I hate this

[confused594]

We dated for 2 years. I'm 20 and she's 23. We fell into hard times after living together for 5 months so we broke it off and I moved out.

then Finally we had a talk and said we still loved each other and all we needed to do was just be separate and work on ourselves and being happy with who we were.

 

So we talked off an on and then a week went by and we didn't talk, but then she shows up at my job looking to talk to me about all the crappy stuff thats been going on in her life. Which really pissed me off because it felt like all she wanted was just to have me as a shoulder to cry on when she has her other friends she can talk to about this.

 

Anyways i go to her house, we have sex, she cries after because she wanted to do it without emotions but she couldn't and was sad that it had to happen while we weren't together, she tells me she loves me and misses me but she's confused about everything. Then two days later we hang out again and drink a lil, i told her i had sex with someone else and she tears up saying she doesn't know if she could be with me after that but that she still loves and misses me.

The next morning she says she loves me and doesn't want me to go but she's confused. So i tell her we needed to talk, and i confessed that i still wanted to be with her but she said she couldn't be with me right now...even after saying all of that **** about not wanting me to go and her loving and missing me. So i told her not to text, call or see me because i need to move on and forget her.

 

But yet I'm still left here confused and still missing her, even though i know we shouldn't be together because i need to be happy on my own but its so hard to keep my mind off her. I don't miss the fact that i had someone...i just miss her period. and everything about her.

I don't really know what to do...should i have some hope? she was the love of my life, i miss everything about her, but her confusion really puts me off.

I just talked to her today to ask about her grandmother who had a stroke and is brain damaged, because her grandma was really great to me. So i have her keep me updated on that situation.

but i found myself having to stop me from telling her how much i missed her. I don't want anyone else, its hard to think about being with anyone else. Its probably just the newly broken up stage...but still....shes always on my mind no matter what i do.

Edited February 27, 2015 by confused594

[d0nnivain]

You give it time & you go NC.

 

 

Set up a Google alert on the grandmother so you will get the obituary if she passes & you can send flowers but otherwise you need to take steps to move forward.