mwesslink Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 (edited) I met the girl of my dreams again one night while getting a coffee on the way home from a night out on the town, we met a few years ago while i was working at the same service station and also in a relationship with someone. I pretended to be single and I destoryed my relationship at the time to be with this dream girl and we only saw each other in the park at night. SHE was the best thing that had happened to me in my whole life. She ran up to the door of the station and waved hello to me, it took me a few moments to realise who it was. We went for a drive down to the beach with her friends and we hugged and kissed in the back of the car. We swapped numbers and promised to talk to each other again. I was sleeping with whoever i could and i hate to say it was good at the time, but i couldnt just stop when i met her. The next night i was back in the city again with friends and travelling all over the city, i ended up making out with one of the women i was in town with. I was enjoying this lifestyle and was only thinking about myself and trying to get sex. My new Partner and i talked via text messages for a few days and eventually we started to see each other at night down by the beach or wherever we could just sit and talk. While i was just talking to my partner, i was still having sex with other woman as i believed we werent dating but i should have realised that she was the one for me and stopped everything. She came to my parents place where i was living on afternoon and we had our adult fun. We looked at booking a little alone time in the hills and with the help of a voucher my parents gave me i booked a retreat for us. We had our fun up at the nest, it was a nice romantic getaway for us. I really enjoyed the time we had there, it was the best thing that i had in the last 5 years. I was still hooked on prostitues while i was with my partner, that was until i had wasted my money, i flirted with everyone that i could and i kept doing it until i was caught out on it. I lied to my partner and betrayed her trust and respect in me. I was always trying to make myself the centre of attention and make myself look good to her friends, but really i was just making myself look like the ******* that i was at the time. I stole a personal porn movie that someone made with one of their partners and kept it hidden on my computer and i still called them a friend, i was in love with her at one point and i claimed the only reason i kept talking to her was because she owed me money. My partner showed me that after i stole that movie, i had no right to be her friend and that i should just forget it and walk away. I used to be in love with this girl. I used the excuse that i needed to drop something at my parents house one night to get away, i dropped a laptop at my parents house and left to go see a prostitue and came home a couple of hours later. I used to see the person i stole the porn from on the way home from work, even though i knew my partner didnt want me to talk to her. I lost my job with the service station because i flirted and talked about sex with a female employee, she was under age but i still have to say i didnt know she was only 17. Yes , i deserved it , i shouldnt have been talking to anyone about anything sexual but my own partner. I was messaging other women through KiK and Facebook and after i deleted kik and the facebook messages. i pretended that i was single to try and have more people to have sex with, that was my addiction and i have realised how bad it was. I destroyed my relationship with the BEST and GREATEST woman to ever walk into my life. I would look at the ads on craigslist and masturbate at every chance i got, i started to use the hidden pages part of my browser to hide what i was doing because she would check up on me. I wasted thousands of dollars that i should have been spending on her on prostitues and other useless things. I was also addicted to my computer games and would get aggressive and so fixated on them that i would get angry if someone disturbed me or i couldnt play. My partner knew that i cheated on her and she gave me another chance, her mum was sick when i first saw her again, and towards the middle of our relationship her mum died. I had lost my job a few weeks earlier and i devoted all my attention into making sure she was good. I should have been getting off my arse to look for a new job but i used the death in her family as an excuse to not look for work. I should have stepped up and actually became the man i needed to be and not the boy i was behaving like. We broke up and i acted like a little girl who had a candy bar taken from her, i cried for 2 days straight before i started spending time with her. It took us being seperated to realise that SHE WAS THE BEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD, INTELLIGENT , BEAUTIFUL , FUNNY and A REAL LIFE CHANGER. She taught me that the computer was just holding me back , that if i wanted something i should have stepped up and taken it. I learnt that you cant always have what you want but most of all, IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP , YOU NEED TO COMMUNICATE AND BE HONEST WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE. It took me the destruction of our relationship and not being able to always be with her whenever i wanted to realise just how much i want her in my life. How can i ever make it up to her? Edited February 28, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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