Do guys secretly want a girl they like to say no to sex?

[rdet123]

I've recently just gotten into a relationship with a guy i've met online. It's going really great and after 5 dates he asked me to be his girlfriend. So now we are in a official relationship! I told him around date 3 that I don't have sex unless I am in love with my partner. I told him that if that's not the path he's on then he can find someone else, but I stand by my choices. He has been wonderfully accepting of this and hasn't pushed the boundaries when we are intimate. I'm just curious as to if guys secretly like when girls set boundaries regarding sex and how long to wait, or if it truly doesn't matter to them if they are looking for a relationship. I know this guy likes me a lot as he has told me numerous times, and I really like him as well, but I can't help but wonder if it annoys him that I am making him wait for sex.

 

How about it guys...if you really like a girl would you secretly want her to wait a while until you go all the way? Would it make you loose some of the mystery if you had sex after the 3rd date? Just looking for some input

[mightycpa]

No, not necessarily. Doing this will not make you more attractive to boys, nor will it necessarily make you less attractive.

 

If a boy truly likes you, he'll wait to have sex with you. Some will even wait for marriage if you make them.

 

Of course, that doesn't mean they're not having sex. They just might not be having it with you. You should keep that in mind too.

[fitnessfan365]

I like girls that are passionate, who live in the moment. Life is too short to jump through endless hoops.

 

But that doesn't mean I like to rush into sex. I find it very sexy to take my time. You get to know her body, what mental cues turn her on, etc.. If you have the patience to truly seduce a woman, it puts her in a submissive mindset sexually. However, if a woman acts like a referee all the time it kills the mood.

[rocketman122]

I've recently just gotten into a relationship with a guy i've met online. It's going really great and after 5 dates he asked me to be his girlfriend. So now we are in a official relationship! I told him around date 3 that I don't have sex unless I am in love with my partner. I told him that if that's not the path he's on then he can find someone else, but I stand by my choices. He has been wonderfully accepting of this and hasn't pushed the boundaries when we are intimate. I'm just curious as to if guys secretly like when girls set boundaries regarding sex and how long to wait, or if it truly doesn't matter to them if they are looking for a relationship. I know this guy likes me a lot as he has told me numerous times, and I really like him as well, but I can't help but wonder if it annoys him that I am making him wait for sex.

 

How about it guys...if you really like a girl would you secretly want her to wait a while until you go all the way? Would it make you loose some of the mystery if you had sex after the 3rd date? Just looking for some input

 

No I dont wait for sex. I cant bond just by talk. it doesnt work for me. 3 weeks was my limit and now im moving it to 2 weeks or 4 dates. thats it. I have way too many options.

 

a women who puts borders for me with sex can shove it. puewsey isnt some trophy to get because ive held up x amount of dates and wasted x amount of money on her.

 

I dont think any less of woman that wants sex on the 3rd date and sleeping earlier or later doesnt promise the guy will stay. I get emotionally attached aafter sex with the women but have no guilt or patience if she plays the lets wait shet. when you date a lot you quickly sense whos in it for real and whos in for fun. no way not me.

 

usually the ones who dont have offers or who dont look good have to be submissive and accepting till she spreads. Ive got too many options and I decide. they always text me the next few days of me walking away "is everything ok between us?" " hows everything, I havent heard from you" "if you change your mind you can call me"

 

theyre always attracted, I treat them nice and take them to nice places, but if I sense its not going intimate (by what they say and how they behave) I walk. theres TOO MANY options for me. I cant connect by talk only. intimacy and talk goes hand in hand for me. love hormone works for guys also.

