devilish innocent Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 You had the talk with him because you were worried he was ignoring you too much. Now you're skewing completely in the other direction. You're worried that he's paying too much attention to you. He can't be indifferent to you and overly interested in you. I'm starting to think your insecurities cause you to see drama in places where there aren't really any. I think he's trying to show you that he does really want to spend time with you and not just use you for a ride. When he didn't get a response back from you, he didn't know if you weren't purposefully ignoring him, so he got upset. That's all. You just needed to explain that you fell asleep and that would have been the end of the story. 1
preraph Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 How does he know both cars are at your house if he has to depend on you for chauffeur service? I hope this isn't that guy who keeps trying to get to you through your family.
mightycpa Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 What is your overall thoughts on this? Thank you! Next time, take him there, and drop him off while you park the car. Then ... VROOM!bye-bye! looks like I was late to this party.
mightycpa Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 You definitely need to move out and leave all the drama that surrounds you with your current friends and unfortunately your family too. She does seem to have an inordinate amount of new posts about new stuff. Not such a fool after all.
Author Ashley S Posted February 28, 2015 Author Posted February 28, 2015 You had the talk with him because you were worried he was ignoring you too much. Now you're skewing completely in the other direction. You're worried that he's paying too much attention to you. He can't be indifferent to you and overly interested in you. I'm starting to think your insecurities cause you to see drama in places where there aren't really any. I think he's trying to show you that he does really want to spend time with you and not just use you for a ride. When he didn't get a response back from you, he didn't know if you weren't purposefully ignoring him, so he got upset. That's all. You just needed to explain that you fell asleep and that would have been the end of the story. I did explain to him, that I was slept through it and all of that. I said that to him, but I just didn't add it in my post. Thank you for commenting! I might have been over-reacting to that.
Author Ashley S Posted February 28, 2015 Author Posted February 28, 2015 Well, I hung out with him the day after I said I slept through my class, and he texted me and all of that. Well, when I saw him he said "What was it you wanted to talk to me about?" I said "I said I wanted to talk to you about something?" He said "Well, when I texted you to hang out, you said you weren't feeling well, and you were thinking a lot about things." I said "Oh well, yeah I was thinking a lot, and plus I didn't want to go out because I missed class, so I was angry, and I still wasn't feeling well." He said "I thought you were upset with me, and I thought you were thinking about calling off the friendship. I tried to commit suicide today (laughing)" I said "What? Are you joking?" He said "No, I thought you were mad at me, and you didn't want to be around me anymore, so I literally tied a noose." I said "Oh my! Please don't do that. Don't ever do something like that ever again. Please. I wasn't mad at you, I just wasn't feeling well. I am an honest person, I would've told you. Just don't ever do things like that, talk to me if you feel upset or angry." He was laughing as he was saying it, so I thought he was joking, but then he stopped laughing, and said it seriously. I don't know if he's being manipulative? Like he wants me to be like "Oh my god, we're best friends." And guilt trip me? Guilt trip me like "Oh if I make him upset, he might kill himself!" Or I don't know if I should take it like he really did do that? It's so bizarre, and I am still freaked out, and now I really don't know what to do, now I am afraid to cut the friendship because I am afraid he'll commit suicide. I am hoping it's just a manipulative move on his part because I can't deal with that thought of him possibly doing that.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Well, I hung out with him the day after I said I slept through my class, and he texted me and all of that. Well, when I saw him he said "What was it you wanted to talk to me about?" I said "I said I wanted to talk to you about something?" He said "Well, when I texted you to hang out, you said you weren't feeling well, and you were thinking a lot about things." I said "Oh well, yeah I was thinking a lot, and plus I didn't want to go out because I missed class, so I was angry, and I still wasn't feeling well." He said "I thought you were upset with me, and I thought you were thinking about calling off the friendship. I tried to commit suicide today (laughing)" I said "What? Are you joking?" He said "No, I thought you were mad at me, and you didn't want to be around me anymore, so I literally tied a noose." I said "Oh my! Please don't do that. Don't ever do something like that ever again. Please. I wasn't mad at you, I just wasn't feeling well. I am an honest person, I would've told you. Just don't ever do things like that, talk to me if you feel upset or angry." He was laughing as he was saying it, so I thought he was joking, but then he stopped laughing, and said it seriously. I don't know if he's being manipulative? Like he wants me to be like "Oh my god, we're best friends." And guilt trip me? Guilt trip me like "Oh if I make him upset, he might kill himself!" Or I don't know if I should take it like he really did do that? It's so bizarre, and I am still freaked out, and now I really don't know what to do, now I am afraid to cut the friendship because I am afraid he'll commit suicide. I am hoping it's just a manipulative move on his part because I can't deal with that thought of him possibly doing that. Tell him if he ever threatens suicide again, you will call 911. End of story. And I think this friendship - and many of your other relationships - are far too filled with drama. But I believe you inadvertently contribute to it, by seeking out attention from these people and provoking a reaction, and continuing to engage. I don't think you're a bad person or that you have malicious intentions. But thread of thread of dramatic stories suggests you do have some soul-searching to do. 1
TiffanyMyers Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 If I were you I would just let things cool off for a while, stop talking to him or replying his texts. Remember the no conflict rule always works:bunny: and you get to save some gas... Perhaps wait a little and then see how he treats you? Maybe you're right in that he's just using you, so keeping some space between you and him is healthy so long as you aren't into him IMO 1
amaysngrace Posted March 1, 2015 Posted March 1, 2015 How old is he and does he live with his parents? I'm guessing yes since he can't even afford a car but if he does you should pick up the phone and call them and tell them their son mentioned to you that he was suicidal. Then you can put any guilt to rest about that. 1
