misunderstandinglove Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 My mind is so confused. Let me start by saying I have a 10 year old to this man so completely walking away is not an option. My daughter was unplanned and was a blessing..however me and her father only had sex one time during which she was conceived. Throughout the years we have both been married and divorced to other individuals. We have periodically had sex throughout the years. I have always been in love with him but only recently confessed this to him. He is not a very emotional man and even when he has been in relationships with others he shuts them out and doesn't talk about emotions. We have been casually having sex for the past year. We hang out in the same places and have many common friends so it started as a convenience. I have not been with anyone else in over a year and he has not in 6 month. The problem comes from when I ask for more out of our relationship. He is not ready to settle down. He enjoys the bar scene and doesn't want to give up his freedom. I have tried several times to walk away because I want more than he does. Every time I am out with someone else he becomes jealous and will send me texts (even if we are in the same room) saying he wants to take me home and such. I don't understand why he will not let me go if he does not want a relationship with me. I am a strong I dependent woman but when it comes to him I have no will power. We do not fight, do not argue, and a majority of our interactions take place while we are both drinking. Lately we have been hooking up about once a week. I stay the night. We have sex and I leave in the morning after we wake up. Things have gotten slightly more emotional between us over the last 6 months but I want more. I don't want him to simply take me home at the end of.the night. I want him to take me out at the beginning of the night. Regardless of what happens between us we do great at raising our child and she has no idea that we have any arrangement other than raising her. When we first started hooking up this time it was just 2am sex and I would leave. No we spend the night in each others arms. I font want to walk away to soon but I don't want to hold on to long either. Honest advice would be great.
d0nnivain Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 What kind of message are you sending your daughter about how men ought to treat women? She is watching her father use you. Do you think you are giving her a healthy example on which to model her future love life. If when she started dating your daughter came to you & told you a store like the one you posted, what would you tell her to do? Now go do that. 2
Author misunderstandinglove Posted March 3, 2015 Author Posted March 3, 2015 My daughter has no clue that any of this has been going on. We agreed to keep her out of the equation until we knew what was going on between us. But u are correct. I would not approve of.her being in a situation like mine. 1
BC1980 Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 This arrangement has been going on for a year, and he still does not want to commit. You've known him for 10 years and are the mother of his child, and, in all that time, he never wanted to commit. He will never want to commit to you. Nothing you will do or say can change that.
stillafool Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 My daughter has no clue that any of this has been going on. We agreed to keep her out of the equation until we knew what was going on between us. But u are correct. I would not approve of.her being in a situation like mine. Since your daughter has no clue that you are having sex with her father I don't understand why you said breaking off the sex with him is not an option. It has nothing to do with your daughter and nothing to do with him being her father. This man has been in other relationships with other women but won't be in one with you and you have a child with him. He doesn't even take you out on dates but basically just has drunken sex with you. Don't be flattered because he doesn't want other men going where he has been. No man likes to share a vagina unless it's planned that way. I think you should gather your self esteem and not let a man do to you what you wouldn't want done to your daughter.
CrystalShine2011 Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 Have you voiced to him what you would like to change? Perhaps it could turn into something, but it will take a bit of work! Good luck.
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