Author tanbark813 Posted April 21, 2005 Author Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by SexKitten i don't mind paying if i expect to, but if a guy asks me out, then i'm thinking he is going to pay. which, unfortunately, just doesn't seem to be happening for me anyway. Unless you stole that avatar, I am at a loss as to why you don't get asked out.
Dreamgirl03 Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 I usually assume the guy is paying at least in the beginning..once we have been officially dating for awhile i`ll pay half or cover the whole thing every now and then, but its just like a thing that is assumed that the guy is paying unless dicussed prior to that.
joel Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 ok how did being asain make it a assumtion that he pays for it all. i'm asian and i'll pay for it all as long as it ain't too $$$ but i hate to pay all of if its expensive. Originally posted by nzchick i always assume the guy's going to pay if he's asian. if he's not.. i still want the guy to pay, but il offer to pay for my part.. and if he doesnt want it.. then sure he can pay for us hehe
HokeyReligions Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 If a guy asks me out - he pays. If I ask a guy out -- I pay. That has always seemed fair. If a guy asks me out dutch, then we split. "Wanna get together on Saturday for dinnger & a movie -- dutch treat?" my answer (if I liked the guy and wanted to go) would be 'yes' and we would both go knowing that the bill was going to be split. If he says "wanna get together Saturday for dinner and a movie?" then I expect him to pay for me since he didn't qualify the invitation with "dutch treat" or "split the cost" or something similar to tell me that he expected me to pay for half. I would not assume if I asked someone out that they would be wondering if they were supposed to pay half unless I qualified it first. Has that changed in the last 30 years? Do people not communicate?
nzchick Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 Originally posted by joel ok how did being asain make it a assumtion that he pays for it all. i'm asian and i'll pay for it all as long as it ain't too $$$ but i hate to pay all of if its expensive. Hehe well coz asians in general are gentlemen.. and love to treat a woman like a princess thats a compliment for you! You're filipino arent you? just a guess coz your name sounds filipino
tokyo Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 Originally posted by HokeyReligions If a guy asks me out - he pays. If I ask a guy out -- I pay. That has always seemed fair. If a guy asks me out dutch, then we split. "Wanna get together on Saturday for dinnger & a movie -- dutch treat?" my answer (if I liked the guy and wanted to go) would be 'yes' and we would both go knowing that the bill was going to be split. If he says "wanna get together Saturday for dinner and a movie?" then I expect him to pay for me since he didn't qualify the invitation with "dutch treat" or "split the cost" or something similar to tell me that he expected me to pay for half. I would not assume if I asked someone out that they would be wondering if they were supposed to pay half unless I qualified it first. Has that changed in the last 30 years? Do people not communicate? Hm, that is when this is a guy you are dating or does this also apply when a friend asks you out? And what if it's a female friend?
faux Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 It is wrong for one person to expect the other person to pay. It is also wrong to assume that one person will be paying if payment was not discussed beforehand. If you want to expect me to pay for everything on a date, then don't complain when I "expect" you to hold to "tradition" and wash my clothes, cook me some dinner, and clean my house. I think it is also wrong for a person to "expect" those types of things from a woman.
johan Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 Originally posted by faux It is wrong for one person to expect the other person to pay. It is also wrong to assume that one person will be paying if payment was not discussed beforehand. If you want to expect me to pay for everything on a date, then don't complain when I "expect" you to hold to "tradition" and wash my clothes, cook me some dinner, and clean my house. I think it is also wrong for a person to "expect" those types of things from a woman. Sounds like a lawyer should be involved with every step of the process. I pay for everything on a date, because I'm not hung up on money and that keeps it simple. I just try not to schedule something that will clean out my accounts. I appreciate it when she offers to pay part, but I usually just tell her she can get the next one. If she insists, then I'll let her pay whatever she wants if she needs to keep her conscience clear.
alphamale Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 Originally posted by johan I pay for everything on a date, because I'm not hung up on money and that keeps it simple. I just try not to schedule something that will clean out my accounts. I appreciate it when she offers to pay part, but I usually just tell her she can get the next one. If she insists, then I'll let her pay whatever she wants if she needs to keep her conscience clear. I do the same JOHAN but for a different motive. By paying most of the time I keep control in my hands. When I am paying I get to decide where we go, when we go, if we go. Etc....
agnf666 Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 Here is my situation with it. I the begining of the relationship the guy should pay for the first few dates. It shows that he is a nice guy. After that it should be a fifty-fifty thing. That all goes along with if you met a nice guy that will pay for you... or you get the " just want piece of ass" guy that wants you to pay for everything.
amerikajin Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 If the guy asks the girl out, he should pay - at least for the first date. That's why it's best to do like a casual coffee date or something along those lines beforehand, just to see if this is the kind of person you'd mind spending more money on. I think the guy should be prepared to pay for everything, but if the woman I'm with doesn't offer to pay for at least some of it, she's out. I'm not really asking for her to pay even a penny, I'm just asking her to consider someone other than herself. That's a good test, I think.
