Aj123 Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 Quick question/ thoughts of the loveshack community. When i was dumped 4 months ago i agreed to stay friends with her and i did the casual chit chat txting cause i still cared about her and i still love her. When i would see her in person we be smiling and making happy conversation even though im beat up on the inside. For 2 months now im doin no contact and removed her from all social media, and when i bumped into her she was very cold and basically didnt wanna have anything to do with me. My question is why? She broke up with me why the hell would she care if i just stopped contacting her or deleted her from facebook and stuff. Also she starting seeing some other guy, all the more reason about why is she acting that way. Any thoughts? I do still love her and would love to get back together but im no longer going to pursue her, she dumped me so she should be the one to come crawling back am i right?
ghsteo Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 Because more than likely she hasn't had the chance to process the breakup and the disappearance of you in her life yet. Same with you, keep up the NC. She's cold because she's starting to hurt and process not having you in her life anymore. 1
towardthefuture Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 In order to break up with someone people often do these mental gymnastics to frame the whole relationship as negative, toxic, and you as someone who sucks. If you keep talking to them, they have to hold onto that mental framework. If you disappear, they can let it go and see the ups and downs as they really were, and see their part in why it didn't work. The other benefit is it gives you time to work on yourself so when/if they come back around, whether they want to get together or not, they think 'Who's this guy, that's not the guy I remember. Maybe I was holding him back and/or maybe I made a mistake." That said, you go NC so you can get over it. It's not healthy or attractive to tunnel vision your life's purpose on trying to impress someone who doesn't even want to be around you. 1
mightycpa Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 I think it's because she can't empathize with you. She was very willing to be pals, but could not imagine how that harmed the you. You rejected her as a friend, which she resents, because in her mind, she was being perfectly nice and reasonable. In her mind, you had no cause to act like that. She developed this FU! attitude because she thinks you're an ******* for rejecting her as a friend, while it makes sense that she could reject you as a lover because that's different. Can you imagine? 2
sabd Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 Her ego was bruised, is all. She felt rejected by you going No Contact on her and ending the friendship. 1
erklat Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 It's not friendship, it is friendzone. He has every right ending it and the only reason she is mad is because validation that she is not terrible person that came with your approval of your 'friendship' is gone. 1
SycamoreCircle Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 She discarded you. She could have tried to make things work. She discarded you. Seeing you reminds her of her selfishness. By attaching feelings of discomfort, displeasure, and coldness, she reaffirms her right to be rid of you.
PegNosePete Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 For 2 months now im doin no contact and removed her from all social media, and when i bumped into her she was very cold and basically didnt wanna have anything to do with me. Surely this is simply cause and effect. You deleted her, she saw that as an insult and therefore didn't want to have anything to do with you. If you're NC then why do you even care? Having nothing to do with her is the whole point, isn't it? You do know what NC means, right?
Author Aj123 Posted February 26, 2015 Author Posted February 26, 2015 Surely this is simply cause and effect. You deleted her, she saw that as an insult and therefore didn't want to have anything to do with you. If you're NC then why do you even care? Having nothing to do with her is the whole point, isn't it? You do know what NC means, right? I do know what NC means.... But i care bcuz i still care about her but i dont wanna chase her only to get hurt
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