Why do so many people not have any morals anymore?

[Woggle]

Sexism is never a good thing and should never be promoted or encouraged. That being said a man with self respect is not a sexist or a misogynist even though we often are accused of being so.

[Selfish]

Sexism is never a good thing and should never be promoted or encouraged. That being said a man with self respect is not a sexist or a misogynist even though we often are accused of being so.

 

But usually that is by people who our sexist themselves.

[DukeNukem47]

If male and females stopped with the sexism the world would be a better place.

 

There is nothing good about discrimating against a person because of their genitial. We are equels. We may have differences but those differences do not make one superior to another.

 

Tell that to women with their constant feminist rantings.

 

We do not have equal rights. We are far beyond that. Women are trying to obtain power for themselves.

[Phoe]

Sexism is never a good thing and should never be promoted or encouraged. That being said a man with self respect is not a sexist or a misogynist even though we often are accused of being so.

 

Middle ground. Respect for self and others. And you've got that, Woggle.

 

I would not consider you misogynist!

[Auspecial]

I agree, the amount of people who appear to have no morals and no regard for others is frightening... whether it's in relationships, friendships, or justr stranger to stranger.

 

But I will say that a lot of the morals I have, and a lot of the good I try to practice is inspired by what I see in others. So there's still enough good out there to be noticed!

 

 

 

Great comment Phoe! The bad is discussed more, but the GOOD is there more!

[Woggle]

Middle ground. Respect for self and others. And you've got that, Woggle.

 

I would not consider you misogynist!

 

I admit I used to be but not anymore. It's not good to walk around with the kind of seething hatred for the opposite sex my mother has. Gender issues sometimes get me worked up but I am trying to work on that.

[GravityMan]

It seems all I hear about these days is people cheating while married or in relationships & some of the stories I've heard are severely ****ed up. One in particular was a woman having sex in her backyard with some guy while the boyfriend/husband was waiting for her to get back inside. He did find out about it eventually, I forget how, but he took her back supposedly. God only knows why. Also, another was of a groom having sex with one of the bridesmaids right before the wedding. They got divorced eventually after she found out about all the cheating. I mean what's going on these days for people to do such awful things to the person their supposed to care about?

 

I think it's worth pointing out that many people tend to be more likely to talk about experiences and situations that are negative, shocking or outlandish (good or bad) in some way. After all, such experiences generally linger on people's minds and trigger stronger emotional feelings. On the other hand, when life is in a "happy normal" state, many people are just living it and enjoying it in stride.

 

Furthermore, many of us tend to pay more attention to stories and incidents that lie far outside the norm (relatively speaking), since those things are likely to have some degree of shock value. Some may mistakenly overreact and conclude that such incidents are signs of some trend, when the reality is that due to the ease of information flow these days (and some people being less on the down-low), we just hear about them more often.

 

I don't think the stories you've heard are evidence of a deterioration of morals on a widespread scale, nor are they proof that the frequency of cheating is on the rise. To be clear, I'm not saying that I think that cheating is or isn't on the increase.

 

There was plenty of shenanigans and lots of disingenuous people 30-50 years ago.

[Selfish]

I admit I used to be but not anymore. It's not good to walk around with the kind of seething hatred for the opposite sex my mother has. Gender issues sometimes get me worked up but I am trying to work on that.

 

I "had" a friend who is a man hater. It started small. The little comments people make on here. She only saw the bad in the opposite sex. Basically a one rotten apple approach. It grew so much that even as a woman I could not handle her anymore. She was someone who gave feminism a bad name. Personaly I prefer now saying "equalism". But for her it started small and i could see how it started. Chauvenistic father, mentally abused mother, her bad choice with men and then she was raped.

 

But she isn't happier hating men. Nor is she in a better place.

 

Just because there are extreme feminists or extreme machoism doesn't justify one's own mysogenynor misandry. It is something you personaly need to take responsibility for. Not blame the other sex.

[Gloria25]

OMG,

 

I just saw a commercial on A&E that this series called "Love Thy Neighbor" is coming soon.

 

It's a series about neighborhoods of swingers...and not on the Playboy channel, ok?

 

Nasty and foul to say the least.

 

But, why am I not surprised...it's a sliding slope, the more casual we get about sex, the worst its gonna get.

 

And yes, swingers are nothing new - but a "reality TV" show about it? Great, just great - glamorize the all you want.

[NJ123]

OMG,

 

I just saw a commercial on A&E that this series called "Love Thy Neighbor" is coming soon.

 

It's a series about neighborhoods of swingers...and not on the Playboy channel, ok?

 

Nasty and foul to say the least.

 

But, why am I not surprised...it's a sliding slope, the more casual we get about sex, the worst its gonna get.

 

And yes, swingers are nothing new - but a "reality TV" show about it? Great, just great - glamorize the all you want.

