Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 So had a date last week with this one girl - went pretty well I'd say, went out for drinks, got her number and gave her a hug good night (kiss was no go). Texted a bit back and forth and asked her out for Date #2 which she was quite receptive to. The only thing is that she's referred to it twice now as Hanging Out. "I'm up for hanging out again" and "remember that we get to hang out at the end of the week :)" She did go dutch on date 1. I've learned to take this as 2 possible meanings: 1) I'm independent 2) I'm paying because I want to keep this platonic / not interested. Ladies - What are your intentions on using the phrase "Hang out", would it ever be used for anything other than platonic? Is she maybe still on the fence about me? I'm thinking of cancelling because I don't want to waste my time.
BluEyeL Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 That's what dating is for, knowing the person. Don't try to interpret things earlier than you should. Usually 3-5 dates should be enough to figure things out. Hanging out can mean many different things. As well as paying dutch. Personally, I only pay dutch when I do not like the guy and I don't want to see him again. That way, he can't feel used for a meal. If I do like the guy, I don't pay because I know I'll have opportunities to pay later on, as I'll keep seeing him.
Versacehottie Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 That's what dating is for, knowing the person. Don't try to interpret things earlier than you should. Usually 3-5 dates should be enough to figure things out. . This^^. Just relax and go with what you want. Sounds like you had a good time so go again. Don't get to caught up in semantics in this case. I know people, myself included, who would word it that way for a variety of reasons--most good or non-factors as you are thinking. One reason may be is she doesn't want to scare you away, as guys are likely to do, if she makes a presumption that it's more than you THINK it is. She's chill and goes with flow. 3
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 2, 2015 Author Posted March 2, 2015 Yeah I might be overthinking it lol. I left the ball in her court at the end of last week and she did re-initiate with me today, so I'll just go through with it and see how it goes! Versace didn't think of looking at it that way - good point. 1
mightycpa Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 I don't want to waste my time. How could this possibly be a waste of time. Let's stipulate for a moment that she's not going to be the love of your life. Let's say you don't even get a kiss off of her. No doubt she has friends... female friends. If you make new female friends out of dates that don't pan out, you can host parties and have female friends to inviteget invited to parties hosted by those female friendsget invited to parties that new female friends get invited to this kind of thing can lead to meeting a lot of new females that might work out You just have to be able to become pals with the women where dating goes nowhere. It's not out of the question. 3
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 2, 2015 Author Posted March 2, 2015 Yes - all good points Thank you everyone.
Gary S Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 (edited) What do you mean the kiss was a no-go? If you mean she did not want to kiss you, she probably never will want to. Going dutch is just not a good indicator - everybody is confused on the "who pays" issue. Sometimes is means she does not like you and does not want to feel obligated. Other times, it just means she's a really nice girl, and wants to be fair, and that would be a good thing. She's scheduling dates with you, that's a good thing. If you are not sure where her head is at, I'd go out with her one more time, and give her the kiss test - see how responsive she is to a kiss. I don't know if "hang out" means anything.... some younger people use that phrase to mean a date. Edited March 2, 2015 by Gary S
Eighty_nine Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 So had a date last week with this one girl - went pretty well I'd say, went out for drinks, got her number and gave her a hug good night (kiss was no go). Texted a bit back and forth and asked her out for Date #2 which she was quite receptive to. The only thing is that she's referred to it twice now as Hanging Out. "I'm up for hanging out again" and "remember that we get to hang out at the end of the week :)" She did go dutch on date 1. I've learned to take this as 2 possible meanings: 1) I'm independent 2) I'm paying because I want to keep this platonic / not interested. Ladies - What are your intentions on using the phrase "Hang out", would it ever be used for anything other than platonic? Is she maybe still on the fence about me? I go dutch on maybe 50% first dates and it's for the first reason. I maybe have done it once or twice for the 2nd reason, but mainly the first. I have a career and an education etc that I'm proud of and I like guys to know I don't "need" them financially. And her saying "hang out" doesn't mean anything negative. It's just the phrase she's using... I've used it with guys I really liked. 2
d0nnivain Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 Sadly "hang out" is one of those imprecise language crutches that people use. It can mean anything. You need to keep using words like date to see if she corrects you. If she does not, then hang out = date in her mind. As for the money, she could just be polite & not expect you to pay all the time. If you want to make a point of paying, decline her offer but say "you can get the next one" 2
losangelena Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 One reason may be is she doesn't want to scare you away, as guys are likely to do, if she makes a presumption that it's more than you THINK it is. This is probably how I would use that term as well. More than anything it would be to "downplay" interest or feelings for the sake of not scaring the dude away. "Hang out" seems much less of a commitment than, "go on a date." Who knows, she may be feeling unsure about how you feel, and it just trying to keep things light and breezy. The fact that she is expressing interest in seeing you again is a positive. Focus on the positives. 3
Versacehottie Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 This is probably how I would use that term as well. More than anything it would be to "downplay" interest or feelings for the sake of not scaring the dude away. "Hang out" seems much less of a commitment than, "go on a date." Who knows, she may be feeling unsure about how you feel, and it just trying to keep things light and breezy. The fact that she is expressing interest in seeing you again is a positive. Focus on the positives. we are obviously relaxed like that on the west coast. maybe it's a los angeles thing?
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 So had our 2nd date tonight, and I feel like me and this girl really hit things off well this time! At the end of the night we hugged, and then when I backed away she just kinda stood there and we exchanged a couple more parting words, and then I knew the green light was there and I went in and kissed her I think she hinted about asking me out somewhere for next week, can't wait! Glad I listened to your guy's advice. 4
guest569 Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Glad things are going well. I wouldn't worry too much about her paying half or saying "hanging out", she just means "spending time with". It's not platonic or non platonic, it is just like "catching up" i guess. Edit : Clearly it doesn't matter now as you kissed which is a good sign its not platonic lol 1
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 She let me pay this time too
guest569 Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Yeah i still dont think it means anything who pays
Buddhist Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 about to say she's not into you, but there you go, answered your own question.
Diezel Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 Hanging out = Dating Somehow the former makes people feel like they are in no way committed to a specific outcome even though it's COMPLETELY the same thing. Dating in this century has now become that... hanging out. I remember when hanging out used to be the thing I'd do with my buds, when we'd want to go hang out at a bar and play some pool. Now the line is so blurred, that whenever someone tells me they were hanging out with someone, I don't know whether they were with friends or with a potential romantic interest. Hurray.
guest569 Posted March 7, 2015 Posted March 7, 2015 I still "hang out" with friends too so I can see why there was confusion. But early dating usually is just hanging out and getting to know one another before it becomes more serious ie dating!
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 7, 2015 Author Posted March 7, 2015 Well we're going out again tomorrow 3
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 8, 2015 Posted March 8, 2015 Well we're going out again tomorrow I'm happy that things are going well for you and this girl! You seem like a nice guy who's levelheaded, intelligent and respectful towards anyone you date. . 1
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 9, 2015 Author Posted March 9, 2015 Well things went really well tonight, went to a movie, and at the end of the night we were alone at her car in the parking garage and made out, we already have plans for next weekend Turns out this girl is amazing, can't believe i made this thread! 2
Versacehottie Posted March 9, 2015 Posted March 9, 2015 Well things went really well tonight, went to a movie, and at the end of the night we were alone at her car in the parking garage and made out, we already have plans for next weekend Turns out this girl is amazing, can't believe i made this thread! Told you she probably said that because she is cool
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