adrian77 Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 He recently proposed. She is 46 and lives at home for 5 years after her second divorce with her 9 year old daughter and 8 year old son. She is a horder (and he sees this), no control over her kids. No money. Had a good job and child support but still had no money and he lends her money most months. Tons of ex husband drama. She lost her job because she wasn't doing a good job (constantly texting him) at it and got a new job for less money. She lives over 2 hours from his work and he is going to move out by her and drive that distance both ways every day? She is not very bright even though she has a masters (which she can't find a job in her field). Also she isn't attractive and she is heavy. He already has 2 grown children, he wants to to this all over again with a women who can't take care of herself? Just trying to understand because he had a really nice independent attractive woman before her. Also he isn't always with her on the weekends so you wonder if he is seeing other women. Although he did propose so....
ExpatInItaly Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 Perhaps he's in love with her? There's nothing to try to understand. People see things in different ways. But I think the better question is, what is your relationship to him and why do you care what he sees in her?
Trimmer Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 He recently proposed. She is 46 and lives at home for 5 years after her second divorce with her 9 year old daughter and 8 year old son. She is a horder (and he sees this), no control over her kids. No money. Had a good job and child support but still had no money and he lends her money most months. Tons of ex husband drama. She lost her job because she wasn't doing a good job (constantly texting him) at it and got a new job for less money. She lives over 2 hours from his work and he is going to move out by her and drive that distance both ways every day? She is not very bright even though she has a masters (which she can't find a job in her field). Also she isn't attractive and she is heavy. He already has 2 grown children, he wants to to this all over again with a women who can't take care of herself? Just trying to understand because he had a really nice independent attractive woman before her. Also he isn't always with her on the weekends so you wonder if he is seeing other women. Although he did propose so.... (1) Who the heck is "he"? (2) Why is it important for you to understand? (3) No, I don't wonder if he is seeing other women. Your post is in the second and third person - why does any of this matter to you? Why are you telling this story? 1
Author adrian77 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Posted March 1, 2015 I meant what does he see in her. And please don't ask why I care. I'm curious because people interest me. He goes from a great Independent women (at least she seemed that way) to someone completely different?
Ruby Slippers Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 Some people prefer to take care of their partner more as they would a child, for their own emotional reasons. Maybe he's very insecure, and having a more dependent, less together partner makes him feel needed and more assured that she won't cheat on him or leave. Or maybe in spite of her flaws, she's loving and sweet and just ticks all the right boxes for him.
kendahke Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 He recently proposed. She is 46 and lives at home for 5 years after her second divorce with her 9 year old daughter and 8 year old son. She is a horder (and he sees this), no control over her kids. No money. Had a good job and child support but still had no money and he lends her money most months. Tons of ex husband drama. She lost her job because she wasn't doing a good job (constantly texting him) at it and got a new job for less money. She lives over 2 hours from his work and he is going to move out by her and drive that distance both ways every day? She is not very bright even though she has a masters (which she can't find a job in her field). Also she isn't attractive and she is heavy. He already has 2 grown children, he wants to to this all over again with a women who can't take care of herself? Just trying to understand because he had a really nice independent attractive woman before her. Also he isn't always with her on the weekends so you wonder if he is seeing other women. Although he did propose so.... why do you care? Is this your dad? Too bad, I'm asking. Perhaps she does something he really likes that no other woman that he's met can do.
Author adrian77 Posted March 3, 2015 Author Posted March 3, 2015 I just don't understand the attraction to someone who can't take care of themselves.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 I just don't understand the attraction to someone who can't take care of themselves. Codependency. Low self-worth, seeking identity through association with another as helper.
bucktooth Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 I meant what does he see in her. And please don't ask why I care. I'm curious because people interest me. He goes from a great Independent women (at least she seemed that way) to someone completely different? Is this your friend you were talking about? Let him date whomever he wants. If he's happy what's your problem? Invest the time in your own life.
h0000 Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 Some people are F'ed up and they like F'ed up people.
bathtub-row Posted March 3, 2015 Posted March 3, 2015 I just don't understand the attraction to someone who can't take care of themselves. It's extremely odd, that's for sure. I would've ran at the hoarding thing.
Recommended Posts