jessgirl23 Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 (edited) Been exclusive with a guy since November. He has a new job, he used to always text me in the mornings and tell me when he was going to work and then text me after work until bed. All of a sudden he stopped doing that, and would only send a few texts a day, and that's it. So I ended it out of lack of effort he was putting in (didn't come visit me or take me on dates) he never replied so i called him two days later and he agreed on putting in effort. He said he never replied because he was too mad and didn't want to say something he'd regret later on. So I said i'd like to be able to talk more or at least call me at night before bed since it's a long distance relationship and we only see each other once every week or sometimes once every two weeks. He then agreed to it, and said i was kind of being needy and that I shouldn't worry when he doesn't text me everyday but I was and I over think everything. He called me drunk and confessed his love for me and all this stuff the next night. I went up to visit him for the night and we went out to the movies and he paid. Brought up the call, in which he said he did love me and that he's never felt like this about a girl before, and described what I was wearing the moment he first saw me. Even remembered how I just had got my hair done that day. We agreed to going out for dinner together on Sunday (day after valentines day) and then left to go home. We texted the next day throughout the day and then he texted me the next day good morning. But then nothing for the past three days ... I texted him only once a day wishing he had a good day and all this stuff, just to be nice and send a cute text to make work better but nothing .. not even a reply, not even a call at night like he had promised. I get he's busy at work, but the communication got worse and worse with me and him. I ended it and said I deserved better and a goodbye. Nothing... on valentines day, I tried calling him, I missed him. I didn't mean to end it, I just got upset with him doing this again to me. Later at night, I tried again and nothing .. not even a response to my texts. Not even the next day he replied ... I just don't know if he's mad at me again and not responding because of it or he was ignoring me in the first place to make me end it with him? We were perfect the last time I saw him .. and same with the texting the next day .. we were saying we missed each other, etc. Even if he didn't want to get back together, I'd at least like so closure saying he does not, but instead I've been getting ignored and I've told him that I'd just like closure. I stopped texting him, its been a week and a half and still nothing from him ... he hasn't even been on social media or anything .. I want him back, I haven't had such a connection with someone before and he's said the same. I am willing to stop being needy and accepting the fact that he's busy with work and that I shouldn't expect so much from him. This past week and a half I've realized that I just want him back in my life, even as a friend. I've been wanting to purpose that, since he said he was too busy for a relationship. Before I was begging for him back in the texts, but now I've realized that it all happened for a reason, but now I just want to be on good terms and purpose that. Is that too much to ask? I've gone on a date to try and move on but I pushed him away ... Just end up comparing him to my ex. Edited February 26, 2015 by jessgirl23
Zahara Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 (edited) I am willing to stop being needy and accepting the fact that he's busy with work and that I shouldn't expect so much from him. First of all, busy is not an excuse. It's a cop out. When someone is important to you, you make time. It doesn't take but seconds to send a text. He can text you when he's having lunch. He can call you on his drive home after work. He can call you when he's in bed retiring for the day. He can text you when he's on the potty doing #2 in the AM. Stop accepting excuses. You start walking on eggshells for these types of guys and you'll end up tolerating all sorts of excuses. This past week and a half I've realized that I just want him back in my life, even as a friend. You can't be friends when you are emotional. Plus, you're being dishonest when you say you'd be happy even as friends. If you heard tomorrow that he's sleeping with another woman, you'd be happy for him? Or would you be brokenhearted? Your last ditch effort to keep a lifeline to him -- friends. I've been wanting to purpose that, since he said he was too busy for a relationship. Before I was begging for him back in the texts, but now I've realized that it all happened for a reason, but now I just want to be on good terms and purpose that. Is that too much to ask? Help You need to move past this guy. Go out and date men that are able and available to court/date you. Able to spend time with you and invest themselves in a relationship with you. You want good terms because you can't stand that he is ignoring you. Stop chasing someone that doesn't respect or value you enough to even acknowledge you. Edited February 26, 2015 by Zahara 5
mammasita Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 A text takes but 3 seconds to send. Busy is never an excuse, unfortunately he's just lost interest or found someone else. When someone is truly interested and you aren't just an option.....NOTHING will keep them away. 4
sabd Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 There's no excuse for the silent treatment. Its extremely immature and causes huge damage. Anyone who treats you like this needs to leave your life. Permanently.
d0nnivain Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 The fact that he called you to profess his love, you agreed a new normal & he promised to spend Valentines Day with you, but then disappeared & hasn't been heard from since is rotten. It is break up worthy. I get that you are lonely & want him back but my Q is why? He hasn't done anything to merit forgiveness. You do need to do some soul searching about the amount of contract you require during the day. Post college, it's unrealistic to expect somebody to check in multiple times per day. They have a job to do & that has to be a priority.
LivinDeadGrl Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 If a guy is interested in you he will show it. Stop wasting your time, he's just not that into you. It hurts and it's hard to accept sometimes but you'll be better off in the end.
Author jessgirl23 Posted March 25, 2015 Author Posted March 25, 2015 Three weeks later and he texted me to call him and said he loved me and he wanted me back. that his phone broke for a phone month and he couldn't see his screen to contact me. TOTAL BULL****. i let him call me .. (stupid) talked for 4 hours, said i love you to each other again and he texted me the next day all day and said good night, back to how he was at the start. the next day, i had to text him first, told him to call me at night since i was busy all day, so he texted me at 9 after work to see if i still wanted a call. i just said he's probably busy with friends, that he could call me before bed, so i agreed and he did too. he stopped texting me after that and then never called me that night .... 12:30 came, i just sent a text saying i was going to sleep, and not to worry about the txt. nothing.... he then never apologized in the morning and just texted me "good morning babe" at noon. i answered and just said "good afternoon" (was kind of upset). nothing.... texted him at 5 saying i was having a rough day and wished he was having a good day, nothing... and he opened my snapchat. it's just the same stuff over and over again.... he said he was coming to see me sunday, but i know that even if the hangout goes well, he'll still be the same when we're not together. help!
