I know I'm in the wrong relationship...

[NYCgirl88]

So, I posted here a in December about wanting to move in with my boyfriend of 5 years and him not being ready.

 

I brought it up again about a month ago by giving him a heads up and letting him know I wanted to talk about it that weekend so to think about it beforehand. That night, he ended up picking a fight with me about something completely unrelated, so I didn't even get to talk about it.

 

I feel really insecure in our relationship. He's always been the type of person who needs some space, and I try to give it to him, but in return, he hasn't been giving me anything back. If I text him, I hear from him 3 hours later. He's not on his phone as much as most people, but he's clearly seen that I've texted or called before 3 hours. When he does things like that, it causes me to be overly clingy and probably the opposite of what he wants. I'm not saying who's fault it is, but it's an ongoing cycle, and I'm starting to realize, that maybe he needs to be with someone more independent, and I need to be with someone who actually wants to talk to me.

 

I've been in a relationship before where I've felt secure (he wasn't the right guy for me), but I never felt the need to know where he was all the time, or check his phone, or get anxious when we were apart, or any of the things I feel with my boyfriend now.

 

I don't think I'm being unrealistic with what I want, but he makes me feel like I'm crazy. I just don't think that this relationship is right for either of us anymore. But, I don't know how to end it. I think I'd be miserable. Our friends are friends, our family's are friends, I don't know how I'd get through it. But we've talked a lot, and we both know what we could do to accommodate the other person's needs, but I feel like I'm the only one trying. I REALLY wanted to make it work, but I just don't think it's realistic anymore.

 

I hate the thought of being single, but I'm starting to think I'd be more happy alone than in a relationship where I'm anxious and insecure. I don't know how to make this decision, and I don't know how I'd get through it once I did.

 

I don't want to be sad all the time and have it affect my work and the rest of my life. I don't know if I'd be more happy in a relationship where I'm unhappy than if I was alone. I just don't know what to do and I really need help with deciding and getting through it.

 

Thanks -

[deathandtaxes]

"This isn't working. I can't see you anymore."

 

That's a good start. And then just go from there. At least be thankful you hadn't moved in with him and feel this way. Although five years and not moved in? Hmm.