faux Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 Originally posted by amerikajin If the guy asks the girl out, he should pay - at least for the first date. That's why it's best to do like a casual coffee date or something along those lines beforehand, just to see if this is the kind of person you'd mind spending more money on. I think the guy should be prepared to pay for everything, but if the woman I'm with doesn't offer to pay for at least some of it, she's out. I'm not really asking for her to pay even a penny, I'm just asking her to consider someone other than herself. That's a good test, I think. I agree with you. I still do not think it is correct for a person to expect another person to continually foot the bill. Originally posted by johan Sounds like a lawyer should be involved with every step of the process. I pay for everything on a date, because I'm not hung up on money and that keeps it simple. I just try not to schedule something that will clean out my accounts. I appreciate it when she offers to pay part, but I usually just tell her she can get the next one. If she insists, then I'll let her pay whatever she wants if she needs to keep her conscience clear. There is no problem in planning to pay for another person. I see a problem in having a person expect constant handouts. I think it is always wise to ensure that a date will not make one poor when it is over. Money is not the issue here for me. To me, expecting something of a person can border on taking advantage of that person.
Tameson Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 Alright, how about this one: After spending a few hundreds on her in terms of dinners, gifts, and gas, she only offered ONCE to pay SPLIT the bill. Then I play Mr. Psychology with her and caught her in her trap. I simply told her "You're richer than me". Girls like hearing that I suppose, and she did smile. So now, whenever she says she has no money, I just tell myself in my head "She's lying to me". Then I ask if she ever lies to me, and she gives me the all famous "No Honey, I don't and will never lie to you". Oh and she also lies to her Mother so the Mother doesn't find out about me because she is apparently "Very Strict" not to mention that she never wants me coming over and not once has she let me meet her mom. She always eats at my place but never buys any lunch. Once I told her I was very hungry and forgot my lunch, and I knew she had some food with her, and all she gave me was three slices of cheese. Not to mention she had a sandwhich, yougurt, and a whole bunch of other things to eat. I mean is it normal for girls to be sooo CHEAP? The guy, well me in this case, always provide her with food when she wants, and always take her out. Yet, she never wants to share any of her food and never wants to eat out (won't even offer to pay for a $2 Hamburger). Hence, am I correct to say that girls just want money money and service, or is it only my girl?
nzchick Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 Originally posted by Tameson She always eats at my place but never buys any lunch. Once I told her I was very hungry and forgot my lunch, and I knew she had some food with her, and all she gave me was three slices of cheese. Not to mention she had a sandwhich, yougurt, and a whole bunch of other things to eat. I mean is it normal for girls to be sooo CHEAP? The guy, well me in this case, always provide her with food when she wants, and always take her out. Yet, she never wants to share any of her food and never wants to eat out (won't even offer to pay for a $2 Hamburger). Hence, am I correct to say that girls just want money money and service, or is it only my girl? Whoa this girl is just too much! I hardly pay for all of my ex bf's food etc.. but when they dont have money or food.. I always pay! This girl's just a meanie!
moimeme Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 To me, expecting something of a person can border on taking advantage of that person. EXACTLY!!!!! Hence, am I correct to say that girls just want money money and service, or is it only my girl? It is always incorrect in spades to judge all humans because of your limited experiences with one, a few, or even a couple hundred humans. There are 6 billion of us on the planet and we are all different. You have a selfish gf. There are generous women, selfish women, self-sacrificing women, and every permutation in between, just as there are men. Lose the cheapskate and find someone who is kinder than to stuff her face while letting you starve.
amerikajin Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Tameson, Your girl's using you as a meal ticket. She's taking advantage of you because she knows you'll probably put up with her s***. Stop. Lose her.
iichloegirl Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Most girls seem to always expect the guy to pay and treat them like princessess bowing to their every whim. With my current bf I offered to take him out and pay for everything after our 1-2nd date. (we went out twice in one day so not really sure if that couns as two or one). I think whoever asks for the first two should pay then after that it should just be equal.
Tameson Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Problem: What is a smooth way to lose this girl of mine? She obviously doesn't bring the happyness one expects from a relationship. She is selfish in my opinion, and I have told her that yet it just seems as it goes in one ear and out the other. I make myself believe she had a hard past (her father and uncle died from illlnesses when she was young), so I make myself think it is acceptable. But now that I think further, wouldn't such a "past" make someone more genereous and less cheap? Well if I can get any help on how to dump her or how to make HER dump me (this way I won't feel soo bad), then let me know. Thanks Peace!
mental_traveller Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 I'm not too worried about that as we're both pretty direct people. I'm just curious to see if she'll offer or not. Like I said, I don't really mind paying, I just don't like that it was verbally expressed that it was expected of me. That's not cool. I agree and have a similar attitude to you. I don't mind paying, but I've always noticed that the nicer girls offer to pay pretty soon, even if they don't have much money themselves. So now I think of the initial payment as a kind of investment to see what type of girl I am dating. Looks like your investment has just given you some useful info!
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