LooperDooper Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 (edited) I've written before, we broke up officially a couple of weeks ago, I see her every damn day at school and I'm going crazy. At school I'm fine, I talk to other people, I try and smile as often as I can and to have fun. I think I do it so well that people think I was the jerk in the relationship and that I broke up with her. The story is we were picking fights about everything, I asked her for change in the relationship, she said nothing was going to change so she decided it was best to break up, I insisted on working things out since I do love her and was willing to go back to what made us get together in the first place but she had no faith in this ever changing. This really hurt me and so I stayed for a week talking to her normal about giving it some time and patience (she wanted to be friends and said she hated seeing me far from her life) but I got tired of putting my part and her ignoring or declining me. Now I've started NC for my own good but I need help. I know NC is for me, yet I still think everyday that one of these days my absence will make her come to me. Her birthday is on Saturday, my entire class and all my friends are going, I've already declined nor do I plan on wishing her a happy birthday, but it hurts to feel alone and rejected. I treated her very well (maybe too well?) and I even forgave her on things maybe I shouldn't have. On the outside and at school I tend to do a good job pretending, but seriously all I think about is her and when I'm back at home I get very sad and miss her, I'm very hurt that I didn't even get a consideration to try things differently from her. I've been tempted to contact her, but resisted successfully. I plan on keeping this NC for as long as possible, but I'm suffering every day because I see her. I'm not exactly a bad catch and some girls in class have insinuated with me, but I'm actually really noble and find 0 girls attractive except for her, it's a disaster in my head lol. I know somebody will ask, but no I cannot change classes. I go to a professional school outside of North America and things work a bit different. Please, help and support. I need it right now and this weekend, because it will suck thinking about her getting over me and drinking and maybe with other guys. Edited February 26, 2015 by LooperDooper
Always Pondering Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 I haven't read your other thread(s) but you're doing great for just five days of NC. For you to be able to already decline her "friendship" request as well as dismiss her birthday as just another day is already a good start for you. You made a smart decision in not going to her birthday party. Worst case scenario if you went is that she ends up hooking up with someone right in front of you, maybe even one of your friends. The pain you feel and the expectation that your absence will "make her grow fond of you" is in my opinion, completely natural at this point. From what I've seen, the vast majority of dumpees have the same mindset that you currently have at just five days NC. Since you tend to feel really down in the dumps when you're alone (again, it's natural), try to see if you can pick up a new hobby or spend some more time studying/hanging out with friends if able. That'll help the lonely thoughts go away and you'll be happier. It'll be rough on the holidays and the quiet nights, that's for sure. You can "change" classes for next semester though, right? You can tough it out until then, I'm sure.
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