alphamale Posted April 9, 2005 Posted April 9, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer I can imagine: - sausage for the entree - cucumber for salad - banana for dessert (with whipped cream) do I sense some penis envy there R.P.??
GirlDown Posted April 9, 2005 Posted April 9, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale do I sense some penis envy there R.P.?? well, i don't know about R.P., but i wouldn't definitely like to have a penis and see what it feels like for a man, just for a day. i guess that's my form of penis envy.
blind_otter Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Actually, it was pretty funny. This is what I mean by my remarks earlier. People who are still looking to Dad to help pick their mates may well still be expecting to be taken care of. Sure it's nice if Dad likes your beau, but Dad won't be living with him so his opinion only counts so much. I dunno. My Dad is 75, has lived all over the world, was married 3 times. I trust his judgement. I think this is because you don't have notoriously sh*tty judgement in men, but I personally need outside opinions. That's just me. Not trying to step on anyone's toes, but I just like it if my family likes the guy....because in MY family, you do have to deal with my family members on a regular basis, if you deal with me, so....nuff said. Different people have different family structures, though, and some people interact with their families more than others. I happen to be one of those crazy people who is around their family all the time.
amerikajin Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 I think it depends on the circumstances, and the culture. In Japan, a man insisting on paying for a date is pretty much guaranteed NOT to have a second date. Japanese women are extremely anxious in the presence of foreigners, and they tend to regard a guy who pays for a date as a manipulator who's just out for sex - which is probably true at least half the time, maybe even more than half. To Japanese women, paying for her meal is akin to bribery, and it also makes them feel obligated to pay them back in some way, which almost inevitably causes the relationship to crash and burn. As far as Western women are concerned, it depends on the type of atmosphere you're trying to create. If you're going for the classic dinner date, then you're in a sense obligated to follow traditional protocol, and traditionally, the dude pays - at least on the first date. After that, you take it as it comes. I'd probably pay for the second one, too, but if she didn't at least offer to pay for some of it, I'd probably start to have a negative view of this girl, especially if we weren't going anywhere. Let's face it: from a guy's point of view, if he's going to separate from his cold, hard cash, there has to be compensation in the form of pleasure. I can throw away money on a good CD, a porn tape and some lubricant - and I know that my right hand won't fail me.
CurlyIam Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 In my case, I don't let guys pay for me on the first dates. I have to know him well, to trust him in order to let him do that. I hate the guys who think that if they've paid for a glass of champaign, they own you. So if I really like (and trust) the guy, I let him pay. I've let only one do that for me so far - my ex. Before him, even during my 4 years of relationship with the previous guy, I would always pay for my share and more than half of the expenses when we were living together.
blind_otter Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 There is something quaint about a guy who insists on paying for things, and carrying bags, and opening doors. I met someone who is like that recently, and I am overcome with "awwwww, that's so cuuuuuute" feelings when he does this. And I am pretty independent, but since he has spent a buttload of money on visiting me, I occassionally will drop the cash for a lunch or a dinner, and he always seems surprised and a little taken aback. I wonder, if guys are really traditional and always pick up the tab, if they think less of a chick for paying forthings occassionally??
alphamale Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter I wonder, if guys are really traditional and always pick up the tab, if they think less of a chick for paying forthings occassionally?? No they like it when she pays for things on occasion.
KissMyTiara Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Originally posted by KissMyTiara If I am on an official "date" with a guy, I expect him to pay. I do. After one or two dates, I'll offer to pay for something...the movie tickets, a round of drinks, etc., and while I'm more than willing to pay the tab here and there, to be 100% honest, if he doesn't even try to fight me on my offer to pay, I'm pissed. Chivalry is not supposed to be dead. Unfortunately for the guy, to be a gentleman, he's expected to pay for the dates. Period. He's also supposed to open the doors, pull out the chairs, stand when she leaves to use the ladies room, carry her shopping bags/luggage, that sort of thing. These are not womanly-moves, and yes, he's supposed to do these things EVERY TIME DURING THE COURTING PROCESS. Once you're actually in a relationship and not just dating, the $$ thing changes - or it should. But everything else remains the same. Be a man and quit whining about it.
