Lynn36 Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 My boyfriend and I split up he moved out of our home we rented and a month and a half later we decided to give it another try, because we had lernt what our issues are and want to work on making it better. Three weeks after he left he got his new girlfriend pregnant accidentally. The condom slipped and resulted in a baby. He says he only started dating her when he found out i was on POF and had one date and was hanging w my FWB who i saw three times and almost had sex with. (i didn't hook up with anyone else in a month and a half becuause i just didnt have that in me to do,so i stuck with FWB as there was no commitment and a once in a blue moon meet). I told my boyfriend i was not looking for a commitment right now just to explore and see what was out there. He says he got jelous and angry and hurt so he then went on POF found some chick and then started dating her only 2 weeks after the split and his hadnt booked a moving van for his things. He didnt want to have sex w her but he caved and did twice!! He never used the morning after pill and though it would be ok. AND he acts out alot and that was one reason we split. He can be irrational and that scares me. Now look at what has happened because of that!! Back story: We had been trying for about a year and i couldn't get pregnant, without some help. He wanted me to have his last and only child and have that life we had dreamed of. There wasn't to be another woman's child EVER!!! It took one mistake in three weeks and she got pregnant and it took me a year and still no pregnancy. idk if i should stay, it was a mistake and i love him and could still get married have kids the whole nine yards. I can see a future with him, but with this over our heads it will make us working on us harder. Can i stick this out and move forward? I want to but this is a child i will have to have as a future step kid, can I live with this or will it be a constant reminder of what happend??
Gaeta Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 My boyfriend and I split up he moved out of our home we rented and a month and a half later we decided to give it another try, because we had lernt what our issues are and want to work on making it better. Three weeks after he left he got his new girlfriend pregnant accidentally. The condom slipped and resulted in a baby. He says he only started dating her when he found out i was on POF and had one date and was hanging w my FWB who i saw three times and almost had sex with. (i didn't hook up with anyone else in a month and a half becuause i just didnt have that in me to do,so i stuck with FWB as there was no commitment and a once in a blue moon meet). I told my boyfriend i was not looking for a commitment right now just to explore and see what was out there. He says he got jelous and angry and hurt so he then went on POF found some chick and then started dating her only 2 weeks after the split and his hadnt booked a moving van for his things. He didnt want to have sex w her but he caved and did twice!! He never used the morning after pill and though it would be ok. AND he acts out alot and that was one reason we split. He can be irrational and that scares me. Now look at what has happened because of that!! Back story: We had been trying for about a year and i couldn't get pregnant, without some help. He wanted me to have his last and only child and have that life we had dreamed of. There wasn't to be another woman's child EVER!!! It took one mistake in three weeks and she got pregnant and it took me a year and still no pregnancy. idk if i should stay, it was a mistake and i love him and could still get married have kids the whole nine yards. I can see a future with him, but with this over our heads it will make us working on us harder. Can i stick this out and move forward? I want to but this is a child i will have to have as a future step kid, can I live with this or will it be a constant reminder of what happend?? * The thing that stands out the most to me is that as soon as you split up both of you had sex right away with a gf and a fwb. Is this the type of life partner you want? The kind that moves out, acts out, instead of working on issues? As I see it non of you are ready for long term and the kind of commitment it demands. * Ya right he did not want to have sex with her. She made him do it right! So he's just going to beleive that he is the father of that child? That woman probably had sex with other partners during that same period of time. * If you 2 had shown more maturity I would have said yes some people do work through it just find. I happen to know a lady that got pregnant while cheating on her husband, he took her back and the child. Five years that lady died of cancer and he raised that little girl on his own, she was the most important thing in his life. Can you and your boyfriend rise above this situation, handle it as a team, offer a loving home to this child? Is your boyfriend mature enough for this? or he will run away and make babies to other women each time the going gets though for you 2? 2
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Sounds like both of you made some decisions to regret - **** happens , its life. You bet it makes things complicated adding a Baby Mama to the mix.. Haha. Hope it works out for you guys.
TigerCub Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 'He didn't want to have sex with her' It's lies like this that make me wonder - Really? why does a person bother with such a lie and how do they keep a straight face when they say it and Who believes such a lie? And apparently OP, you do - I don't know how. I'm sorry that this whole mess happened, especially since you really wanted to have a child with him but were having a hard time. I am truly sorry for that. Either way - if you do decide to stay with him, he should get a paternity test done. This is a tough one - you need to be really honest with yourself and ask yourself 'If you stay together and it turns out that's his kid, and for whatever reason you can't have a child, would you be alright with that - with raising some other woman's child part time with him, for having that woman in your life for as long as you are with him' You really need to be honest with yourself about all your options and what you are capable of handling. 1
No Limit Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 If you're not in your 40s+, move on. There are guys your age without children so you won't have to deal with child support costs (which you would have to take over if you married him and he'd lose his job by the way). There's no "accident pregnancy"; if he still doesn't know where the babies are coming from he's not even mature enough to be a sexual partner. Tell him to read up on sexual education - reproduction specifically - and go no contact for good.
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