 

There's also that show on USA Network called Satisfaction that's a show about cheating. It's ridiculous what their putting on TV today. It's like their making it seem like all of this is okay to do, & like it's everyday normal behavior for a married couple.

[MissBee]

It seems all I hear about these days is people cheating while married or in relationships & some of the stories I've heard are severely ****ed up. One in particular was a woman having sex in her backyard with some guy while the boyfriend/husband was waiting for her to get back inside. He did find out about it eventually, I forget how, but he took her back supposedly. God only knows why. Also, another was of a groom having sex with one of the bridesmaids right before the wedding. They got divorced eventually after she found out about all the cheating. I mean what's going on these days for people to do such awful things to the person their supposed to care about?

 

Cheating has existed since the dawn of time and humankind.

 

Read the Bible if you are curious about scandalous stories of people sleeping with other people's wives, sisters, brothers, servants, the rest. There is even a commandment against coveting other people's spouses. It clearly existed because it was a thing people were already doing, so it's not a new fangled concept.

 

As I said in another thread it seems lots of people ignorantly idealize the past as some pure, glorious time where things were better totally ignoring the realities that this is not factual and many of the problems we have now existed through out time, sometimes in the exact same manner, sometimes worse and sometimes our own time is actually better in terms of particular things.

 

Cheating and lying seem to be pan-human negative traits that most societies frown upon but they've also existed as long as humans have so it's not a "nowadays" issue. I assure you, 50 years ago people were screwing around, 100 years ago too and 1000 years ago. My grandmother had lots of scandalous stories to tell (not necessarily of herself but she was a natural story teller with all kinds of colorful stories about different people in the community she grew up with and during her time as a young woman in the city and so on) and one of her favorite things to say was she was young too and nothing is new under the sun.

[cocorico]

I think what has changed is 1) how people talk about it, and 2) who talks about it, and to whom / through what medium.

[Gloria25]

I think what has changed is 1) how people talk about it, and 2) who talks about it, and to whom / through what medium.

 

Agreed....

 

Like teen pregnancies. There was a time the girl would be shamed so bad that she'd not return to high school, leave town and have the baby in secret, etc.

 

Now a days, they parade big bellies down school hallways and parents, family, friends throw them baby showers and treat them as if they are doing something courageous

[Arieswoman]

To go back to the OP....

 

Cheating isn't new, we just hear about it more because of social media etc.

 

see woggle - post #72.

 

We can never stop our significant others cheating on us because we can't control other people's actions. However, as Carhill says in post #72 we can lessen the odds a bit by who we associate with.

 

Also a person's past behaviour is a good indication of their future behaviour.

 

I once belong to an interest group and became friendly with 4 other girls. I gradually learned that;

1. One was a widow who had been having an affair with her married boss for years (and the wife knew about it).

2. One was single but having an affair with a married man from another country.

3. One was living with a married man who left his alcoholic wife to be with her when he went bankrupt ( must be a real catch )

4. One was married but had left her husband in the past for another guy and then come back when he ran out of money.

 

I never made any moral judgements in my mind as I didn't believe it had any bearing on my life.

Then one day we attended an event and I took my guy along. When one of the girls (No.1) found out she said "That's good he's coming, now we can see how long it takes for us to get him off you"

 

I just laughed and told the guy about it. He said "Hmmmm, nice friends you've got."

 

After this I gradually slid out of the group. I never said anything or caused a row or called the girl out on this.

 

What I learned from this was that these girls just weren't on the same page as me. I moved on and found friends that were.

 

Lesson learned.

[No Limit]

Because they face no consequences. They could care less about their SO crying their eyes out or feeling bad, everything in the world centers about me and I. Ha, imagine what the world would be like if murder wouldn't be punished.

 

Nonetheless I doubt society has changed that much in just a few decades, things like cheating and betrayal are just more apparent now that you can read millions of reports and experiences on the internet.

[serial muse]

 

Ironic that the decline of just about everything (marriage, birth rates, the economy, etc) happened to occur at the same time as the rise of feminism, don't you think?

 

It's certainly true that marriage rates and birth rates were impacted by feminism; whether one considers that immoral or a bad thing at all is, obviously, a matter of personal view.

 

But, er...do you really think that "the economy" tanked along with the rise of feminism? I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here and guess you're pretty young and haven't studied much history...but let me assure you that "the economy" has tanked many times in many different countries over many centuries and it's never had jack shxt to do with equality for women. I mean this in all seriousness: If you spent half the time at actually learning facts about the past as you do wishing you were in it, your views would change significantly.

[SolG]

It's certainly true that marriage rates and birth rates were impacted by feminism; whether one considers that immoral or a bad thing at all is, obviously, a matter of personal view.

