Ty Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 So me and my ex have been broken up for a month, she broke up with me because she needed her space and independence. You can read the whole post on it.. its posted on here. She is only 19 (about to be 20 friday). She felt like she was missing out on the whole college experience.. I have accepted it. We have talked a few times since the breakup.. me being a retard asked her to hang out like 2 weeks after the breakup.. she declined because she said she doesn't trust herself around me, that it would entice her back into something when she really needs to be alone and gain her independence, figure out things.. etc We talked last tuesday (week and day ago) for like 30 minutes, just catching up, flirting, etc. I saw one of her friends at the bar last friday and he said she still likes me and all that. I've asked her to send my key back like 3 times since the breakup, first i texted her, then emailed her, then actually told her on the phone.. she makes up something about how she doesn't want to pay 2 dollars for postage and its unneccesary.. (this is coming from the person who used to buy me 50 dollar video games every week) anyway.. She says she hopes we can still talk on the phone like we did, because it was nice to chat with her, i told her that I would let her call first and I would judge it from that. She has not called, I kind of expected her not to because of how good things went on the phone, the chemistry between us is so great and when we talk on the phone with me I think it is like teasing us both. Anyway, her birthday is Friday and I don't want to be the one to break down and call her. I also don't want to leave a text saying happy birthday because I don't think its very genuine.. So i bought her a card and I was going to mail it tommorow.. Real sweet card, just kinda like Wish you everything good on your birthday and always.. Then i wrote on it "hope you the best on your special day" I guess i just didn't want her to think that I am ignoring her birthday and I want her to know that I actually took time to send something or let her know that I didn't forget her birthday, I just didn't want to call her because I am giving her space and time to figure things out. Is sending the card ok? i mean its not a mushy card and it doesn't imply anything about me wanting her back.. just shows her I remembered her birthday and I care.. Ideas? Thoughts?
Donut Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 Send it as a nice gesture if you must, but don't expect anything from it. You're just wishing her happy b'day. I'd be wary of her wanting to keep the key. Ask her again to send it back, there's no point in her keeping it. It sounds like she's using you as a safety net, in case her single life doesn't work out as planned. You gotta do NC after the b'day card and sorting out your key. Perhaps you can be friends one day, but not until you have genuinely got over it. By then you may not even want to be friends.
mixwell Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 yeah even though you arent with her you should at least send her a simple b day card.. .if you dont she will never forgive you !!! trust me !! haha... even though she broke up with you she would be crushed if you didnt send her a b day card.. my bday is coming up on the 30th of this month and i know that I would be pretty crushed if my ex didnt even txt me or whatever.. actually i wouldnt care too much but it would still kinda hurt a little bit... my ex and I talk here and there.. she broke up with me 5 months ago because i moved out of state, but have since moved back.. anyways that bltch has a new b/f which pisses me off but anyways i stopped calling her and she calls me every now and then but I think for the bday she will call.. I mean its just a nice jesture even tho you are just a friend... I think she will appreciate it.. So send it but keep it simple.. just a happy b day.. no relationship or i miss you or i love you in the card !!!! Just act like you are sending it to one of your guy friends or something.. haha.. anyways yeah.. hope this helps you decide... about the key also.. it only takes 37 cents to send a letter that is under 16oz i think ? so she could technically just mail it normal but I think its an excuse personally... Take care, peace
haywood Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 i think it's ok to send the card. i wouldn't. i'd just send a text msg. but seems you're going to send it anyways. but f*** the key. change your locks. just pretend you lost it. so when she asks about your key, you can just tell her to toss it. then maybe she'll realize that you're not waiting for her. keep up the NC. if she calls, just keep it short and light. gotta make her feel like you're still a fun guy. you guys are young, you have a lot of other people to meet. good luck.
gs121 Posted April 7, 2005 Posted April 7, 2005 me too, Im pretty confused too... long story short, I been dumped for two weeks from a near five year relationship, she ended it stating she wasn't inlove with me anymore, wants to be friends, etc.. I"m still heartbroken and betrayed... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t59760/ I have been NC ever since the minute we broke up.. her bday is coming soon, should I send something, acknowledge it or dont bother at all?
faux Posted April 7, 2005 Posted April 7, 2005 Based on my experiences, I would not send your ex a card. I would also not telephone your ex, compose an email, or any such other similar thing; I would leave your ex completely alone, and try as hard as I possibly could to fill my life with friends, academia, or work to attempt to forget about her and discover new experiences in life. You will do what you will choose to do. I find that every person must learn for himself in these situations. I think that whatever you do will be for the best. No matter what bad, or good, might come from your actions, the experiences your actions put into motion will provide you with a valuable learning experience.
westernxer Posted April 7, 2005 Posted April 7, 2005 I almost sent a b-day card to an ex... actually had it lableled and stamped before I tore it up and tossed it in the garbage. But that's just me.
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