freetolove Posted February 24, 2015 Posted February 24, 2015 We've been on 3 dates, he initated the first one, I initated the other 2. He's extremely cautious but each time we spend time he is really happy and says he has a great time. I have my heart set on this guy so I don't want to stop chasing him. Any ideas?
Gaeta Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 I suggest you relax and not go overboard with the chasing. You set the 2nd date so technically he should come up with the 3rd one. Those 3 first dates are really touchy! Don't over do it, give him some space to think about you and to reach out to you. 1
losangelena Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 Why is your heart set on someone you've been out with three times? 2
fitnessfan365 Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 You've only had three dates, but your heart is already set? Slow it down a bit, allow there to be some space in the beginning and just have fun together. It seems like women are hard wired to have "feelings" for guys who they don't know where they stand with. If this guy was always pursuing you and asking you out constantly, he'd get the nice guy but speech..LOL Now speaking from a guy's POV, if I'm interested in a woman I make plans with her plain and simple. Granted I'm busy and am not pursuing her or being a texting buddy. But when she reaches out to see how I am, I use that as the opportunity to make the next date. So if he is never making an effort to actually make definite plans with you, he either isn't interested or sees you as a back up. 1
writergal Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 I agree. Let him miss you and ask you out for the next date. Don't chase guys to date you. Let them chase you. Signs that you're chasing a guy: You set up all the dates. He doesn't. You contact him, to ask him why he hasn't been in touch with you. You always initiate the contact with him first, whether it's via email, text, IM, or by phone (no one calls each other anymore though). You invite him to join you in a fun activity that you've planned to do. You put your needs, wants, desires second to his to please him. You pay for his dinner & drinks, you pay his bills, you pay for his movie & concert tickets. You don't ask him to reimburse you. This is just some of the things women do to chase men. The list is infinite. Don't do any of the things I mentioned. Let this guy chase you. Guys like the chase especially when they are attracted to the woman. If you chase him, he'll take advantage of your good nature and give you mixed messages and cloud your judgment about who he really is and what his intentions are with you. 2
Author freetolove Posted February 25, 2015 Author Posted February 25, 2015 He paid for all the dates, I tried paying but he insisted. I like him a lot so I have my heart set. I do "bug" him consistently. Every two days or so. How much is enough time in between?
writergal Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 He paid for all the dates, I tried paying but he insisted. I like him a lot so I have my heart set. I do "bug" him consistently. Every two days or so. How much is enough time in between? Stop bugging him freetolove. Just calm down and let him initiate the contact from now on. Bugging him every couple of days is chasing him, and is a sign that you are clingy and needy for his attention. If you really like him, you need to let this develop at a slower pace, naturally. You can't force him to like you as intensely as you like him. It has to grow and be mutual between both people.
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 He paid for all the dates, I tried paying but he insisted. I like him a lot so I have my heart set. I do "bug" him consistently. Every two days or so. How much is enough time in between? If what you want (him) isn't what he wants, there is no hope. He knows how to get in touch with you. If he hasn't reached out after 2 days, & 3 dates, I'd give him at least the full week but then I would assume that he's just not interested. Sorry. While you are waiting skim a pop psychology book called He's Just Not that Into You.
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