 

But, er...do you really think that "the economy" tanked along with the rise of feminism? I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here and guess you're pretty young and haven't studied much history...but let me assure you that "the economy" has tanked many times in many different countries over many centuries and it's never had jack shxt to do with equality for women. I mean this in all seriousness: If you spent half the time at actually learning facts about the past as you do wishing you were in it, your views would change significantly.

 

Thank you for a good laugh serial muse :-D And Duke, I'd recommend Kondratiev as a good start in terms of research about economic cycles if you're interested.

 

But raising economics in this thread is actually a good point. Throughout most of history it has not been considered 'immoral' at all for men to indulge in infidelity; that's actually a relatively recent addition to the morality menu. On the other hand, while financial/economic shenanigans has also always existed, there is historically no precedent to what we have experienced in recent times. Enron, sub prime, the EU, quantitative easing, commodity speculation/manipulation, the growing wealth distribution gap...

 

I was chatting with a litigation lawyer the other day about his current workload. He has been dealing a lot with administrators seeking to recoup funds from what is becoming known as 'wealthy bankrupts' who have hidden assets. We concluded that this kind of thing is on the rise because it's not like there's a great deal of example out there demonstrating fiscal responsibility!

 

If you're after a solid example of moral/ethical decline, I think the world of finance offers a much better illustration than infidelity!

[salparadise]

Ha, you should have been around in the late 60's to early 80's, before AIDS hit. Free love.

 

Or a few millennia before that...

In terms of history, monogamy has existed about two minutes. When moralistic idealism goes up against biology... biology is the odds on fav.

[TigerLilly78]

It seems all I hear about these days is people cheating while married or in relationships & some of the stories I've heard are severely ****ed up. One in particular was a woman having sex in her backyard with some guy while the boyfriend/husband was waiting for her to get back inside. He did find out about it eventually, I forget how, but he took her back supposedly. God only knows why. Also, another was of a groom having sex with one of the bridesmaids right before the wedding. They got divorced eventually after she found out about all the cheating. I mean what's going on these days for people to do such awful things to the person their supposed to care about?

 

Its because sex mean no more then a hand shake to way to many these days oh its just sex no big deal...people act like animals in heat and then wonder why there are negative repercussions..

 

 

 

Ha, you should have been around in the late 60's to early 80's, before AIDS hit. Free love.

 

It's not that people don't have morals. They do. The people you're focusing on simply have markedly different ones than you do, apparently.

 

I dealt with the same thing a couple generations ago, with sex, drugs and alcohol. Wondered what planet I had landed on. Here's the key....they didn't care and you know what? At the end of life it won't matter one bit. Neither their morals nor mine nor yours will ensure us anything in life, or even life itself. We'll all die the same. You think you'll die 'better' because you never hurt anyone, never intoxicated yourself or followed every rule society laid out? Nope. You'll just die and all those people you're railing about won't give a good god damn about your life, or death. That's how it works.

 

I usuilay love your posts car but I have to disagree on this one in this mentality why dont we all just go rob banks or beet up old lady's?..lol I mean its not going to matter anyways once we are all dead..

[Ethan78]

I "had" a friend who is a man hater. It started small. The little comments people make on here. She only saw the bad in the opposite sex. Basically a one rotten apple approach. It grew so much that even as a woman I could not handle her anymore. She was someone who gave feminism a bad name. Personaly I prefer now saying "equalism". But for her it started small and i could see how it started. Chauvenistic father, mentally abused mother, her bad choice with men and then she was raped.

 

But she isn't happier hating men. Nor is she in a better place.

 

It's an unsurprising story, but as for the rape it is unlikely that she will take responsibility for "her choice of men" as you put it. Feminists seem to want to remove the responsibility from women for making bad choices with men who commit domestic violence or sexual violence, and instead put that onto men in general. That is not to say all bad relationships happen in this way, but many do.

 

It is a known phenomenon in psychology that people make bad relationship choices based on their past experiences, that goes for men and women. It is quite annoying when I see women asking for sympathy when they have clearly made dubious choices. Your choice has nothing to do with me.

 

As for the woman you talk about being angry with men based on her father being a chauvinist I can kind of understand it. Since she has no basis for a good relationship with men there will be an awful lot to see in our culture that seems to be negative towards women that she finds it hard to deal with. Of course the real problem is having your own self-esteem and meeting a healthy partner of the opposite sex.

[carhill]

 

 

 

I usually love your posts car but I have to disagree on this one in this mentality why don't we all just go rob banks or beet up old lady's?..lol I mean its not going to matter anyways once we are all dead..

 

Why don't we? That's a good question.

 

I generally ponder that question best when interacting with LEO's at the gun range. They deal with people who do those things every day. It's a lifestyle (for the perps) matching their morality, just as our lifestyle matches our morality. It's a big world out there. Billions of people. Fortunately, the vast majority are socialized and behave in a relatively civilized and I daresay compassionate manner. Some don't.