Simon Phoenix Posted March 25, 2015 Posted March 25, 2015 He communicates with you when it's convenient for him and doesn't give a crap about any of your needs, wants and feelings. You're foolish if you continue to interact with him. You should not meet him Sunday or any other day. You're just wasting your time. 2
Karin2rinkashi Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 He communicates with you when it's convenient for him and doesn't give a crap about any of your needs, wants and feelings. You're foolish if you continue to interact with him. You should not meet him Sunday or any other day. You're just wasting your time. He is just using you.... trust me I have done that in the past...... He ain't interested.....
NC-Thomas Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 As a guy I can tell that he's not interested. I've been with girl i truly liked and wanted to spend time with, and I have been with girls just for casual sex. I think he wants the latter and you want the first. If that is true, then you two have different agenda's and you should get rid of him. On the other hand, some people are just lazy texters and it take some time for them to respond. But I think we've got something bigger here.
FancyFace Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Girl, he's just not that into you. Stop talking to him, stop indulging him, stop massaging his gigantic ego by showing him that no matter how bad he treats you, you will still be right there waiting for him like some lovesick puppy. Block him and move on.
Author jessgirl23 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 I think he's just busy with work, he snapchatted me back later and he said he'd call me and he did. and kept txting me after. I think i'm just being needy and expecting him to text me 24/7 while he's at work.
Karin2rinkashi Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 I think he's just busy with work, he snapchatted me back later and he said he'd call me and he did. and kept txting me after. I think i'm just being needy and expecting him to text me 24/7 while he's at work. When we like a girl, we text them from hell. We tell the angel of death to give us a break because this girl is waiting on a reply.... If we don't reply in time... meaning we just aren't into you that much....
Author jessgirl23 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 When we like a girl, we text them from hell. We tell the angel of death to give us a break because this girl is waiting on a reply.... If we don't reply in time... meaning we just aren't into you that much.... What if he works all day until 9 and is constantly walking from house to house.
badpenny Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Yeah, what if.... Does life stop after 9? Is there a pause between one house and the next? Please, honey....
DJOkawari Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 If he wanted to text you, he would. On the other hand he is getting back to you some times and is keeping his promise about calling you, etc. Just relax. He cares enough to do exactly what he is doing. If he cared more he'd do more. Stopping massaging his ego is the correct thing to do and you're right you are being needy. Don't ask for his attention so much so that when he wants to give it to you, he does. Then he's doing something because he wants it and you'll feel that love. Or he won't...and that's that.
Author jessgirl23 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 If he wanted to text you, he would. On the other hand he is getting back to you some times and is keeping his promise about calling you, etc. Just relax. He cares enough to do exactly what he is doing. If he cared more he'd do more. Stopping massaging his ego is the correct thing to do and you're right you are being needy. Don't ask for his attention so much so that when he wants to give it to you, he does. Then he's doing something because he wants it and you'll feel that love. Or he won't...and that's that. Thing is, when he texted me for me back and called me, he texted me right in the morning and whenever he was free and would text me until night and say goodnight, now that he knows he has me back, he doesn't put in that much effort and just texts me at noon and usually won't text me back since noon until after work at 9.
Author jessgirl23 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 I don't trust him anymore, I feel like it's always lies after lies. He stopped texting me at 1 and then i snapchatted him, he opened it at 3. I just always feel like theres someone else.... that he was talking to some other girl on the phone instead of texting me.
Author jessgirl23 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 I don't trust him anymore, I feel like it's always lies after lies. He stopped texting me at 1 and then i snapchatted him, he opened it at 3. I just always feel like theres someone else.... that he was talking to some other girl on the phone instead of texting me to say atleast goodnight....
Simon Phoenix Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 What if he works all day until 9 and is constantly walking from house to house. It means that you are going to make any and all possible excuses for him because you are desperate for him to like you in the way you like him. And that's what you are doing. The road you are wanting to go down is not a fun one. Buckle up.
mightycpa Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 What if he works all day until 9 and is constantly walking from house to house.it means he's going to lose a ton of weight from walking all day and not stopping for even a 20 minute lunch or even a pee break. or to send you a text, if you missed my drift. 2
dyna85 Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 I don't trust him anymore, I feel like it's always lies after lies. He stopped texting me at 1 and then i snapchatted him, he opened it at 3. I just always feel like theres someone else.... that he was talking to some other girl on the phone instead of texting me. Trust your gut, girl. It never lies. I would kick this one to the curb and when he comes crying, call foul on that. You've made it far to easy for him to put you on the back burner. Time to say sayonara and regain your power. You're worth more than to be someone's backburner option. Why waste your time on someone who keeps playing with you when there are so many men out there who would treat you the way you deserve? This guy is not worth it. At all. 2
ZiggyZoo Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 I don't trust him anymore, I feel like it's always lies after lies. He stopped texting me at 1 and then i snapchatted him, he opened it at 3. I just always feel like theres someone else.... that he was talking to some other girl on the phone instead of texting me to say atleast goodnight.... That's a bingo! I can't decide to put my money on another woman, emotionally unavailable, or just not into you. He's showing signs of all three, so anything's possible. Of course, the real question is why you're still flogging this dead horse? Relationships are tough enough when both parties are invested, they're near impossible when one is barely trying. Move on, start NC and getting past all this, and focus your energies on a guy who wants to text and be with you. I've been in your situation, and it'll turn into your ego needing to make him want to be with you. Not YOU wanting to be with HIM, just wanting him to want you. If that makes sense. But it's a losing battle, and you will not win it.
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