leyateresa Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 Tell him how you feel about the driving, and if he doesn't change it or continues to do it then he doesn't respect your friendship much and probably isn't worth pursuing a friendship with. Also, don't always do things you don't want to do, or people will get used to taking advantage of it, and constantly using you for rides. He may or may not know that you driving with them is making you upset, so the only way to see if he cares is to let him know! Do you like this guy? If that is the issue then you should probably have that discussion with him as well, especially if he doesn't know and is bringing you around other girls and just letting you watch it happen. 1
spiderowl Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 I'm stupid, and desperate I guess. I don't know. I am going to talk to him about how I feel. You are deserving of respect and consideration and these guys don't seem to know much about that. You need a better circle of friends or to make these guys sit up and realise you are not a person to be messed with. I suspect you've gone along with this because of lack of self-confidence. I was like that at your age. Eventually I realised that there is no-one quite like me, who thinks, looks and acts like me, and that is what makes each of us special. Not everyone will like you (or me) and some will like us a lot. These guys haven't appreciated you as friends should. You need your own circle of friends who appreciate you and don't take advantage like this. You don't need to confront your 'friends', just become unavailable to them. See what else you can do in the way of a social life, maybe going to learn some new art or something, to give you a chance to meet new people. Once your assocates realise you are choosing new options for yourself, the lightbulbs will go on in their heads. Don't allow them to manipulate you into being a taxi or bystander any more. If they are not paying you attention, being courteous and caring, and including you, they are not worth your time. 1
Author Ashley S Posted March 2, 2015 Author Posted March 2, 2015 How old is he and does he live with his parents? I'm guessing yes since he can't even afford a car but if he does you should pick up the phone and call them and tell them their son mentioned to you that he was suicidal. Then you can put any guilt to rest about that. He lives with his friend, and he's my age, he's 21 years old. I see what you mean though, thank you for the advice. 1
Author Ashley S Posted March 2, 2015 Author Posted March 2, 2015 Thank you everyone for the advice, and insight. I am not falling for his bull****, I know it's manipulative. If he does threaten suicide again then I definitely will call someone because I am not dealing with that manipulative behavior. I am trying to keep a distance, but it's hard because he lives next door to me. I feel like he's too clingy, and honestly I feel like he's too involved in my life. With that said, I am trying to keep a distance, but it's not working because he still calls and texts me. It's not incessantly, but it's enough where I am like "STOP!" Lol. I feel like I ****ed myself with this one (sorry for the language) but I feel like I will never get rid of him. I know it's bad when I feel suffocated. I feel exactly that! He constantly wants to be around me, and he doesn't know boundaries. He keeps saying when he gets an apartment he wants me to live there, and I know it's because I am available all the time, not because he's in love with me or anything like that. I just don't like how I need a break, and I still feel suffocated even him staying at this Art Institute. He has two friends that live in the dorms down at that Institute, and he's suppose to be staying there for 3 days, and already he's starting with "Come down! We have alcohol!" and "Can you drop Mikey off?" etc. I told him "No!" I just feel like this is heading in a bad direction, and I am not the one contacting him. I am trying to distance myself, and it's still not working. Sorry, I am just venting, you can comment if you want. I am not trying to look for attention or display anymore drama, I am just fed up, and writing about it lol. Thanks! 2
wb1988 Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 Thank you everyone for the advice, and insight. I am not falling for his bull****, I know it's manipulative. If he does threaten suicide again then I definitely will call someone because I am not dealing with that manipulative behavior. I am trying to keep a distance, but it's hard because he lives next door to me. I feel like he's too clingy, and honestly I feel like he's too involved in my life. With that said, I am trying to keep a distance, but it's not working because he still calls and texts me. It's not incessantly, but it's enough where I am like "STOP!" Lol. I feel like I ****ed myself with this one (sorry for the language) but I feel like I will never get rid of him. I know it's bad when I feel suffocated. I feel exactly that! He constantly wants to be around me, and he doesn't know boundaries. He keeps saying when he gets an apartment he wants me to live there, and I know it's because I am available all the time, not because he's in love with me or anything like that. I just don't like how I need a break, and I still feel suffocated even him staying at this Art Institute. He has two friends that live in the dorms down at that Institute, and he's suppose to be staying there for 3 days, and already he's starting with "Come down! We have alcohol!" and "Can you drop Mikey off?" etc. I told him "No!" I just feel like this is heading in a bad direction, and I am not the one contacting him. I am trying to distance myself, and it's still not working. Sorry, I am just venting, you can comment if you want. I am not trying to look for attention or display anymore drama, I am just fed up, and writing about it lol. Thanks! I have a sociopath brother so just from reading this I know this is a classic sociopathic guy. You should read up on exactly what a sociopath is if you don't know it yet. They will say absolutely anything to get his/her way, suicide threat is very common (people who commit suicide always do it silently without warning, don't bother calling anyone about this guy). They make empty promises to string you along (it's their way of 'paying back' without actually having to pay back). They will never consider your feelings because as a sociopathic person they see everyone as tools rather than people. They are also master manipulators that talk themselves out of everything, but from experience they aren't incredibly clever so this is also their downfall. Do you get this weird feeling like he's sucking the life out of you? Yeah that's classic sociopath energy.
joyfulgirl79 Posted March 2, 2015 Posted March 2, 2015 While I agree this man is just outright manipulative and likely no threat of actual suicide based on his behaviours..... to say people who commit suicide always do so quietly is a myth. Many people who have taken their lives have spoken about it beforehand. Again, this dude sounds like an manipulative douchebag, but it always gives me pause when I read things such as that and am surprised people believe that.
Recommended Posts