Orije Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 Hello LoveShack Community, It has been awhile since I made a thread on here, but I have a few questions regarding my new relationship so I don't make any mistakes in the future. I am 20 and my girlfriend is also 20. I met her on the dating app Tinder and We dated for about a month and are now a week into a relationship. We currently made us official on Facebook and everyone is now finding out about it. Our first date was great I took her out to eat at a nice family diner and we had sex first date. Within the first week she admitted that she likes me very much and I do everything I can to make her happy. I drive about 35 minutes to her college to see her, but that doesn't bother me. I do have a few things to ask. I do like her a lot and I am extremely happy to be with her. During this week I have been texting her a bunch asking about her day, initiating conversation, seeing how school is and things seem okay. She does take awhile to respond or doesn''t respond at all when i text her, its weird cause if i facebook message her it says she sees it, but sometimes replies or doesn't. I don't want to come off as clingy and ruin things. Should i slow down on the contact with her? We used to send a lot of "I miss you" texts and now when i send it cause i do miss her i get nothing. She has also said that I'm a softee and too nice to her. She also says I don't know when to say no cause i spoil her with my affection and stuff. Could that be a bad thing? Should I act tougher or not be too nice cause naturally I'm a kind and loving guy? I deleted the dating app once we were official and she said she has done the same yet I do notice she has random guys that she adds to friends on facebook almost everyday. That bothers me a bit also. If any advice or questions It will help a lot. Thank you!
preraph Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 Stop with all the "miss you" stuff. It's too much. She has class to concentrate on. She probably just leaves her phone open to facebook so it looks like she's there, but she's not. She has told you you are "too nice." That is probably her mild way of telling you you're going overboard with the "miss you" and too many texts. Why don't you just ask her the next time you are talking on the phone or in person if you should limit the number of texts. You will both burn out if you keep up this pace. Agree on how many day is okay. It gets old having to stop and type something that often. Agree on what is right for you both. 1
Samantha89 Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 I personally don't like when guys text me everyday. Tend to appreciate it more when every now and then you receive a sweet text. Stop texting her daily, and just drop it as a surprise when she least expects it! See if you can feel a change on her reaction!
d0nnivain Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 You have known this woman for 5 weeks. That's it. You are already too clingy & it's too much. She is backing off but you just push harder. Her comment that you are too soft & too nice to her is her telling you to stop being a doormat. 35 minutes is not a huge distance. Try contacting her less than once per day . . . every other day is enough. Do not send lengthy text messages or FB posts. Contact includes everything all social media platforms, texts, calls, & e-mails. So if you like something on her FB page do not text. Give her a chance to study. Let her actually miss you rather than smothering her with I miss you messages. It's Monday. Call her tomorrow -- not text, not FB, not e-mail, not snapchat, call using the voice feature on your phone. Set up a date for Friday & then limit your contacts to one more this week other than something earlier on Friday to confirm. That's it. When you call for the date, have a plan. Do not ask her what she wants to do. Do not say wanna hang out. Do not be wishy washy. Say do you want to go see XYZ movie with me on Friday? Great I'll pick you at 7!
Foretold Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 Hi Orije, I completely understand where you're coming from. The great thing is she told she likes you very much. Another huge plus is you have the same feeling toward her. Plenty of great advice from the other posters. I want to add that at 20 years old, typically people don't have much serious dating experience, and that can spell out "big trouble" very fast! So here's my advice along with other posters' advice - find a few hobbies and develop them. This can be singing, basketball, rock climbing, being part of a video gaming squad, being part of a new activities group, and so on. Fill your free time with your own interests outside of this relationship. That way you don't keep thinking about her and contacting her - because eventually she may get annoyed, and nobody wants that happening.
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