We've both moved on and we're still friends. But is he purposely avoiding me?

[adilaurentis]

I was good friends with this guy until a few months ago when things took a slight romantic turn between us and we started seeing each other as potential love interest. We didn't date feverishly but we did talk a lot and flirted often, although when we were platonic friends we connected very well too and talked rather frequently. Weird thing is we've also slept together three times and I think he wished there could be stronger romantic feelings there but he just didn't feel much toward me. So all that lasted about a few months and never turned into anything more.

 

We never defined that we were dating and seems like the friendship was still the prevailing factor there. So now we're both branching out and dating other people, it just seems like the "thing" between us came to an end. I know he never felt that strongly about me to begin with but now we never talk like we used to anymore, even compared to how everything was before the last few months. He used to be so quick to share his daily life or thoughts and emotions or just funny things he saw with me and now he appears to be distant. I know he's been pretty into the couple of girls he's been seeing lately so I'm sure that's a huge distraction but I do wonder if he's purposely avoiding me or just don't think about me anymore. I'm not distraught or anything but I thought even things didn't work out between us, at least we can still be good friends and share all those thoughts and good laughs like we used to.

 

At one point he was having some confusion with everything going on with this girl he's seeing and he asked my opinion. Before he did he also asked, "Can I talk to you about dating and relationship stuff or would that make you feel bad?" So I guess he's aware of our brief, almost-nothing history. In some ways this makes me feel angry and used because it feels like our friendship is conditional with some sort of shelf life, like he was only leaning on me earlier when he was getting over his ex, and then when things were slightly romantic he had an invested interest for a while. But now he's "stronger" and also seeing other people he's truly interested in, I'm no longer in the picture. Or maybe I'm just thinking too much about this?

[Buddhist]

People only have so much emotional energy you know. He's seeing other people and investing it there. So yes you are over thinking it. That's just what happens when people get involved with others. Female friends disappear too once they get boyfriends.

[Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646]

It's common for guy/girl friends (platonic) to become distant when they're each seeing other people - especially when there was a FWB thing going on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't read too much into it imo.

[adilaurentis]

I guess I can see that. But the weird thing is now he wouldn't even try to carry on or extend a normal, innocent conversation anymore. For example, we used to chat on Gchat while we're both at work about random things we thought of during the day or songs we're listening to that we both liked, etc. Now if I mention the same kind of stuff, he'd reply once or twice very briefly and then that's it. That's just very strange to me. I understand if friends get busier more often when they are involved with new love interests, but normal conversation cut short? That's just weird. I remember him being very engaged when we were just platonic friends, before the last few months happened, because we have a lot in common and talk about so many things. Now it feels like we're all of a sudden strangers or something.