Aj123 Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 I've spoken to a work buddy of mine and he was telling me how when his GF dumped him for non serious reasons he went NC for 6 months. Until he decided to reach out to her to reconcile, and it was shortly after that they were talking for a couple weeks she said that she wanted to get back together. Now they have been married for 10+yrs Mostly everything i read is saying never make the first move when you are the dumpee, and that the dumper should be the one to come back to want a second chance. I know every situation is different but i was thinking that they probably never would have gotten back together or even get married if he didnt make the first move and i was thinking if i should apply this to my situation if i want to get my ex back. What do you guys think
Satu Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 (edited) No Contact is not a tool or strategy to get a partner back. It is a tool for healing. If you want to get a partner back, there are other options that might be more effective. Edited March 2, 2015 by Satu 1
Jonp219 Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 No Contact is not a tool or strategy to get a partner back. It is a tool for healing. If you want to get a partner back, there are other options that might be more effective. What might they be?
Mi7522 Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 What might they be? Probably the best way, I would suggest, is to contact her and see where you stand. If she doesn't say anything other than we should try again, I would take that for her not wanting you around romantically and should be your clue to move forward from her 1
Jonp219 Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 Probably the best way, I would suggest, is to contact her and see where you stand. If she doesn't say anything other than we should try again, I would take that for her not wanting you around romantically and should be your clue to move forward from her Hey Mi7522 Can you read my thread? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/517775-my-ex-started-crying-when-i-told-her-i-love-you What would you suggest is the best plan for me?
Simon Phoenix Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 A few things: 1. As for your friend, I'm guessing she would have reached out eventually even if he hadn't. 2. Only way you can reach out is if you are truly healed and fine no matter the result. If she tells you she wants you to suck an egg and drop dead, you have to be able to go "Meh, whatever". 3. What happened with your buddy is extraordinarily rare. For every time that works, there are 50 times it doesn't work. 4. If you are looking for plans to try to win your ex back, you are nowhere close to being able to contact her. Do you really want someone you have to strategize and fool into loving you? Wouldn't you rather have them want to love you without you having to play games and manipulate? Either way, you aren't at the state where you can contact this woman, so don't. Keep working on yourself during No Contact. If you just use No Contact as a waiting game, it's not going to be very effective, so be active in healing and evolving. 3
mightycpa Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 2. Only way you can reach out is if you are truly healed and fine no matter the result. If she tells you she wants you to suck an egg and drop dead, you have to be able to go "Meh, whatever". ^^^^^ This ^^^^^^ Because, at that point, both of you are starting over, and if it will ever work, she cannot see you in the same light that she saw you in when she dumped you. That's why it's not working for you right now. Sees you in the new light, whatever that is. You're trying to drag her back into something she doesn't want to be in. Your only hope is to move forward. Talk to your buddy about that.
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