 

I received an early education in the fruitless pursuit of influencing them, culminating in, well, a bit of blood and gore, reflecting perfectly their morality. Some things, and people, one can influence and change and others one can't. The wisdom is in knowing the difference. In general, people's morals don't change once their core personalities are solidified, generally in early adulthood but usually by their mid-20's. Those who include deception, mayhem and general lack of consideration for fellow humans will usually remain that way for life, absent life-altering events and/or incarceration by our system of law and order.

 

It seems the thread is mostly apparently about 'cheating' in the romantic sense but I took it to be a discussion about morality in general and some people 'not having morals'. Since infidelity has been discussed to death on this forum, I'll leave it at people have different viewpoints and morals surrounding infidelity but, generally, we all have moral standards we follow and we, generally, will always disagree on some aspects of them, as conflict is part of human nature and experience.

[Ethan78]

Why don't we? That's a good question.

 

I generally ponder that question best when interacting with LEO's at the gun range. They deal with people who do those things every day. It's a lifestyle (for the perps) matching their morality, just as our lifestyle matches our morality. It's a big world out there. Billions of people. Fortunately, the vast majority are socialized and behave in a relatively civilized and I daresay compassionate manner. Some don't.

 

I received an early education in the fruitless pursuit of influencing them, culminating in, well, a bit of blood and gore, reflecting perfectly their morality. Some things, and people, one can influence and change and others one can't. The wisdom is in knowing the difference. In general, people's morals don't change once their core personalities are solidified, generally in early adulthood but usually by their mid-20's. Those who include deception, mayhem and general lack of consideration for fellow humans will usually remain that way for life, absent life-altering events and/or incarceration by our system of law and order.

 

It seems the thread is mostly apparently about 'cheating' in the romantic sense but I took it to be a discussion about morality in general and some people 'not having morals'. Since infidelity has been discussed to death on this forum, I'll leave it at people have different viewpoints and morals surrounding infidelity but, generally, we all have moral standards we follow and we, generally, will always disagree on some aspects of them, as conflict is part of human nature and experience.

 

Part of the issue seems to be the idea of a "social contract". People have an incentive to behave and respect others if it is a two way street. Some criminals are resentful about their circumstances and the attitudes of society towards them and therefore fail to obey the law. I don't think anyone can say they are wrong. We live in societies where white collar dishonesty is legal and governments can get away with murder quite literally.

 

As for how this pertains to relationships. There is no ultimate moral code despite what we are led to believe. I was brought up to respect women and be fair, not to lie, and with even deeper religious morality, but I find the reality as an adult is that this works against me, particularly with women who often want pretence and are more likely to wilfully believe a liar than appreciate honesty.

 

The reality is that being properly socialised would include a clearer view of the world as being dishonest and unfair. It would then be down to experience how you apply it to your own relationships.

 

Personally I find it hard to break out of my view that I should be fair and not deceive others, but there is a lot to be said for being more cynical, deceptive and playing politics in human relationships. The people who do this will often have a better outcome than the people who do not. For anyone who claims this is necessarily a bad thing in the long term, it isn't, and even if it is in some cases, so what?

[Rejected Rosebud]

It's an unsurprising story, but as for the rape it is unlikely that she will take responsibility for "her choice of men" as you put it. Feminists seem to want to remove the responsibility from women for making bad choices with men who commit domestic violence or sexual violence, and instead put that onto men in general.

That is really untrue, yes women or anybody is responsible for their choices but rape or domestic violence is 100% the responsibility of the perpetrator and the victim is a victim of a crime no matter what their choices or how they lived their lives, even if they are a prostitute or a junkie or whatever!!

[elaine567]

Women have always cheated as have men.

It was seen as being usually OK for men to cheat in some past times, but for most women cheating was kept underground because a cheating woman had so much to lose, her good name, her husband, her house , her children.

 

Now we all shout sex from the roof tops, but just because it was mostly all hidden and kept under wraps in days gone by, doesn't mean it didn't happen just the same.

 

Lady Hamilton's 'come-on' poem to Lord Nelson to go under hammer

[NJ123]

Women have always cheated as have men.

It was seen as being usually OK for men to cheat in some past times, but for most women cheating was kept underground because a cheating woman had so much to lose, her good name, her husband, her house , her children.

 

Now we all shout sex from the roof tops, but just because it was mostly all hidden and kept under wraps in days gone by, doesn't mean it didn't happen just the same.

 

Lady Hamilton's 'come-on' poem to Lord Nelson to go under hammer

 

I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that the average woman could get sex much easier than the average man. So women are judged more harshly when they cheat or at least used to be. It seems it's not as severe though since we hear about it way more than before like it's almost acceptable behavior which is sad.