equitable Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 Not being listened to, not being heard, my feelings about why I had to break up being dismissed in the wake of the break up? And yet...XBF wanting to remain friends, even close, even pulling me back into emotional intimacy--while discounting what I'm telling him in his behavior left me feeling hurt, dismissed, and second to others? This is all complicated by the fact that we are part of an organization, and so see each other every week for this group, and also own a small business venture, related to this group, together. I have at times stayed away from this group for up to a month at a time. He's occasionally not come, for my sake. He's lately promised he's quitting--but instead of telling the group he's quitting, as he promised, he told them he would be missing last week due to stress at work. Every time I've stopped responding to his personal e-mails, especially the angry ones, he starts talking business. That quickly becomes warm and personal, till I object, he gets angry, and the cycle starts all over. I have at times blocked his e-mails and phone calls. He sends me business e-mails from a different account...and gradually becomes warmer and more personal again. Yet he wants to just skip to being friends without ever acknowledging his behavior that was unfair and hurtful to me. Yet I seem unable to really get away from him. How do I reach peace with the fact that he is simply not going to acknowledge that what he did was hurtful and wrong? How do I cope with losing my best friend, who I felt safer, more at home, more at peace with, more loved by, accepted, and valued, than I think I ever have in my life? I feel empty and alone, with no one to really talk to, anymore.
LivinDeadGrl Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 I am in the same situation regarding the "wanting to be friends". So far, I can't let go of my feelings for him on a romantic level. He treated me badly, never tried to understand my feelings and still to this day can't grasp why I get hurt by his actions/words. No matter how much you tell them, they usually never get it. My solution is to start going NC, because until the real raw feelings are gone you can't be friends. You can maybe never be friends. Try going NC unless it's business related, it's going to kill you but it will make it easier in the long run. 1
Author equitable Posted March 3, 2015 Author Posted March 3, 2015 Thank you. I think there might finally be hope of NC. I have bitten the bullet and told him I don't want to work with him. He's told me he's leaving the organization. Of course, he's told me that before.
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