(Ex?) Girlfriend that suffers from major depression wanted a break

[Throwaway104]

So my (ex?) girlfriend of three years suffers from major depression and for the last few months has been very depressed and her medication stopped working.

We've had trouble for the last few month's seeing each other because of differing schedules and because my car broke down (ended up getting a new one yesterday). We were fine up until 11 days before the break where she started withdrawing and suddenly wanted a break before valentines day and our anniversary (which is on saturday).

 

She said that:

"We haven't been in sync for some time now"

"It's just been so hard without you having a car, and our schedules being so different"

"I just haven't felt happy for some time now and I need to take time for myself to feel happy"

"I don't know if we will ever be able to get back together"

"It's not you, I just don't think I can date anyone right now"

"I hope we can still be friends"

 

(Also doesn't sound like a break to me)

 

She's not ready to talk yet (so I have no idea what's going on) and I'm currently just waiting for her to be ready to talk. I know she still cares about me, but I also know she's just been very overwhelmed lately with other aspects of her life. I talked to her mother, who said to just give her space and that she still cares about me. I know that me not having a car placed an unfair burden on her which caused her stress and that wasn't fair. She's my best friend and this came completely out of no where for me. I don't need her in my life to be happy but I want her there if she wants to be there.

 

I seriously think that when we can talk we can work this out. We've had a strong relationship up until this. Anyone have any advice for me? I'm currently just being patient until I can get a response from her.

Edited March 2, 2015 by Throwaway104

[NC-Thomas]

So my (ex?) girlfriend of three years suffers from major depression and for the last few months has been very depressed and her medication stopped working.

We've had trouble for the last few month's seeing each other because of differing schedules and because my car broke down (ended up getting a new one yesterday). We were fine up until 11 days before the break where she started withdrawing and suddenly wanted a break before valentines day and our anniversary (which is on saturday).

 

She said that:

"We haven't been in sync for some time now"

"It's just been so hard without you having a car, and our schedules being so different"

"I just haven't felt happy for some time now and I need to take time for myself to feel happy"

"I don't know if we will ever be able to get back together"

"It's not you, I just don't think I can date anyone right now"

"I hope we can still be friends"

 

(Also doesn't sound like a break to me)

 

She's not ready to talk yet (so I have no idea what's going on) and I'm currently just waiting for her to be ready to talk. I know she still cares about me, but I also know she's just been very overwhelmed lately with other aspects of her life. I talked to her mother, who said to just give her space and that she still cares about me. I know that me not having a car placed an unfair burden on her which caused her stress and that wasn't fair. She's my best friend and this came completely out of no where for me. I don't need her in my life to be happy but I want her there if she wants to be there.

 

I seriously think that when we can talk we can work this out. We've had a strong relationship up until this. Anyone have any advice for me? I'm currently just being patient until I can get a response from her.

 

Seems to me your days with her are over. Looks like she is making up some stupid excuses (a lot to be fair) why you guys do not work.

 

I have the same happening right know. My girl just tells me a bunch of **** in order to get her space. In the end the message is just: I don't want to be with you.

 

Give her space, don't bother her! (i can't stress this enough). Don't wait her out, just live your life. Please don't try to be her "friend". Let her miss you. She'll come around if the really loves you.

[mightycpa]

Anyone have any advice for me? I'm currently just being patient until I can get a response from her.

Yeah. While you're waiting, go get a car, or a 2nd job, or whatever gets you closer to a car. Nothing says "I listened" like making a change.

[Throwaway104]

Already got the car and a second job. I understand where her concerns have come from, I know that when she is depressed that her view becomes distorted and everything seems permanent.

 

I'm giving her space at the moment. It just sucks because our anniversary is this weekend. For now I've just considered myself single with an asterisk, but until I talk to her I have no idea what is going on. We were fine and then in 11 days she completely withdrew. She's been really stressed out with work, classes, her roommates, the weather, and now me (I can see what I was doing that was causing her stress, and now that I understand I can fix it).

 

I understand that depression is her fight and I can do nothing for her. But she's my best friend and I can't see this being the end for us.

[Willow82]

I am in the same situation as you, except it happened 3 weeks ago.

 

Ex, who suffers from depression, told me he wasn't happy and wanted out. I'm struggling because I'm pretty certain it is the Depression talking and not him.