One time paid first date for those that are trying to move on from a break up?

[Lolita_Sky]

Okay I am currently going through a break up. I don't really have any close friends to talk to about my break up.

 

My boyfriend hurt me pretty bad and I know for certain that I don't want to be with anyone. But because of this pain I feel I know its hard to effectively move on without the help of others. I know how essential it is to get out of the house and just....do SOMETHING to keep your mind off of them.

 

Sometimes going through a break up can effect a persons self image. We start to lose confidence in our self and wonder if we're "good enough". When that isn't true at all! We're all of some worth and or value and because of that fact we should know this and BELIEVE in it have FAITH in this truth and never lose sight of it.

 

So sometimes its just nice to feel appreciated and valued by others some times we just want to know that we are special and valued. Which brings me to my idea.

 

I was thinking of creating a page where I take those that are going through a break up and is trying desperately to move on regardless of how far along they are in the break up or the No Contact journey. I take them out on a date no commitment all expenses paid by me. Totally a platonic thing. Its just a way to help them get out and not focus on their exes.

 

I know it would certainly help me if this was done for me. Not only that I think it'd be a great way to start new friendships. I'm not talking about just guys either. I'm talking about guys or girls it just something to help others.

 

I'm basically wanting to turn the negative feelings I have right now into something positive. I don't want the experiences that I went through with my ex to dictate my outlook on life. I feel that this project will help me to meet new and interesting people and will teach me more about people in general than I know now.

 

So what do you guys think? Good idea or not?

[Vintage79]

It would get expensive, probably a bit creepy, etc. Why would someone dump a bunch of cash into a 1-time platonic outing, just so they could hear someone complain?

 

I applaud you on thinking about it in a way that would hopefully help people, but this just seems like it would be an issue - not to mention that you'd likely get predators who prey on recently emotionally damaged/traumatized women. Your heart's in the right place, but I don't think the concept is.

[Lolita_Sky]

It would get expensive, probably a bit creepy, etc. Why would someone dump a bunch of cash into a 1-time platonic outing, just so they could hear someone complain?

 

I applaud you on thinking about it in a way that would hopefully help people, but this just seems like it would be an issue - not to mention that you'd likely get predators who prey on recently emotionally damaged/traumatized women. Your heart's in the right place, but I don't think the concept is.

 

Yeah I considered that too. However it wouldn't be an outing that would be expensive. Something simple and not over the top. There are risks regardless as "predators" go it's all about being smart and careful. I wouldn't want to hear them complain. Initially I would use a period of time to get to know them a little. This would prob be like a once a week kind of thing.

[Gary S]

So why not go on real dates? Nothing will take your mind off the old guy like a new guy can! Maybe you'll make some new friends too. It's good therapy. You don't have to be marriage-minded to date.

[stillafool]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I think it would be a good idea to get out of the house and meet female friends. You would have a support system in times like these. I notice alot of young women these days saying they do not have friends and I wonder why. It is smart to cultivate relationships with the same sex as much as the opposite sex to give you balance. It is never a good idea to make a bf your best friend because when you break up you have no body.

[mightycpa]

I think that if you found a way to make them pay, it would be more sustainable.

 

I'll give you an example. In my freshman year in college, I got dumped by the girl back home. So did a bunch of my freshman pals from all over the country. It seemed like an epidemic, and it hit mid-October.

 

I joined a fraternity, and we hosted parties all the time. It was a chore thinking about new themes, because they'd all get stale after a while. I came up with the bright idea about a "Breakup Ball" where where our ads specifically targeted dumpers and dumpees. It was a great success, year after year. It brought all sorts of people, from the brokenhearted, to the dumpers, to the friends of each.

 

Anyway, we made money, and so we stuck with that for years, once in the late fall, and once in the spring. I'd like to think we helped some people in the process. We couldn't have done it without making some cash, but as you say, we made some friends too along the way.

[Lolita_Sky]

So why not go on real dates? Nothing will take your mind off the old guy like a new guy can! Maybe you'll make some new friends too. It's good therapy. You don't have to be marriage-minded to date.

 

Because I want it to be under the context of a platonic inteaction. Dating sites puts too much emphasis on "romantic interest". I don't want it to feel like that.

[Vintage79]

This is really just a, "go out with friends or family" situation - you need comfort from someone who knows you, not a platonic, 1-time coffee date. If you don't have friends or family, I get the challenge, but finding some random person to take you out, pay, etc., is not the way to do it. As mentioned before - I appreciate the fact that you're trying to help, but awful idea, not to mention that there's not going to be any real way to ever realistically implement it outside of your group of friends - but if you had a group of friends, you wouldn't need this option.

 

Sorry - I'm a venture capitalist, and use to shooting ideas down...this one doesn't pass the sniff test.

