rov Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 Met a a girl last week on wednesday through tinder, we went for some lunch and coffee at a restaurant and everything seemed great. She is a writer, plays the piano and she is cute. She is 22 years old and lives which her grand mother. Her life is kind of a mess, she was in a 6 year relationship, at the second year of the relationship the guy guy became a drug addict, she told me she helped him looking for the money to pay for the dealers that selled him drugs so they would not hurt him for not paying. They guy tried to killed him and her in the car 4 times because he needed drugs and couldn't have them at that moment. she broke up with him 2 years ago. Her parents are divorced. Her mother lives in the US with a guy he married and her father has been married 3 times, her father is an unfaithful man and flirts with this girl´s friends At the end of the date we set up our next date for saturday at the cinema and some dinner. In the cinema she grabbed my hand and holded hands with me during the movie, she made the move. Then while walking to the restaurant I grabbed her hand again and she hugged me and at the end of the date she said goddby to me on with a kiss on the lips, I thought the date went great. At the end of the date she agreed to go to the bowling alley this week so I told her Ill call her on monday to set the date. I called her yesterday and told her when she was free to get together and she told me that she would call me back in the night because her mom came here to Mexico and was staying with her and that her mother would go with her to the doctor to make her some exams. She never called me back. Today I told her that if she would like to go to the bowling alley on friday or saturday and she told me she would leave the city for a few days, this sounded like a lie to me. So I asked her what was she looking for on tinder and she told me she doesn't know, she told me she never plans things, she just goes along. She told me she doesn't want a serious relationship right now because she is recovering from her abusive past relationship. I told her that I wasn't looking for a relationship but that I like her and that I would like to know her more and just live the present, she said that it was fine, that we could keep knowing each other. I told her on saturday that if she would like with me to a Ringo Starr concert on march 10. So today I asked her that if she will come to the concert and she said yes. My question is, what should I do here?. I mean: On saturday she grabs my hand and kisses me and this week she acts flakey to see me and says she wants nothing serious but when i asked her that we could keep knowing each other she agrees??
fitnessfan365 Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 Met a a girl last week on wednesday through tinder, we went for some lunch and coffee at a restaurant and everything seemed great. She is a writer, plays the piano and she is cute. She is 22 years old and lives which her grand mother. Her life is kind of a mess, she was in a 6 year relationship, at the second year of the relationship the guy guy became a drug addict, she told me she helped him looking for the money to pay for the dealers that selled him drugs so they would not hurt him for not paying. They guy tried to killed him and her in the car 4 times because he needed drugs and couldn't have them at that moment. she broke up with him 2 years ago. Her parents are divorced. Her mother lives in the US with a guy he married and her father has been married 3 times, her father is an unfaithful man and flirts with this girl´s friends At the end of the date we set up our next date for saturday at the cinema and some dinner. In the cinema she grabbed my hand and holded hands with me during the movie, she made the move. Then while walking to the restaurant I grabbed her hand again and she hugged me and at the end of the date she said goddby to me on with a kiss on the lips, I thought the date went great. At the end of the date she agreed to go to the bowling alley this week so I told her Ill call her on monday to set the date. I called her yesterday and told her when she was free to get together and she told me that she would call me back in the night because her mom came here to Mexico and was staying with her and that her mother would go with her to the doctor to make her some exams. She never called me back. Today I told her that if she would like to go to the bowling alley on friday or saturday and she told me she would leave the city for a few days, this sounded like a lie to me. So I asked her what was she looking for on tinder and she told me she doesn't know, she told me she never plans things, she just goes along. She told me she doesn't want a serious relationship right now because she is recovering from her abusive past relationship. I told her that I wasn't looking for a relationship but that I like her and that I would like to know her more and just live the present, she said that it was fine, that we could keep knowing each other. I told her on saturday that if she would like with me to a Ringo Starr concert on march 10. So today I asked her that if she will come to the concert and she said yes. My question is, what should I do here?. I mean: On saturday she grabs my hand and kisses me and this week she acts flakey to see me and says she wants nothing serious but when i asked her that we could keep knowing each other she agrees?? Haha.. yet another person trying to use Tinder as a serious dating app. Dude you do realize that it was intended to be for casual hook ups right? But man, your main mistake was telling the girl you like her. After knowing her a week. Such a major attraction killer. That's why she went cold on you. In general though, I wouldn't even associate with a girl like this. Out of a crappy six year relationship and her life is a mess on top of it? You've known her a week. Cut your losses and find a woman with a better head on her shoulders. 2
Omei Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 I cringe at people who are so willing to share their life story and sorrows on a first meet up. They want someone to "save them" make their life better. This girl is getting really into you romantically but you dont want a relationship, shes prob not able to tell the difference walk away. 1
Author rov Posted February 25, 2015 Author Posted February 25, 2015 I cringe at people who are so willing to share their life story and sorrows on a first meet up. They want someone to "save them" make their life better. This girl is getting really into you romantically but you dont want a relationship, shes prob not able to tell the difference walk away. I told her i didn't wanted a relationship as a response when she told me didn't want one, I didn't want to look too eager with her
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 Maybe she's just looking to hookup, nothing wrong with that op
fred123 Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 Haha.. yet another person trying to use Tinder as a serious dating app. Dude you do realize that it was intended to be for casual hook ups right? But man, your main mistake was telling the girl you like her. After knowing her a week. Such a major attraction killer. That's why she went cold on you. In general though, I wouldn't even associate with a girl like this. Out of a crappy six year relationship and her life is a mess on top of it? You've known her a week. Cut your losses and find a woman with a better head on her shoulders. iv told girls in the first week i like them.its only an attraction killer if she doesnt like you. people do t get this!
