Bambi123 Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 Hi, This is going to be tough to write. I'll start at the beginning... So March 2014 I met a guy on Tinder, he was in the navy , but he was back on leave for 6 weeks. We spent everyday of those six weeks together- getting to know one another and forming a relationship. By the end of the six weeks we were an item and we had been away for a week to scotland. He went back to work - spending the week in the navy base and returning on weekends. It was tough for me at first- this was my first relationship and I didnt have my partner there for most of the time. But I got used to it and I lived for the weekends I would spend with him. We got along so well, we never argued , got along with each others friends and family and people only spoke highly of our realtionship. It was leading up to Christmas and he had to go away for two weeks on a course . He came back and we spent all of christmas and new year together, we had a happy few weeks and we spoke about our future and our anniversary that was steadily approaching. He went back to training for four weeks and we planned for me to come down to where he was for the weekend. I was so excited I was talking to him and he said how he couldnt wait for that weekend . He was going to try and come back on the first weekend he was there to come to my grans 90th birtday party. It was a big deal for me - my whole family were going to be there and I was hoping he would make it. He told me on the friday it was looking unlikely that he would be able to get back because he had finished so late. I spoke to him over that weekend, he wasnt talking as much- but I didnt really notice as I was with my family. He told me he had found some antique shops and was just chilling watching Tv. The next morning we spoke on facebook and I noticed his loaction was not where he was meant to be staying, I didnt say anything to him but I spoke to some mates and my gut was telling me that he was cheating on me. Of course my mates said that i was being stupid and overeacting ! I spoke to him on the phone later and he said he had gone out early in the morning for a walk in town. The weekend after we spent it together, it was lovely and chilled. We spoke about us and and our future and more things to plan- he was acting completely normal. He spent one more weekend down there and then was set to return back home on the friday after. It was the morning of the day of his return and i spoke about how excited i was , i said i would come and meet him from the station. I saw later on that day he had commented on a mate of his facebook post that he was so excited for that night. I was confused because we were meant to be spending the evening with me. I messaged him and he didnt say anything about it - just that he may be back really late on. He then just stopped replying to me, I was so confused . I didnt hear from him the next morning, I decided to go over to where he was and we spoke , he appologised and said he had panicked and that he had a few things he was thinking about when he was away. Firstly he was deffinetly staying in his job(he had briefly spoken about leaving a few months ago) he also said I had been a bit suffocating with messages when he was away. I said I knew he wanted to stay in and I asked if he wanted our relationship to continue and he said of course. The next week we spoke as normal and I went over to his on the friday. Turning up I was thinking something may happen....however he intsantly hugged me and said he loved me and we were going to have a great future. The whole weekend made me positive about our future . We had even planned for valentines day the week after. We said goodbye on sunday and we spoke monday morning and afternoon. Everything was normal, then I noticed that he had blocked me on whatsapp and deleted me on facebook. I was in shock. Then half an hour later he messaged me saying he knows I dont want him ti saty in the navy and i would be better off without him. I was heartbroken. I knew it wasnt the reason that he wanted to end things . I saw him the friday after and he explained to me that he had been unhappy for a while and that I was crushing him with messages. I was obviously still heartbroken and this was hurting even more. When we said goodbye he said he needed some space and was going off to think about things. I had been feeling ill for a while and that weekend I took to pregnancy tests and one was positive. I panicked and for a week and a half I pushed it all to the back of my head. On the saturday after I received a message from a girl telling me that since Decemeber she had been speaking to him on tinder and that they had met those four weeks when he was away. He even told her he was wanting a relationship with her in the near future. He played both of us and this girl was brave enough to tell me everything. I spoke to her for three hours on the phone and that gut feeling I had about him cheating on me that weekend was completely right! He had paid for a hotel on their first date . Now I am trapped, I fell in love with someone who had no remosre or guilt whilst cheating on me . He didnt end our relationship for months when he was activley using a tinder account. He had even told me that he thought it was mad people had tinder accounts in relationships. Now I may be having his child...what do I do? I am so angry!
Ruby65 Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 First you need to find out if you're really pregnant. Then you need to decide if you're going to terminate or keep the baby or put it up for adoption. The man in this story is WORTHLESS. He's a liar, a cheater and a creep. Forget him, he's gone. Your number one priority right now -- possibly for the next 20 or so years -- is this baby you may or may not be carrying. Sorry to say, but your "romance" with this guy isn't that important in the grand scheme of things. If faced with parenthood, that becomes the most important aspect of your life. So... are you or aren't you? I hope you've made an appointment with a doctor or clinic to get absolute results.
Author Bambi123 Posted February 28, 2015 Author Posted February 28, 2015 Thank you for your response. I went to the doctors and I didnt know it but I had lost the pregnancy . It was very early on. I am obviously numbed by this but it wasnt meant to be .I had seen him before I knew and said i was going to the doctors. I messaged him this morning that it was negative- i didnt tell him that i had lost it. I told him that i hoped for the sake of another poor young girl he seriously considered changing his ways. But I know he wont listen, he will continue to do this and i am glad i found out when i did and didnt let myself fall so deep . I have tainted memories now and just want to enjoy being by myself .
d0nnivain Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 I am so sorry this happened to you. Please accept my condolences on the loss of the baby but that may have been a blessing in disguise. For a 1st relationship I have to say you moved awfully fast. Getting to know somebody on active duty in 6 weeks & going on holiday with him . . . fast, imo. Learning to put the brakes on especially when you know the other person will have to be away for long times is a way to guard your heart going forward. Time will help you heal. Make a list of all the reasons you are better off apart. Start with the fact that he's a cheater & a coward. I call him a coward because you found out about the other girl from her not him.
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