HoboJoe123 Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 (edited) Been going out with a lady for about a month now and it has been great. We end up at my place for a flick and ended up getting intimate afterwards. After a good time for both (my story, sticking to it lol) and doing the post-deed cuddle, she immediately asks when the last time I had sex. I reply 'a few weeks'. She then immediately asks if it was a one night stand deal. So I tell her no, we were dating at the time but it just didn't work out. Conversations for me after sex are rare as it is; shooting from the hip point-blank questions about my sex life have been non-existent up to this point. In a way, I'm actually pretty sexually inexperienced when dealing with others. Virtually all of mine comes from a 4 year relationship which ended early last year and it's only fairly recent I've felt somewhat comfortable with doing it again (I'm mid 20s). So I guess my questions is why she would feel like it was a good time to bring those questions up and what exactly was she fishing around for. Edited February 26, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Clean up formatting
Gary S Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 Women who are falling for you want to learn all about you. 5
slizl Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 Sounds more to me like she was asking, "Are we exclusive? Are you dating someone else? Were you just trying to get in my pants? Was this a one time thing?" Have you discussed exclusivity with her yet? My guess would be that you have not. 3
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 Yeah, she probably just wanted to get to know you more.
Buddhist Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 So I guess my questions is why she would feel like it was a good time to bring those questions up and what exactly was she fishing around for. She's trying to bond with you rather than probe into your sexual insecurities, or gauge your manliness through sexual prowess. Believe it or not, but women don't judge a man's worth by their bedpost notches. Only men do that. It could just be that she's a personality type that displays low emotional intelligence, a logic type, and that is why the questions come across as probing and blunt. She just doesn't know how to beat about the bush and bond in a typical indirect manner. I am one of these types, my intentions never come across right because people find me too harsh and blunt. It hides my good intentions rather brilliantly.
Vintage79 Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 I don't think I'd read into it all that much. You just got done being intimate - it was on her mind, so she asked questions about it. It's no different than if you went to the grocery store with someone and they asked when as the last time you were at the grocery store (ok - maybe a little different, but potentially the same kind of thing). The only issue is the answer you gave may have been perceived as good, but likely a bit more negative - saying it was just a few weeks likely doesn't make her feel that special...it may have been a good opportunity to jokingly deflect. Oh well - it's probably fine, and as mentioned, I wouldn't read into it too much unless she keeps asking about it.
Redhead14 Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Been going out with a lady for about a month now and it has been great. We end up at my place for a flick and ended up getting intimate afterwards. After a good time for both (my story, sticking to it lol) and doing the post-deed cuddle, she immediately asks when the last time I had sex. I reply 'a few weeks'. She then immediately asks if it was a one night stand deal. So I tell her no, we were dating at the time but it just didn't work out. Conversations for me after sex are rare as it is; shooting from the hip point-blank questions about my sex life have been non-existent up to this point. In a way, I'm actually pretty sexually inexperienced when dealing with others. Virtually all of mine comes from a 4 year relationship which ended early last year and it's only fairly recent I've felt somewhat comfortable with doing it again (I'm mid 20s). So I guess my questions is why she would feel like it was a good time to bring those questions up and what exactly was she fishing around for. I think it's ok to inquire about a sex partner's history. However, I might not do it right after being intimate with someone. Ideally, I'd do that at some point before intimacy so as to clarify possible STD exposure primarily. Sounds to me as though she is a little inexperienced and maybe not too saavy about dating and intimacy. It's also a little tactless to have a conversation like that while your still in bed with someone. That would be a mood killer for me and ruin the "moment". Nevertheless, if she does this often and outside of a casual discussion for the purpose of clarifying exclusivity between you, I'd tell her that your past sexual history is your past sexual history and that you are STD free (if that is the case, what have you) and what it is you are looking for out of your dating experience with her, i.e. casual, long-term, etc.
PegNosePete Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Been going out with a lady for about a month now she immediately asks when the last time I had sex. I reply 'a few weeks'. She then immediately asks if it was a one night stand deal. So I tell her no, we were dating at the time but it just didn't work out. Really? You were "dating" and having sex with someone else, at the time you began dating your current gf? I'm not sure what she was "fishing" for but she sure caught a whopper there. I'd be surprised if she wants to see you again after that. I certainly wouldn't. 1
katiegrl Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Really? You were "dating" and having sex with someone else, at the time you began dating your current gf? I'm not sure what she was "fishing" for but she sure caught a whopper there. I'd be surprised if she wants to see you again after that. I certainly wouldn't. Good catch PNP! His current girl obviously didn't catch it......otherwise, the subject of this thread would have been entirety different! 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Really? You were "dating" and having sex with someone else, at the time you began dating your current gf? I'm not sure what she was "fishing" for but she sure caught a whopper there. I'd be surprised if she wants to see you again after that. I certainly wouldn't. To be fair, while 'a few' to some means 'exactly three', most people would say 'a few' from anything between three to seven weeks or more. It's also entirely possible he couldn't remember exact date. If she was worried she may have asked 'was that before or after we met?' but my guess is if you haven't already discussed exclusivity, she probably knows that he's likely to be seeing others.
smackie9 Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Good catch PNP! His current girl obviously didn't catch it......otherwise, the subject of this thread would have been entirety different! They are just dating, not exclusive......she's is trying to gauge if this is going anywhere and how serious he is now that sex is on the table.
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