[rdet123]

Interesting points of view guys. I guess for me is I wait to have sex because when I do I fall for the person immensely. Giving my body in such an intimate way is very important to me and I just want to make sure that the guy i'm seeing is on board for the long haul. I've been with 2 guys my whole life and both were long term relationships...never had a one night stand. It's more so of a protection mechanism because I don't want to get hurt if I give it up too soon

[fitnessfan365]

Interesting points of view guys. I guess for me is I wait to have sex because when I do I fall for the person immensely. Giving my body in such an intimate way is very important to me and I just want to make sure that the guy i'm seeing is on board for the long haul. I've been with 2 guys my whole life and both were long term relationships...never had a one night stand. It's more so of a protection mechanism because I don't want to get hurt if I give it up too soon

 

I can actually respect that a lot actually. What this tells me is that you're more conservative, and a "making love" type of woman. There is nothing wrong with this.

 

In the end it all comes down to personal preferences. For me, intimacy comes from communication, physical affection, and general time spent together. So from that end, a woman that's really loyal, genuine, and sweet is my cup of tea. But I also need a freak in bed. For me, sex is about pure physical pleasure and passion. I do enjoy softer, gentler love making every so often. But I prefer a woman more experienced that's uninhibited, kinky, and into rough sex with her being really submissive. If she's conservative, and vanilla wanting missionary 24-7 I'll get bored to death.

[rocketman122]

I can actually respect that a lot actually. What this tells me is that you're more conservative, and a "making love" type of woman. There is nothing wrong with this.

 

In the end it all comes down to personal preferences. For me, intimacy comes from communication, physical affection, and general time spent together. So from that end, a woman that's really loyal, genuine, and sweet is my cup of tea. But I also need a freak in bed. For me, sex is about pure physical pleasure and passion. I do enjoy softer, gentler love making every so often. But I prefer a woman more experienced that's uninhibited, kinky, and into rough sex with her being really submissive. If she's conservative, and vanilla wanting missionary 24-7 I'll get bored to death.

 

 

what a crock o shet. so any other women who has sex after the 3rd date is not making love type of woman?

 

you realize youre a hypocrite right? because you say

"more conservative"

but then right below you say

"But I prefer a woman more experienced that's uninhibited, kinky, and into rough sex with her being really submissive"

 

conservative is not a whore who will take it up the chuff then swallow right after. fitness trainer my azz

[rocketman122]

Interesting points of view guys. I guess for me is I wait to have sex because when I do I fall for the person immensely. Giving my body in such an intimate way is very important to me and I just want to make sure that the guy i'm seeing is on board for the long haul. I've been with 2 guys my whole life and both were long term relationships...never had a one night stand. It's more so of a protection mechanism because I don't want to get hurt if I give it up too soon

 

 

Ive never had a ons as well. as a pro wedding photog and a tall bodybuilder, its very easy for me to have easy prey for sex.

 

dont mix those who wait for sex to those wanting a serious relationship. youre a bit childish to think this way and shows you lack experience. you said it yourself youve only been with 2 guys.

 

I have clear intentions of a LTR relationship, and I offers I have for FWB from OLD dont attract me for a second. I cannot connect with a women with just talk. it must be intimacy.

 

and that BS women put out with my puewsey is a trophy and I want to give it to someone special is just that. I could easily just go with the flow, wait, screw her and then walk away right after. what promise do you have any man will stay. you have to see who the person is first before you do the lets wait crap.

 

I didnt think any less of the women I had relationships with when we got intimate after the 2-3 date. but you sound young so it may be the reason for your fairy tale mindset of this price making love to me crap. it doesnt exist though.

[fitnessfan365]

what a crock o shet. so any other women who has sex after the 3rd date is not making love type of woman?

 

you realize youre a hypocrite right? because you say

"more conservative"

but then right below you say

"But I prefer a woman more experienced that's uninhibited, kinky, and into rough sex with her being really submissive"

 

conservative is not a whore who will take it up the chuff then swallow right after. fitness trainer my azz

 

Whoh.. back the hell up. Did you even read her post? She says that she's only been with two guys sexually in her whole life and likes to wait until she's in love. THAT'S WHY SHE'S CONSERVATIVE,

 

As I said, I would never truly click with a woman with such little experience and conservative sexual tastes.

