have said some nasty things back to you. The best thing to do is either a softer rejection - cutting contact. Or get them to reject you - by telling them you are getting back with the ex, or dating someone else and you want to see where it goes.
wb1988 Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 what ****ing guy tells a rape joke on a first date... or really tells rape jokes in general. Rape jokes I find immature. I also hate those people are are like I'm not racist, but.."racist joke"... ****ing A. I make a lot of witty, sexual, and crass jokes, but ****, what an idiot. I would have just told him honestly that rape jokes are unbecoming. Some rape jokes can be funny but there has to be good context and a build up. But you're right only an idiot makes a rape joke on a 1st date, that's like inviting a girl to your place, slamming the door and then screaming "now you're all mine" in a creepy voice — funny with a gf, stupid on a 1st visit.
SpiralOut Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 I think you handled it fine. There is nothing wrong with saying "it was nice to meet you" at the end of the date. That's not misleading, it's being polite and most people won't read too much into it.
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