Author tanbark813 Posted April 11, 2005 Author Posted April 11, 2005 Originally posted by KissMyTiara Be a man and quit whining about it. I do, woman. I open doors, pay for dinner, all that stuff. Now get back in the kitchen and fetch me a beer.
alphamale Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Originally posted by KissMyTiara Be a man and quit whining about it. things are the way they are for a number or reasons that are time-tested. you younger people won't understand until you get older.
Author tanbark813 Posted April 11, 2005 Author Posted April 11, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale things are the way they are for a number or reasons that are time-tested. you younger people won't understand until you get older. Yeah, you're probably right. So what was dating like before they invented cars, ALPHA?
KissMyTiara Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 I thought alphamale was only like 19 or something...?
alphamale Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Originally posted by KissMyTiara I thought alphamale was only like 19 or something...? I turned 40 a few wks ago.
moimeme Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 Yeah, you're probably right. So what was dating like before they invented cars, ALPHA? Scorch!
kalie Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 I have not posted in some time. So Im pretty new here. When I first started dating my guy he picked up the check. I almost felt funny offering to pay for dinner. I did little things to pay him back, and it wasnt sex. Sex waited and so did he for a good three months with this relationship (thats another thread im sure) So after the first few dinners I started taking him for icecream afterwards, or Id say....lets hit a movie and Id pay. Now we pretty much share meal expenses and such. ITs been a year and an engagement ring later. So we pretty much share costs. Although he paid for our vegas and cancun trip ( I bought little goodies while there for him) Our relationship is in trouble in other ways.....gonna go find that thread!
Hungryhorse Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 Recently have been on second date, he phoned me up last week to ask if I wanted to go for a meal, at the end of the meal when the bill came I offered to pay for my share I expected him to say “no that’s ok I’ll get it” as my last couple of boyfriends never let me pay even when I wanted to. I only had a salad, no starters or puddings out of consideration for him! Where it isn’t really a problem as I have the money and the issue isn’t really money at all it kind of has killed my attraction for this guy, he was doing well until this point. I am aware if a guy is really interested in impressing you he is more than happy to pay. He has asked me out on a third date but I don’t think I can be bothered I might have to pay to accompany him! If he was poor I could even understand it but he has a good job and probably earns three times as much as I do, makes me think he is tight and could carry this on all through our relationship assuming we had one!
chubachoop Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 My ex earnt twice as much as my boyfriend does (and 4 times as much as me) and expected me to share the costs of everything. He used to go on lots of trips away and cause I couldnt afford it he went on his own. My boyfriend pays for me when we go out but if Ive got money and he hasnt (which is rare at the moment coz im at school) I pay for things. I buy my own drinks but if hes treating me, he pays and he takes me on weekends away.I like this, maybe Im old fashioned but he seems more of a man.
Jtizzle Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 Most of the time i date dudes i end up spending more time and money on them than them on me. like my last bf. he didnt have much of nothin and he was going thru some hard times and screwed up his life a little bit. so when we were dating i had to foot the bill for everything..paid for dinner, movies, bowlin, hotels,got gifts for him. just everything..i worked alot then, so we only went out like a good four times and during those four times i spent over a good five hundred on him to his mayb 20 on me for sum roses. i dont really get to choose if i want to pay or not, its like the broke ones always seem to find me. but if i do meet a nice young fellow that has his own money and whanot..i would let him pay for the first two dates, and then ill surprise him by a night on me.when you get on my good side, i spoil ya rotten ...so on that note i guess we would share the whole who pays for what thing
SexKitten Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 i don't mind paying if i expect to, but if a guy asks me out, then i'm thinking he is going to pay. which, unfortunately, just doesn't seem to be happening for me anyway.
nzchick Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 i always assume the guy's going to pay if he's asian. if he's not.. i still want the guy to pay, but il offer to pay for my part.. and if he doesnt want it.. then sure he can pay for us hehe
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