GoBlue Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 Take everything slow and keep your eyes wide open.
Gary S Posted February 26, 2015 Posted February 26, 2015 My question is, what should I do here?. I mean: On saturday she grabs my hand and kisses me and this week she acts flakey to see me and says she wants nothing serious but when i asked her that we could keep knowing each other she agrees?? - That was then, but this is now - she rejected two dates. You don't have a foundation for a relationship for two months. She told me she doesn't want a serious relationship right now because she is recovering from her abusive past relationship - this along with her flaky behavior, and her troubles from the past, means she is either on the rebound, or has excess emotional baggage. She's not relationship material at this time, at least not for you. No problem... you did well getting two dates! There are plenty more fish in the sea, and you only need one, so don't worry about.
Author rov Posted March 11, 2015 Author Posted March 11, 2015 New updates: yesterday I went with her to a concert of Ringo Starr, we spent six hours together. She met my father and sister who also went to the concert. And she held my hand when we crossed the the street and held my arm in our way to th ecar at the end of the concert. she didn't mind that my father and sister were there. We all went for dinner and then I took her home and at the end she says goodby with a double kiss in my mouth and she told me to tell her when I arrived home. I texted her when I arrived home and said to her I had a great time and good night. She replied good night!!! and sent an emoticon of a kiss. So Im a bit confused, she never initiates contact by text or anything. But yesterday she was the one who initiated the hand and arm holding and the kiss. Is she interested in me? or she just plays hard to get?. Any tips how to handle this?. Thanks!
smackie9 Posted March 11, 2015 Posted March 11, 2015 I told her i didn't wanted a relationship as a response when she told me didn't want one, I didn't want to look too eager with her Dude have some self worth. Just because you got a little tongue doesn't mean she wants a relationship. Since that is what you are truly looking for, save yourself the bs of someone going flaky on you and ditch her. She isn't going to want a relationship with you later, you are just wasting your time. When I hear "I don't want a reationship right now" or "I just got out of bad relationship" it actually means I'm not interested, I'm keeping my options open, I'm hoping my exe and I will get back together, I miss my exe, my exe is talking to me again, etc. She's not stupid, she knows you are just saying you don't want to. You are being a fool. Just stop seeing her and meet someone who isn't bogged down with baggage and wishy washy about what they want. 1
Author rov Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 but what confuses me is that after the second date when she told me that she doesn't want a relationship. I told her that we could know each other more and not necessarily be in a relationship and she agreed that we could date more and se what happens. But yesterday she holds my hands and my arm while walking almost all the time even in front of me father and my sister. And at the end she kisses me in the mouth two times. sounds like she is just seeing this as casual dating?. Today I told her if she wants to hangout on the weaken and she told me that she will not be available. Any tips?. thanks a lot
smackie9 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Well there is nothing stopping her from dating others, and usually people who are multi dating save the weekend for someone else. She's out fishing. You might get some sex out of her if that it the main goal. Just play it kool, date other women, and don't push her....let her earn your attention. Tip: don't let her affections go to your head. This is how women control guys like you. You don't want any women like this get the upper hand. To be less available is more desirable.
Author rov Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 Well there is nothing stopping her from dating others, and usually people who are multi dating save the weekend for someone else. She's out fishing. You might get some sex out of her if that it the main goal. Just play it kool, date other women, and don't push her....let her earn your attention. Tip: don't let her affections go to your head. This is how women control guys like you. You don't want any women like this get the upper hand. To be less available is more desirable. Great tip man!!, Ill follow it. Girls like this are relationship material or they are just hookup material?
Gary S Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 but what confuses me is that after the second date when she told me that she doesn't want a relationship. - Oh. This changes everything. She has issues. You can play with her if you want (I wouldn't), but you will likely get burned. Some people have serious issues and are not a catch.
Author rov Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 - Oh. This changes everything. She has issues. You can play with her if you want (I wouldn't), but you will likely get burned. Some people have serious issues and are not a catch. When she told me these I told her we could date and get to know each other know with not necessarily entering a relationship, just see what happens, and she agreed. But her behavior is confusing.
Author rov Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 (edited) Ok, all of you are right. This girl has a lot of emotional baggage and is not mentally healthy. Today she sent me a text saying this: I have to be honest with you, I don't feel good in any aspect of my life because I have worked in everything but not in me. I am not complete and I am not my best version. And my partner will not enjoy the best of me. Why the hell she sends this text out of the blue when last tuesday she was the one who was initiating holding hands with me all the time when walking and also my arm, and was telling me of plans we could do in the future. At the end of the night we kissed both times in the lips and she told me to tell her when I arrived home. What should I do now?. I have not acted neither clingy or needy with this girl Edited March 15, 2015 by rov
Auspecial Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 Another take on it is she is respecting her inner brakes and just wants to slow down. I wouldn't read anymore into it than that. Don't push her to meet, but don't just disappear, unless she makes it known that she doesn't want to get together.
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