 

READ THIS JACKASS :

 

Interesting points of view guys. I guess for me is I wait to have sex because when I do I fall for the person immensely. Giving my body in such an intimate way is very important to me and I just want to make sure that the guy i'm seeing is on board for the long haul. I've been with 2 guys my whole life and both were long term relationships...never had a one night stand. It's more so of a protection mechanism because I don't want to get hurt if I give it up too soon

[BluEyeL]

OP every man is different. You should have sex when you're comfortable and never be afraid that the guy will walk. A decent man, with values, who likes and respects you, will have no problem waiting. If he can't wait, he's not for you, would have walked anyway after sex because he didn't care about you. See how the guy here who says he has a time limit talks about women in terms of "puhssey", not human beings, how sleazy.

 

In hindsight, when you find your match, you will understand that a man who walked on you just wasn't a good match for you. Of course you have to protect yourself. Take care and good luck!

Edited March 2, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Gaeta]

.. and I just want to make sure that the guy i'm seeing is on board for the long haul. I've been with 2 guys my whole life and both were long term relationships...never had a one night stand. It's more so of a protection mechanism because I don't want to get hurt if I give it up too soon

 

So when those 2 long terms relationship ended you were not hurt? Not having sex early protected you from what?

 

Sex is not something you give it up. It's an act you share as equal partners. It's not a gift, or something you give up, or something you trade for affection. You have sex when you want to have sex, don't hold it to play games, or blackmail affection out of it.

[elaine567]

- Why the 90 day rule doesn't work on players

[BluEyeL]

My point OP is this. Do not have sex out of any considerations other than when you're comfortable and willing to do it. Do not have sex out of fear that a guy will leave. Those who do, will leave anyway. Never do anything you're not comfortable with doing. Never ask yourself questions like that. Wait for sex as long as you need to understand what type of man you're dealing with and if he's a person of character, who respects and cares about you and who is kind and respects women in general. If that takes 2 days, great. But generally, it takes longer to know a person.

 

They'll wait. They always waited for me. This attitude always worked for me and this is why I am now in a long term loving relationship and I'm extremely happy. I dated over 30 men, but only slept with three. Define your own standards and never ever be afraid or care about what other people think.

[BluEyeL]

- Why the 90 day rule doesn't work on players

Don't date a player at all, unless you are into emotional self-harm. You can figure him out within 3 dates or less and walk before even you start to implement any kind of artificial rule.

[Gary S]

Waiting will not help if the guy is dating multiple women.

 

You have to get some real consideration - wait until he puts a ring on it.

[carhill]

I'm just curious as to if guys secretly like when girls set boundaries regarding sex and how long to wait, or if it truly doesn't matter to them if they are looking for a relationship. I know this guy likes me a lot as he has told me numerous times, and I really like him as well, but I can't help but wonder if it annoys him that I am making him wait for sex.

 

I've always set my own boundaries for sex, that being it occur within an exclusive and monogamous committed relationship. This was received with varying responses. Expect your boundaries to effect the same.

 

Do I secretly want a girl I like to say 'no' to sex? No, I want her boundaries regarding sex to be compatible with my own and say and enthusiastic 'yes!' to lovemaking respecting those boundaries. Clear as mud? Heh!

[Ruby Slippers]

Everybody values more what they earn, rather than what is handed to them with no effort on their part. It's the anticipation and longing for what we want that stirs up real emotions.

 

In short, I'll tell you what a guy friend told me: "If she's easy, she's not amazing. If she's amazing, she's not easy."

 

It doesn't matter if a man has a thousand options - if you're that one girl for him, he'll wait. And if you're not, you've lost nothing if he leaves.

 

Most importantly, wait until you're ready, and stand behind your commitment to wait until you are in love with him, and you're sure that he's in love with you. That doesn't happen in a handful of dates. It takes a while.

