central Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 In short, I'll tell you what a guy friend told me: "If she's easy, she's not amazing. If she's amazing, she's not easy." What if she's amazingly easy? And easily amazing? What most guys who want a relationship want is a woman who is very selective about who they have sex with, but not uptight or conflicted about sex. Amazing women are usually sexually amazing as well. 3
elaine567 Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 I think there is a lot of naivete around. If I make him wait, only the good guys stick around; he may just get it from someone else, while he is waiting. If I make him wait he will think more of me; maybe he will think you are a control freak, putting up unnecessary restrictions. Some men are decent, honest and true, some men are not, I do not think making men wait for sex, is necessarily a good test of their intentions. I not think women should be giving in to men who are pressing for sex from the first message, but if the connection is there, then I feel sex happens when it feels right. Some first date sex meetings end up as serious relationships, some wait for 6 months and it ends up lasting 6 months and a day. There is no "right" way to do it. 2
LifeandPerseverance Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 I've recently just gotten into a relationship with a guy i've met online. It's going really great and after 5 dates he asked me to be his girlfriend. So now we are in a official relationship! I told him around date 3 that I don't have sex unless I am in love with my partner. I told him that if that's not the path he's on then he can find someone else, but I stand by my choices. He has been wonderfully accepting of this and hasn't pushed the boundaries when we are intimate. I'm just curious as to if guys secretly like when girls set boundaries regarding sex and how long to wait, or if it truly doesn't matter to them if they are looking for a relationship. I know this guy likes me a lot as he has told me numerous times, and I really like him as well, but I can't help but wonder if it annoys him that I am making him wait for sex. How about it guys...if you really like a girl would you secretly want her to wait a while until you go all the way? Would it make you loose some of the mystery if you had sex after the 3rd date? Just looking for some input I'm not a guy, but my 2 cents: It's a dichotomy. They want sex, as soon as they can get it, because they think with their smaller head. But on the flip side, many guys still hold the standard they won't take a girl as seriously if she jumps into bed with them (now that's not entirely true--for example, a guy might leave you for his ex that slept with him on their second date, not that I'm like, speaking from anything that's happened to me, or something, but anyways--so there are exceptions), because they are selfish creatures and they wonder if she slept with them THAT easily, how many other men has she done the same thing with? In your case, I think you may have genuinely met a good guy who likes you, and is willing to wait, which is fantastic. Two thumbs up. Also: I believe there's a difference between waiting to be rational and waiting to arbitrarily torture a guy. You'll know when you're ready.
Otter2569 Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 I go with the flow. Sex too early can be fun but it makes you wonder what she is up to. No sex or sexual progress would be frustrating. I want some sort of passion, signs of sexual interest and something that progresses naturally. I want a real woman - not a prude or a slut. Typically date 4 is the money date LOL Personally I respect a womans boundaries but at the same time I am not going to chase you or jump through hoops of fire for a good night kiss.
redglass Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 In my opinion, the wait - or lack of - isn't important if the guy likes you. There are no rules. My first long-term relationship - we waited six months. Second - it happened on the second date. Third (and my now-fiance) - the first 'proper' date. If you like and respect each other, there is no set rule. 1
SawtoothMars Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 - Why the 90 day rule doesn't work on players Ok... this guy rambles on for like 19 minutes and then in the last 3 minutes nails the truth! It is about building an emotional connection to a guy. Too many women suck at this... On the other hand... the players he is referencing... I personally know only one or two. These guys are very rare and tend to be professionally successful, vain, and handsome. They should not be too hard to spot... but on the other hand tend to be very attractive.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 I'm not saying we don't do other stuff... Exactly. It's not as if you're never touching or being physical. You test the physical chemistry with a gradually escalating progression. It's eating a gourmet meal slowly over the evening in courses and giving yourself time to savor and digest, rather than wolfing down a greasy cheeseburger and fries while driving the car out of the drive-thru. In the Mars & Venus on a Date book, he talks about how to progress physicality, and why it's the best approach if you want real, lasting love. First base, second, third, and once you're both in love, the home run, and off go the fireworks
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