palmer14 Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 To keep things short, we were together for a year and 2 months, and broke up exactly a month ago today. We are both in our first year of college after beginning the relationship the beginning of senior year of high school. We are going to different colleges, but in the same town so physical distance was never a problem. This was her first real relationship, and she is extremely independent and emotionally guarded, so I guess she didn't do some things that a typical girlfriend would, but I liked it like that. Although, the relationship was mostly one sided on my part and that caused a little frustration towards her to build up over time. We always had an amazing time together, were best friends, and it really was just incredible. I was crazy about her. When college started, she had a lot going on and was enjoying making new friends, she also plays basketball for her school so she was pretty busy. I can get a little bit of social anxiety and can be awkward so hanging out with her and getting to spend more time alone with her than in high school was the only part I really liked about college. She started to get very distant but things would always get better when we spent some time together. Then, she told me she was having doubts about our future together, but things would always get better when we spent time together. I knew these were red flags, but I just thought when her basketball was done she would have more free time and things would be back to normal. She told me one night that she wanted me to go out and make more friends because I was putting too much pressure on her because I relied on her so much. I agreed, and knew I needed to change. She also agreed that she needed to communicate better and show me that she loved me more. We ended that night happy with things looking up. Immediately after this though, she totally shut me out and barely spoke to me and was acting very strange for about a week. I called her one night and told her it wasn't going to work like this and that I was sick of getting dragged along while she couldn't make up her mind on whether or not she wanted to be with me or not. I knew she was trying to detach herself from the relationship before it was over and I didn't know what to about it. We ended up breaking up over the phone and in person a week later. I have been totally NC after that. Some days are good and almost feel like a relief because I don't feel like I have a whole relationship completely on my shoulders, but some days I really miss her and don't understand what went wrong and how she could change how she felt about me so fast (I understand now that this was probably something she was dealing with for longer than I know). I can see myself getting over her, but I really miss her and I do love her. I can see a possibility of us getting back together in the future because we ended on good terms and we had a really close bond when things were good, but I am not expecting this. I know what I need to do to change myself for the better and I am putting myself first and am getting to the point where I can be happy without her. Anybody else ever deal with something similar to this? One day she would be begging me not to leave and telling me how much she loves me, and the next she could be completely cold. I think she just had too much on her plate and she couldn't make the relationship a priority. Sorry for the length, but any input would be appreciated!
mightycpa Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 What went wrong was that she's young, away from home in a new environment with new exciting people, and you are like an anchor in that environment. That ship has sailed, so to speak. It has happened to millions of people just like you. All you can do about it is to accept that this is how things are, and find some nice girls to spend some romantic time with at your school. Also, find some new friends, and some new things to do. You're in a great place in your life. Try to enjoy this short time.
Author palmer14 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Posted February 25, 2015 What went wrong was that she's young, away from home in a new environment with new exciting people, and you are like an anchor in that environment. That ship has sailed, so to speak. It has happened to millions of people just like you. All you can do about it is to accept that this is how things are, and find some nice girls to spend some romantic time with at your school. Also, find some new friends, and some new things to do. You're in a great place in your life. Try to enjoy this short time. Yeah I have found some new friends and I am doing new things with all of my free time. It's tough because we spent so much time with each other's families and we live about 5 minutes away from each other when we aren't at school. It's hard to accept that she would suddenly be happier without me but I know that is what everyone says and nothing unique has really happened to me.
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