OfTheDead Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 So! I'm a biological oddity. After a 4 year relationship with someone, we broke up. It's been over a year, I have had a new boyfriend for six months now. He's sweet, fun, interesting, and our relationship will no doubt go on like this for several years. But there's a catch: I simply do not feel the want to get married to this man. Ever. To be truthful, I don't feel as though I could marry anyone. I don't want to. My ex was the first person to make me feel as though I could be married with a family and happy. I just don't feel that anymore. My boyfriend is very sweet, and has an apprehension about having his heart broken. But, doesn't everyone? I was going to wait until I found another job, out of the area, to start my life either single, or to wait for the right man to come along... but I'm thinking now it would be too cruel, knowing this for myself, to lead the poor boy on. Any advice about ending a relationship, which is otherwise going phenomenally well, would be appreciated.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 7, 2005 Posted April 7, 2005 Honesty is the best policy here. You also have to be tactful, as well. Just let the guy know that you have had a great time together, and you enjoyed his company but you don't have the feelings necessary in order for it to continue in the same way. You care for him, but you can't maintain this relationship. Tell him you want to move on and start your life over, and it would be best if you could make this a clean break - then go about your job search and future plans. Don't ask him to be 'friends'. All that does when a relationship ends is give someone false hopes about reconciliation. Its pretty rare for a dumpee to truly want to be "friends" after being your "significant other" for a while. Its like going to the CEO of a big company and asking him to step down and work as a manufacturing line guy in a factory somewhere. He'll still have a job with the company, right? So, he should be thankful and happy for that, right? Nah.. there's no way to make that a happy ending. Its a break up. It isn't meant to be easy or happy, and it will hurt the guy. But it can be as swift and merciful as possible. Truth, tact, clean break - that's the way to go.
OfTheDead Posted April 7, 2005 Posted April 7, 2005 Awesome. Because that's the more refined (Read, "defined") version of what I know in my heart to be the right thing to do. Thanks.
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