atorres Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 Hey all, new here and recently got dumped. Although I know it's normal to feel sad and have her in my head now, I'm just pretty confused. Here's my story: My ex and I were together for 2 and a half years and she decided to end it with me. Like usual, the relationship started amazing and it stayed amazing for about a year and a half. Suddenly her father passed away, without any warning and our relationship went downhill. I was always trying my best to be supportive, always trying to be there for her and show her how much I loved and cared about her to help her through such a hard time for her. Anyways, it got the point where no matter what I did or how !much effort I put in she would sometimes say she sees it but a day later she would say it wasn't enough. So fast forward, she decided to end things with me about a month ago and knowing that our relationship was becoming toxic with constant fighting over absolutely nothing, to jealousy issues (both of us), to wanting to spend more time together, more attention, etc, I agreed to it. We agreed that we can still talk but the relationship is over. She said it was best that we move on and cut our conversations shorter and speak less. She went partying for 2 nights in a row and was pretty cold to me when I messaged her. I eventually stopped messaging because it was hurting me knowing she was out having a good time and I was feeling depressed. Eventually I found the strength to go out with my buds and she apparently found out I went out. I got home and received a "I miss you" text. I messaged back I miss you too thinking we would get back together but I was so wrong. Suddenly she started being cold again saying she doesn't want me back. I then decided it was time to go NC. I cut her from Facebook, removed all of our pics together, etc. She messaged me saying, "so you deleted me eh?" And I responded (stupidly) saying I'm doing what you told me to do and move on. Now here's where it gets confusing (well to me at least), she tells me that if I was to hook up with anyone, I have to let her know because then our chances of getting back together are gone. But then she says a couple days later that she's been trying to move on which is why she hasn't spoken to me as much. I then told her that I decided to finally stop hanging up on the hopes of you taking me back and move on with my life. She didn't like that, she started blaming me for everything that went wrong in our relationship and that I was giving her attitude when I was merely speaking to her in a firm matter. I decided for myself to not let her play her mind games on me and just cut off contact for good. Her final message to me was that I ruined every chance of getting back together because she didn't like my tone and my decision to go NC and move on. Sorry for the long story.... Just haven't really been able to vent my feelings and thoughts. My question though, did she even want me back or was I right that she was stringing me along?
quattrob Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 When someone wants you back, trust me you'll know for sure. She just wanted to make you look like the bad one by trying to make you feel guilty, pushing the blame about possibility of getting back together on you, that you ruined it. She's nothing but an immature drama queen. Forget about her and move on 1
ManyDissapoint Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 She was absolutely 100% stringing you along and playing mind games to ease her guilt and shift blame onto you. It all smells very similar to some bad garbage I dealt with back in December. Full NC, and begin healing from the hurt caused by this very immature person.
sabd Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 Wants to eat her cake and have it too. She sounds like a drama queen! You're well out of that. Stick with your NC and forget about her, you definitely deserve better.
lolablue17 Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 Yes, she's stringing you along. She's decided to break up. But it's cold and frightening out there, so she wants a backup protection. She wants herself to try to move on, but you shouldn't move on because then you're not functioning as a solid backup. So this is her selfish plan, and when you don't play the part in her plan (being a doormat), it irritates her. Tell her that no matter what will happen, you don't want her back ever again because you finally understood who she really is and go NC. You can also go straight NC.
Author atorres Posted February 26, 2015 Author Posted February 26, 2015 thanks for all the responses. It's time to move on 1
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