[neowulf]

Okay I am currently going through a break up. I don't really have any close friends to talk to about my break up.

 

My boyfriend hurt me pretty bad and I know for certain that I don't want to be with anyone. But because of this pain I feel I know its hard to effectively move on without the help of others. I know how essential it is to get out of the house and just....do SOMETHING to keep your mind off of them.

 

Sometimes going through a break up can effect a persons self image. We start to lose confidence in our self and wonder if we're "good enough". When that isn't true at all! We're all of some worth and or value and because of that fact we should know this and BELIEVE in it have FAITH in this truth and never lose sight of it.

 

So sometimes its just nice to feel appreciated and valued by others some times we just want to know that we are special and valued. Which brings me to my idea.

 

I was thinking of creating a page where I take those that are going through a break up and is trying desperately to move on regardless of how far along they are in the break up or the No Contact journey. I take them out on a date no commitment all expenses paid by me. Totally a platonic thing. Its just a way to help them get out and not focus on their exes.

 

I know it would certainly help me if this was done for me. Not only that I think it'd be a great way to start new friendships. I'm not talking about just guys either. I'm talking about guys or girls it just something to help others.

 

I'm basically wanting to turn the negative feelings I have right now into something positive. I don't want the experiences that I went through with my ex to dictate my outlook on life. I feel that this project will help me to meet new and interesting people and will teach me more about people in general than I know now.

 

So what do you guys think? Good idea or not?

 

I think that displays a high degree of kindness and empathy. I would not want to see you taken advantage of, but if suitable precautions are taken, reaching out to others like that could really make a difference for someone.

[neowulf]

This is really just a, "go out with friends or family" situation - you need comfort from someone who knows you, not a platonic, 1-time coffee date. If you don't have friends or family, I get the challenge, but finding some random person to take you out, pay, etc., is not the way to do it. As mentioned before - I appreciate the fact that you're trying to help, but awful idea, not to mention that there's not going to be any real way to ever realistically implement it outside of your group of friends - but if you had a group of friends, you wouldn't need this option.

 

Sorry - I'm a venture capitalist, and use to shooting ideas down...this one doesn't pass the sniff test.

 

You do realize that what the OP is offering is basically the precursor to what became formal counselling right?

 

Two people, having been through a similar traumatic event, simply sitting down and sharing their pain, without judgement. Friends and relatives carry baggage, expectations.

 

OP, perhaps a group setting might be better than one on one? Starting a support group where people can share their stories with each other and simply enjoy some company? Or were you chasing the more intimate relating of a person to person situation?

[Lolita_Sky]

This is really just a, "go out with friends or family" situation - you need comfort from someone who knows you, not a platonic, 1-time coffee date. If you don't have friends or family, I get the challenge, but finding some random person to take you out, pay, etc., is not the way to do it. As mentioned before - I appreciate the fact that you're trying to help, but awful idea, not to mention that there's not going to be any real way to ever realistically implement it outside of your group of friends - but if you had a group of friends, you wouldn't need this option.

 

Sorry - I'm a venture capitalist, and use to shooting ideas down...this one doesn't pass the sniff test.

 

I disagree...to an extent. The method may be bad but the idea isn't. I think may the approach should be adjusted to where it isn't so...awkward I guess. I think it'd be easier to implement this idea if it were a group...Or gathering of the sort.

[Lolita_Sky]

You do realize that what the OP is offering is basically the precursor to what became formal counselling right?

 

Two people, having been through a similar traumatic event, simply sitting down and sharing their pain, without judgement. Friends and relatives carry baggage, expectations.

 

OP, perhaps a group setting might be better than one on one? Starting a support group where people can share their stories with each other and simply enjoy some company? Or were you chasing the more intimate relating of a person to person situation?

 

EXACTLY!! I think a group event would be perfect. I think it'd be a huge help to those that don't really have anyone to turn to or simply don't want to share their breakup with anyone in their personal life.

[Lolita_Sky]

I think that if you found a way to make them pay, it would be more sustainable.

 

I'll give you an example. In my freshman year in college, I got dumped by the girl back home. So did a bunch of my freshman pals from all over the country. It seemed like an epidemic, and it hit mid-October.

 

I joined a fraternity, and we hosted parties all the time. It was a chore thinking about new themes, because they'd all get stale after a while. I came up with the bright idea about a "Breakup Ball" where where our ads specifically targeted dumpers and dumpees. It was a great success, year after year. It brought all sorts of people, from the brokenhearted, to the dumpers, to the friends of each.

 

Anyway, we made money, and so we stuck with that for years, once in the late fall, and once in the spring. I'd like to think we helped some people in the process. We couldn't have done it without making some cash, but as you say, we made some friends too along the way.

 

That's an awesome idea. I'd love to do something like this. I think that fits the over all intent of my idea very well.