[Galeena]

I make man wait for me, no sex until marrige.

if man luv me he will wait for me.

i am a flower to be plucked in bloom, not broken and petals stomped.

i respekt my body, trashy to sex to soon for woman of virgin roots.

[Ruby Slippers]

If she's conservative, and vanilla wanting missionary 24-7 I'll get bored to death.

For most of my dating life, I've taken my sweet little time to start having sex, and I'm far from conservative in bed. But I have to trust and love a man before I really let loose. Once I do, just about anything goes. I want it all the time, and I'm usually described as wild and uninhibited. Discerning and prudent does not equal vanilla.

[spiderowl]

No I dont wait for sex. I cant bond just by talk. it doesnt work for me. 3 weeks was my limit and now im moving it to 2 weeks or 4 dates. thats it. I have way too many options.

 

a women who puts borders for me with sex can shove it. puewsey isnt some trophy to get because ive held up x amount of dates and wasted x amount of money on her.

 

I dont think any less of woman that wants sex on the 3rd date and sleeping earlier or later doesnt promise the guy will stay. I get emotionally attached aafter sex with the women but have no guilt or patience if she plays the lets wait shet. when you date a lot you quickly sense whos in it for real and whos in for fun. no way not me.

 

usually the ones who dont have offers or who dont look good have to be submissive and accepting till she spreads. Ive got too many options and I decide. they always text me the next few days of me walking away "is everything ok between us?" " hows everything, I havent heard from you" "if you change your mind you can call me"

 

theyre always attracted, I treat them nice and take them to nice places, but if I sense its not going intimate (by what they say and how they behave) I walk. theres TOO MANY options for me. I cant connect by talk only. intimacy and talk goes hand in hand for me. love hormone works for guys also.

 

Honestly, it doesn't sound like you are connecting at all, just having sex and leaving these women. You have lots of options obviously, but don't seem to care much about the women. That's not necessarily how others would want to run their love lives.

[Ruby Slippers]

Honestly, it doesn't sound like you are connecting at all, just having sex and leaving these women. You have lots of options obviously, but don't seem to care much about the women. That's not necessarily how others would want to run their love lives.

That's what I was thinking. So many wonderful "options", and none worth sticking with. Your posts are a warning letter about why women shouldn't get into bed fast.

[h0000]

What if you waited and waited and eventually found out he is extremely small or has bad erectile dysfunction.

[LongBeach00]

I don't think so. Sex is important and its the icing on the cake. Men and women need to know if they are sexual compatible.

[markleymassraff]

I've never been a waiter. I have sex pretty early on -- I've had it as early as first date, but I think only once or twice. Other times were more like between dates 3 and 6. For me, sex just lets things be more comfortable between me and the guy. It doesn't by any means mean that we "know each other." Not at all. I don't mistake it for "real intimacy." But for me it just goes hand in hand with talking and spending time with each other.

 

I know some people think that if you have already had sex, you will start to accept things about the person or overlook flaws that you wouldn't overlook or accept if you were more "clear minded" (hadn't had sex yet), but that is not the way it works for me. If I *like* a person (just a lot personality-wise, demeanor-wise) -- that is, if I'm highly attracted to them -- even if we haven't had sex, I will be biased in their favor.

 

Also, I have definitely had sex with a few men who I didn't then become in love with, so...it's not sex that causes the "rose colored glasses" thing; it's just whether I'm highly attracted to the person or not. And my being highly attracted isn't something I can control or say "let me not be too attracted to you until later after I know x, y, z, more things about you." I can't regulate my attraction to where I'm not so attracted that I can't walk away from them.

[rdet123]

Thanks everyone for the responses, got a mix of different opinions and all I will take into consideration. I'm not saying we don't do other stuff...he's a pretty endowed guy and our make out sessions are pretty passionate. The beginning is always the best for me, discovering their body and getting those butterflies in your stomach when you kiss. Well i'm still going to stick by my rule of waiting until I know full and well that I am truly in love with him, it's just nice to get insight on what other people think! Thanks all!