quidproquo89 Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 A girl I work with get on well. She text me for a few weeks, everyday without fail. She has a boyfriend who she lives with. Now, normally I wouldn't condone this sort of thing. I wont get involved in cheating. (Excuse the lack of paragraphs, this wont let me do them for some reason). She made it obvious she is unhappy with him but has no where else to go. I said we can do nothing until she is living on her away from him and single. She agreed. I have given her a couple of months, neither has texted the other. I don't know if she is still interested in me or not and I feel I cannot ask because we have dealt with al this. This next bit sounds crazy, and it is, but I wanted to get it off my chest on this site. I am at the stage where moving out is something I would like to look into doing. Would it be completely nuts to see if she wants to be roommates with me? Just let her get back on her feet and if/when she is ready look into dating. Or is this all just very messy. Don't grill me too harshly on this please. I state again that we have not done anything untoward whilst she is with this other guy.
Author quidproquo89 Posted February 27, 2015 Author Posted February 27, 2015 is moving in with a colleague with the possibility of dating all that crazy?
mammasita Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 is moving in with a colleague with the possibility of dating all that crazy? IMO its a little crazy. Its like dating someone you work with. You don't even know her. Sure you could say the same about finding a roommate on craigslist, but you're not finding that roommate on craigslist with intent to be intimate. Intimacy changes EVERYTHING.
Author quidproquo89 Posted February 27, 2015 Author Posted February 27, 2015 IMO its a little crazy. Its like dating someone you work with. You don't even know her. Sure you could say the same about finding a roommate on craigslist, but you're not finding that roommate on craigslist with intent to be intimate. Intimacy changes EVERYTHING. thanks, did you read the top bit. We do work together.
mammasita Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 thanks, did you read the top bit. We do work together. Oh yeah, you shouldn't date coworkers either. So living together AND working together AND trying to date her....definite no.
Author quidproquo89 Posted February 27, 2015 Author Posted February 27, 2015 any other opinions? Thanks mate
mightycpa Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 is moving in with a colleague with the possibility of dating all that crazy? work colleaguewant to dateand be her rebound This is the hat trick of horrible ideas for a roommate.
badpenny Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Never, ever EVER date a work-mate/colleague. And living with her as a 'room-mate'...? Oh my goodness, no. I'm sorry, can you imagine the almighty mess you'd have to work through if you guys got together - then broke up messily??? No, no, no. Don't move in together, and for goodness' sake don't even think of dating her while you two work under the same roof.
GemmaUK Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Yeah, don't suggest being room mates. I understand your thinking but..no..bad idea. You told her nothing can happen until she is not with her guy so you now just have to wait until she is not with him or not with him and seriously sees you as an option. She is respecting your wishes by not contacting you..or she is out of the RS and is not contacting you because she has just had a break up and is not in the right frame of mind to date anyone.
Author quidproquo89 Posted February 28, 2015 Author Posted February 28, 2015 all sound advice. I told you it was crazy. ha ha . And nah there still together - I think she was bored, bad person, considered leaving him, easier to stay - any of the above , who cares lol
SJ1975 Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 I am kind of in this position too, I am with someone but like a co-worker and I want something to happen with my crush...
d0nnivain Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Yes the idea of being roommates with her is crazy. First, you did the right thing by telling her that you wouldn't start with her until she ended it with him. She is still with him. That means she picked him. Leave her to that choice. If you like her romantically, you can't ask her to move in with you as just friends. It would be a lie. You don't want to be her friend. You want to be her lover. Call a spade a spade. Third, dating in the work place is a bad bad idea. What happens when it goes wrong. Fourth going from 0 to 100 m.p.h. is a terrible idea. You are not dating her but you want to immediately jump from work colleague to living together. Nobody can withstand that level of 24/7 from the start.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Terrible idea. She isn't contacting you because you were clear that you couldn't go any further with her unless and until she is single. She's not. You should start holding out any hope, and continue meeting other girls.
Hopeful30 Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Moving in with her is the worst idea possible, in my opinion. Just like she was looking to you for lack of better options, so are you to her so you can move out. And no, shes not really interested otherwise she would have done somethig about it by now. She was just looking for something on the side.
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