fitnessfan365 Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 One trend I've been getting on Match A LOT lately are chatters. She'll respond to my email without viewing my profile. When this happens, I automatically delete most of the time. Unless her response is actually entertaining to read. Then I'll respond with "Usually when a woman responds without viewing a profile, she's just looking to chat. I'm not interested in pen pals, so feel free to view my profile,and if you genuinely want to get to know me better, we'll take it from there."
LookAtThisPOst Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 I have to agree, but I do get a kick out of women that come to message boards complaining about how "Men wanting to meet TOO soon." *Shrug* My answer, get off the dating site, because it's NOT for you. No one wants to be a pen-pal, esp. when you both live right down the road from each other. Whoa buddy I am going to give you some advice I hope it doesn't sting I mean no harm just helping a brother out. You are going about the OLD thing all wrong. Get the number FAST. I'm talking like in the first 3-10 messages on the OLD site. If a girl is into you she will give up the number, as long as you say you would rather text her on SMS than over the site. I have gotten phone numbers in as little as 3 messages. The ones that refuse to give the number when I feel its the time to ask I just next them and they usually dont respond afterwards. Theres a bunch of reasons they wouldnt give out their number and they are all red flags. They are married, they have a boyfriend, they arent really interested in dating you, they are looking for attention only just dipping toes in the water, they have no intention of meeting you, stroking their ego, whatever. If they like you enough to talk to you they will give you their number pretty quick. Once you get the phone number line up the date as fast as possible. Again if they like you and are serious about dating they will meet up with you within the week. Exchanging messages on OLD is like eating calorie free candy. Feels nice but there's no substance. Once you get a phone number, your operating on a proper level.
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 28, 2015 Author Posted February 28, 2015 Haven't heard from her in a day now. Hopefully I shook her! Lined up another match date.
katiegrl Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 I have to agree, but I do get a kick out of women that come to message boards complaining about how "Men wanting to meet TOO soon." *Shrug* My answer, get off the dating site, because it's NOT for you. No one wants to be a pen-pal, esp. when you both live right down the road from each other. Exactly! I learned this the hard way, but the dating site should be an "introduction" to someone...if you like each other's pics and profile, then you introduce yourselves to each other and arrange to actually meet IN PERSON. I did OLD awhile back and I can't yell you how many times I attempted to get to know a man via text before meeting...telling myself I wasn't "comfortable" meeting him till I felt a certain *connection* with him first. Only to discover that AFTER we met IN PERSON, he was a totally different person and there was absolutely NOTHING there between us! After that happened a few times, I decided NOT to waste time and after meeting them briefly on line, we quickly made a plan to meet IN PERSON. There is no way two people can gauge chemistry or feel a genuine connection with each other UNTIL they actually meet in person. 1
Gary S Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 I did OLD awhile back and I can't yell you how many times I attempted to get to know a man via text before meeting...telling myself I wasn't "comfortable" meeting him till I felt a certain *connection* with him first. Only to discover that AFTER we met IN PERSON, he was a totally different person and there was absolutely NOTHING there between us! After that happened a few times, I decided NOT to waste time and after meeting them briefly on line, we quickly made a plan to meet IN PERSON. There is no way two people can gauge chemistry or feel a genuine connection with each other UNTIL they actually meet in person. - Exactly. Message and text chemistry before a meet means nothing, you don't know each other. When you meet, one of you might discover within five minutes it's not a match. If you have been texting, for example, for five months, you just wasted a ginormous amount of time. We are strangers until we meet.
SELdeMER Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 I think you responded just fine. You could have also said something along the line of "I've got a lot going on and can't continue with the back and forth, would love to chat in person, so get back to me with a time when you will be free to meet" I think sometimes people are just unsure of how to approach OLD. maybe she is new to it. It's totally different from meeting in person, and sometimes people don't know the protocols. I wouldn't want to assume something negative right off the bat, maybe she is just really busy but wants to remain in your headspace a bit until you meet or feels it more polite to engage in a little chit chat or banter, which I think is a normal thing to want if you like the look of someone from online. Say it will take 2-3 weeks for her to get some free time, if she totally refrains from any contact with you in that time, you might forget about her or move on entirely. Provided that both parties are into lots of texting, I think lots of texting is ok as long as there is an actual date lined-up or between dates when chemistry has already been established . Polite chit chat that isn't too deep--just enough to keep the connection alive.
Omei Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 (edited) Whoa buddy I am going to give you some advice I hope it doesn't sting I mean no harm just helping a brother out. You are going about the OLD thing all wrong. Get the number FAST. I'm talking like in the first 3-10 messages on the OLD site. If a girl is into you she will give up the number, as long as you say you would rather text her on SMS than over the site. I have gotten phone numbers in as little as 3 messages. The ones that refuse to give the number when I feel its the time to ask I just next them and they usually dont respond afterwards. Theres a bunch of reasons they wouldnt give out their number and they are all red flags. They are married, they have a boyfriend, they arent really interested in dating you, they are looking for attention only just dipping toes in the water, they have no intention of meeting you, stroking their ego, whatever. If they like you enough to talk to you they will give you their number pretty quick. Once you get the phone number line up the date as fast as possible. Again if they like you and are serious about dating they will meet up with you within the week. Exchanging messages on OLD is like eating calorie free candy. Feels nice but there's no substance. Once you get a phone number, your operating on a proper level. I wouldn't say this is necessarily true I found on okc guys who ask for numbers in the first 10 msgs want a hook up. Now I only give out my number if they talk to me for a few days, over time ive learned even the most attractive guys with the most interesting profiles can turn out to be hot messes. Profiles can look great but after a day of conversing some of the most well put profiles are by creepy guys yesterday I had a guy talk to me all day only to reveal the last girl he met on okc they had sex and watched porn together saying this after much conversation as if id wanna know that? next! Glad I didnt give number. There are many men who are willing to chit chat all day before trying to lure you into a hookup happens weekly so for me they need to talk to me for two days without bringing up sex to get my number Edited February 28, 2015 by Omei
Christina107 Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 The texts that annoy the hell out of me is when I first exchange numbers with a guy on okcupid, he then decides that is ok to text me every freaking day until we meet up. The "good morning" texts aggravate me. Good Lord! Sorry, but those "good morning" texts are reserved for people that are official dating, not for those who have yet to meet up yet. I think the rule should be no mindless, countless texting until meeting up-and only text about meeting up until the day comes. Not texting about mindless crap. There has been sooo many times where I would invest in countless texting until the day that I met up-only to find out that the guy is not interested. Well, then why all the texts? I feel like the just wasted my data usage on him.
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