ThisisIt606 Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 I Went on a first date with a guy I met off okc. I felt it went really well and honestly enjoyed talking with him. It lasted about 2.5 hours and he walked me home. He's a resident doc so our date the previous night got canceled / rescheduled. He kept thanking me for being so amazing, understanding etc. He admitted its been hard to date bc of his hours. We also ran into his old female friend ( also a resident) at the bar with her bf, he again thanked me for being so amazing that I didn't seem bothered when all four of us talked for a bit. Finally a bar spot opened up and we got some drinks. He asked if I wanted another round and some appetizers and I said that sounded good. He asked me a lot of questions about myself and was really funny and making physical contact a lot (nothing gross just arm/ leg touching to emphasize a point etc). I was receptive but didn't touch him back. I asked him some questions about him self and we found out we have quite a bit in common in terms of work interests, hobbies, and where our family lives/culturally. He sent me this text after the date. I play the same instrument as the performer in the link and he thought I'd enjoy it. On the date he told me he'd send it and he sent it while he was walking me home. I replied a bit after I got back inside. HIM: *texted me a link to a musician's performance-Youtube Video* ME: Just watched. He's really good! Much more enjoyable than a twirling Lindsay Stirling haha. Thanks for a fun time tonight Him: Haha awesome! Glad you enjoyed it Had a great time with you. Thanks again for being so understanding. Have a great night. ME: Have a good night! I had a great time with him and would like to see him again. He warned me his schedule was crazy and he was working this weekend and probably next weekend as well. I'm familiar with the schedules as I work in the same environment but don't have his job, so I do understand. Would it be ok to text something like "Hope you survived your weekend ;)" on Monday? Since we're both into health, I was thinking of sharing a youtube link to a recent funny get your kids vaccinated video. I know " if he's interested he will text" but he seemed to honestly feel bad ( by the amount he was apologizing) about his schedule. I'd just like to throw something out there to see where it goes... But just not quite sure what to text, thoughts? or IF to text?
trolloperative Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Don't text/initiate. "Busy schedule" usually = not interested (enough). 1
Author ThisisIt606 Posted February 28, 2015 Author Posted February 28, 2015 I understand "busy schedule" usually means "not interested". However this is not an office job and he's still practicing/being trained with round the clock hours. He explained he will be home for a few hours to sleep on saturday, wake up at 6pm, eat and then pull another long shift and his internal clock is often out of wack. He seemed to feel very guilty about having to postpone date 1 (I was the one who asked to do it a different day ultimately bc i didn't want to meet at 8:30pm). I guess I don't want to just pass up something that could be good if he has already feels so bad about his schedule and lack of time. THe female resident friend we bumped into, he said her bf lived out of state. He said that's sometimes easier bc it's not always on her that they can't see each other often-- it's the distance that keeps getting together hard.
Vintage79 Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 I'v dated MDs and surgeons before - I get the schedule. It's tough, but if they're interested, you can tell if they're trying to make room for you. Regardless - it's perfectly fine to text him something light - just don't send him multiple messages unless he responds. Frequently following first dates that I though went well, the girl usually texts me the next day (even if I haven't texted her) - it's always nice. He's busy and doesn't have time to play games, so don't try to hide - his schedule and job is such that he can easily lose track of time and keep you really wondering, even if he doesn't intend to be that way. Just try to make the process a bit easier and to stay on his radar. As mentioned, though, don't send multiple messages unless he responds - one is totally fair and nice. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 After a couple days you can prod him with a simple text (don't go overboard with youtube videos like you said) - but yeah he should be taking the lead on setting up a 2nd date, otherwise you can write him off as not interested. 1
guest569 Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Hmm, calm down a bit .. Wait and see what happens. It sounds like it went well. 1
Macattack Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 Don't text/initiate. "Busy schedule" usually = not interested (enough). Worst advice, considering doctors are known to have very busy schedules. What would you do if you went to the hospital and all the doctors were on dates and refuse to show up at the hospital? 2
katiegrl Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 Worst advice, considering doctors are known to have very busy schedules. What would you do if you went to the hospital and all the doctors were on dates and refuse to show up at the hospital? LOL ...good point! 1
Author ThisisIt606 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Posted March 1, 2015 I only spoke to one friend about it and she said to text him. Two honest feelings I got from the date. 1) He's a very friendly and talkative guy with most people, but he seemed to like me/enjoy spending time with me. Although a bit hard to tell if it was *me* that made him act so happy since he had such a great personality it seemed. 2) Hesitant to "start something" in terms of respecting the other person's feeling and time. I think he may be tentative to make a move bc he knows his schedule is so unpredictable and it will not be a standard dating experience. With that said, I think he's worth a shot... I liked him and won't ask him out again, but will at least get convo going. I think the funny vaccine youtube might be good convo topic. I want him to know I'm interested, bc he certainly seemed so on the date. I don't feel as though i'm way off target by texting. Dating is just so hard now adays it seems...Would be nice if he made the initial move, but I suppose I will be able to tell soon enough by his reaction to my text to gauge his interest.
Auspecial Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 I think the funny vaccine youtube might be good convo topic. I want him to know I'm interested, bc he certainly seemed so on the date. I don't feel as though i'm way off target by texting. Dating is just so hard now adays it seems...Would be nice if he made the initial move, but I suppose I will be able to tell soon enough by his reaction to my text to gauge his interest. I think its a great idea. Go with it. There's nothing to be lost by sending him the link to a mutually interesting video. 1
minimariah Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 I understand "busy schedule" usually means "not interested". However this is not an office job and he's still practicing/being trained with round the clock hours. if he is interested enough - he will definitely make time & this is coming from a fellow (female) resident. my hours are INSANE but when i really wanted to meet a guy - i definitely found time. as simple as that. to answer your Qs - you should send him that link & that text sounds good to me. if you're interested - go for it. you'll know soon enough if he's interested in you as much as you are in him.
Author ThisisIt606 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Posted March 1, 2015 I guess I'm just tentative bc I did date a medical resident for a small bit of time. He made plans to see me fairly often and was good about texting. He even asked to see me an hour after he got off a long shift ( just gave himself time to shower first). Although our dates were short, I thought he must really like me since he's making an effort. TUrns out he tried to put the moves on me "i think you're wearing too many clothes.. take off your pants, come on you're wearing too many clothes" after only a few times of hanging out. I said "no". Then all of a sudden he was "so tired" and I never heard from him again.... So while the "interest" in forms of texting and making time to see me was there, his intentions turned out to be bad/ not what I'm looking for.
Gary S Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 He texted you after the date - this suggests he's interested. I usually don't suggest women chase - men are usually the pursuers, so why risk rejection if you don't have to?
Recommended Posts